If You're Going to Kill Your Mom and Her Friend, Invest in Gun Maintenance

I wonder if it's the heat down here, but it seems there are a lot of folks in the area who kill their own family members. That's cool. I'd rather violent people take it out on their own families than mine. However, a recent matricidal rampage ended with a daughter getting beat down instead of inflicting her full fury on her mother and her mother's friend, and it seems to be the result of a poorly operating firearm.

Is It OK To Kill Geese With Your Car In Jacksonville?

A Nextdoor post got a lot of heated debate recently, and I decided it was a good idea to weigh in on the issue. The initial post said that someone accelerated into a flock of geese, killing at least one goose. People angrily responded. Some mentioned it was a federal crime to kill geese. Others just said it was wrong. Then a couple of guys got into the discussion with their opinions that it was OK to do, or at least there's nothing any of us can do about it.

Frank White Would Strengthen The Death Penalty--What's That Mean?

Florida has the death penalty for murder, capital drug trafficking, armed kidnapping, and some felony crimes when there are death or sexual components to the felony charge. While I assume we've only executed people for murder, the other offenses do qualify. I also assume that life in prison is an option that sometimes is chosen, based on recommendations from the jury, based on whether or not the murder had certain aggravating factors. Then, once the jury decides death is the best course of action, the judge has to agree.

A Good Day to Play Baseball in JAX

I've written about playing baseball before, including the night after an awesome defensive game I had a few years back. Since an offensive explosion for me is 2 for 4 with two singles, defense is where I can help a team. Tonight, I got to play a "perfect" game at third base for the Bold City Kings that included one really good play, so it was a good day.

My Solar Score In Milwaukee Is Higher Than In Jax

This one is hard to compute, but I've used the tools on two different websites that came up with similar results: my Milwaukee house has a higher solar energy potential than my Florida house. Let's take a look at how that can possibly be the case.

Nerd On Nerd Crime Huge News In Jacksonville

The local Jacksonville news channels exploded after the mas shooting at The Landing. Granted, two people were killed, and nearly a dozen more were injured, so it was a big deal, but I'm wondering what captures our attention so much when it comes to this particular shooting, so much that the news channels had continuous coverage from when the event happened through the 11pm news time. Keep in mind, this shooting happened two days after a shooting at a local high school football game that involved all local people, killing one and injuring two.

Local Companies Rush to Barricade Classrooms For Profit

I was discussing the school shooting issue with a friend of mine who invented a Chromebook Case that we hoped might also be bullet proof. He told me he wasn't sure about the ballistic properties of his creation, but we did both see the potential profit in marketing a veritable shield. Neither of us wanted to do it, but it only makes sense, right? Local door and window companies are jumping in to make some money, just as the manufacturer of bulletproof backpacks made a run at the market last year. So, will all these upgrades make schools safer or just businessmen richer?

Over 25% of Duval Safety Assistants Turned Away--I Wonder Why

I have to wonder why over 25% of applicants for Duval school safety assistants were disqualified. Basically, the job is armed security guard, and I assume people applying realize what they are getting into. We're not talking about people who blow it at the interview here, I assume. Actually, it should worry all of us that 25% of the people who are trying to get into our schools don't qualify, and it makes me wonder just a little bit about the other 75%, too. Let's take a look at a few of the job requirements to see if we can identify what kind of past or present resulted in the downfall of 1/4 of the applicants.

Probably Only In Florida: Melissa Howard

Would people from other states actually falsely claim to have a college degree, then get busted, then take a photo with a diploma, then get busted again, and finally say it was all fake news? Maybe, but it's almost expected in Florida. The story didn't surprise me at all, and that means I'm now officially a Floridian.

Voting For Philip Levine Will Be The Best Thing I Ever Do?

Almost every summer of 2018 political ad is either pro-Trump or anti-Trump. Donald Trump is a lightning rod, but he has nothing to do with most local elections in Florida. I don't care if some Moody lady sued him for fraud or if Jeff Greene got into a shouting match with him at Mar a lago. The latest Phil Levine ad I saw attacked Trump a little bit, but it mostly just promoted Levine for something he did for Puerto Rico, ending with the mayor of San Juan telling me that if I vote for Levine, it will be the best thing I ever do. Uh, I hope not.

LOL JAX Film Festival: Irony or Not?

I'm not totally sure whether or not there's a legitimate film scene in Jacksonville. I tried to find a meetup group, but that didn't work out (not that it worked out much better for me in Milwaukee). I suppose there's probably a film school at UNF with the purpose being to move somewhere else to produce the movies. And we undoubtedly have artsy-fartsy folks, willing to attend sketchy film festivals in the hopes they can be there at the genesis of the next Steven Spielberg or even Michael Bay. Like how I saw Modest Mouse and The National as openers for REM back in 2008. So I can go see a dozen local short films done by local filmmakers, and check out local comedians, along with the chance of being there for something really special. Sounds good, right? Let's do some recon first.

Pure Energy Healer Review

OK, this isn't really a review of energy healing. I'm good, actually. Good enough. It's more about a website I stumbled on while at the library that demonstrates some of the same problems I've had as a writer / self-employed person. Laura is a healer who has the pureenergyhealer.com domain, but she also has tried to get business by other means, I found that as enlightening as her readings might be.

Bank of America, At Least Some Parts

I have accounts with several banks, and when you count credit cards, there are even more banks with which I deal. The problem is that these banks are not everywhere in America (including Bank of America), and that means fees if you need cash.

Wonderwood Speed Trap: Wondering If It's Good

I'd be the first to complain about speed on local roads. I'm also usually fine with targetted speed traps or DUI enforcement areas. However, when I drove past a recent speeding dragnet on Wonderwood, it got me to wondering about effective use of Duval County resources.

Making Money For The JAX Library

What if you could donate a huge sum of money to your local library just by clicking on a link? When I was sent a link through a neighbor on NextDoor, I decided to check it out. It's basically a voting site where you can keep clicking for your favorite library as many times as you want. Over and over. The good news is that Jax was already on top of the Southeast when I first tried the link. The better news is that every couple of votes allowed me to see actual upward movement in the results, meaning every vote does still matter.

Why I'm Not Visiting Pitstop Tires

Mostly, I don't like Pitstop Tires' use of Craiglist, making it difficult for me to find legitimate listings by sellers because of saturation of the same ad over and over. The ad that Pitstop uses (over and over) is also an excellent example of why you should pay attention when your English teacher says writing will matter, even if you're more excited about fixing cars or inheriting your parents' business. Some people won't visit your store if you publish an ad like the one below:

Dear Sir Curry, I Have A Large Sum Of Money For You

Greetings My Dear Sir Lenny Curry, 

This letter might be a surprise to you, But I believe that you will be honest to fulfill my final wish. I bring peace and love to you. It is by the grace of god, I had no choice than to do what is lawful and right in the sight of God for eternal life and in the sight of man for witness of gods mercy and glory upon my life. My dear, I sent this mail praying it will found you in a good condition of health, since I myself are in a very critical health condition in which I sleep every night without knowing if I may be alive to see the next day. I am Angelina John Van, a widow suffering from long time illness. I have some funds I inherited from my late husband, the sum of ($11,000,000.00, Eleven Million Dollars) my Doctor told me recently that I have serious sickness which is cancer problem. What disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Having known my condition, I decided to donate this fund to a good person that will utilize it the way i am going to instruct herein.

One Less Scum Off The Street

A local TV news story about contractors who rip people off uses a quote from a local resident in the ad. The man, satisfied with a local roofer being put in jail, says, "One less scum off the street." That sounds pretty tough, but let's take a look at what it really means, which will also show why it shouldn't be used as a quote to promote the story.

Bully Vouchers: Use Hope For Grace

If your child is getting bullied at school, you have the opportunity to transfer that child out of a public school and into a private school with vouchers funded by our taxes. It does not matter whether you are for or against vouchers. You need to be against bullying, especially when it's targeting your own kid. Go ahead and investigate the Hope Scholarship, and then figure out if Grace might fit your needs.

Residents of The Woods Must Love One Another

Either people who live in The Woods off Atlantic and Hodges really love one another, or else Jacksonville's GIS mapping has a bit of a problem. When I was looking at the area because I'd be helping someone move into the neighborhood, I noticed something very interesting about the properties: according to JAX GIS, about half the homes overlap onto someone else's property.

So Iguana Tastes Like Chicken... Who's In?

I just read an article discussing the use of nuisance iguanas as food. While it's not really my thing, it seems as if the annoying lizards may be heading for some dinner tables near you, and it's nothing new.

School Article Proof We Need School

As an English teacher, I am often disappointed with much of what I read online. When it's some blogger writing about her favorite recipe, I'm not bothered all that much. However, I recently read an article on a local Jacksonville news website that had too many errors for something supposedly written by a real, live journalist. Ironically, the article was about education.

East Arlington or Intracoastal West or Idlewild or Fulton

First off, I'm not sure if anyone has ever said "intra" when using the word intracoastal. I'd only heard "inter," as in intercoastal or interstate. But I'm not worried about pronunciation in this post. It's about actual names. I saw an older real estate post that used the term Intracoastal West to describe my part of town, but I think the generally accepted term for the area he was discussing is now referred to as East Arlington. That also makes me wonder if there's some other name I'm missing from over the years.

The Wait For An Oreo Update For My Moto G5 Plus

It feels like it's been almost a year that I've been waiting for the Oreo 8.1 update for my Moto G5 Plus. Fact is, I've only owned the phone a few months. However, after reading through the forums, it seems everyone else has been waiting forever for the update. And it has been a long time. 

Florida's Not #1 In Psychopaths

A recent study did NOT put Florida on top of a negative list. That should be cause for celebration. Of the lists I've seen, however, this is one I would not have questioned if FL was on top: states with the highest percentage of psychopaths.

Moroccan Breeze Needs More Wind to Fly

So I'm stuck in a cheap motel in Orlando that smells like someone used the air conditioner as an ashtray, but I'm still hungry. Almost hangry. And I want to try something new. Maybe Moroccan Breeze. Then again...

Takeaways From The Baxter Troutman Becky Ad

As someone who rarely votes, I'm more interested in political ads for entertainment rather than facts or ideas. I feel the Baxter Troutman ad I've been seeing lately is pretty entertaining.

Jacksonville Intranational / Interstate Airport

When I parked my car at a long-term parking lot to fly out of JAX last year, the guy running the lot gave me a ride. I said something about it being an international airport, possibly because I was worried about getting to the right gate. He just laughed and said, "This is Jacksonville. It's no international airport." Considering he was an international kind of guy, complete with accent, I assumed he was just expecting more. Then I looked it up, and I have also developed a suspicion that Jacksonville International might be misnamed.

Hammock Grove 1250 Square Foot First Floor Unit Prices

If you're looking for a moderately-priced condo in a decent area that's still close enough to the Beaches, downtown, the Town Center, and the 295, then Hammock Grove might be your groove. If you're like my parents and really want a ground-floor unit, then your options are limited to the 1250 or 1530 Square Foot units. In fact, many of the condos in the area are either second floor units or two-story, so if you want a place in Kernan Forest, and you want a single-story, ground-floor offering, then you'll have to search for The Sutler plan. Three bedrooms, two baths.

So I Got My Lincoln Replacement Car

If you're a local Lincoln owner, keep an eye out for your replacement car offer. You can get yourself a rental so that you're not driving around in a dangerous car, but it's not as awesome a deal as it sounds for several reasons.

When Will Jacksonville Hit 1,000,000?

With a census report that said Jacksonville added over 11,000 new residents in 2017, how long will it take for the city to boast 1,000,000 people? If we can assume 10,000 per year, and we're just over 890,000 now, that would mean this year plus ten more years of similar growth.

The Republic Wireless Problem--When You Get Lakecia Hickson's Old Number

Republic Wireless is good and cheap. Well, it's cheap, and usually good, just not if your secondary Jacksonville number used to belong to Lakecia Hickson. Even though I kept my own cell phone number from Wisconsin, when I activated my new phone in Florida, Republic felt it necessary to give me a more local number as my backup cell number, but I'm going to have to explain that one to you.

I'm Not Sure Stealing From Overflowing Salvation Army Donation Bins Is Stealing

The video was embarrassing for the two local women accused of stealing donated clothes from a Salvation  Army donation dumpster, and I'm sure catching them in the act and posting it as a news story will be enough to get these women to stop. I'm just wondering how bad the whole thing really is.

Don't Thank A Veteran This Memorial Day

I saw a Nextdoor post from a veteran who said what I've always said (but was a little apprehensive to say too loudly). Memorial Day is our day to remember those who have fallen for their country while serving.

PLEASE REMEMBER!!! As I see the Memorial Day weekend begin, I am seeing signs over town. "Honor a Veteran this weekend. Honor our Vets." etc. I feel the need to let everyone know, as a Veteran, we have our day. It is called Veterans Day November 11th. Memorial Day is not for the living, it is for the dead. PLEASE DO NOT COMBINE THE TWO! I feel it is disrespectful to our fallen when you add the living to this holiday. So this Memorial Day, don't thank me for my service, visit a cemetery and thank our fallen brothers and sisters who made the ultimate sacrifice for our country.

$50 - $60 Frontier Flights JAX to MKE

Non-stop. Cheap. Convenient.

It's not in time for our family vacation to Wisconsin this summer, but Frontier flights 814 and 815 will be flying non-stop flights between Jacksonville, FL, and Milwaukee, WI. The flights I found in September were for between $50 and $60. Other new cities have been added, too. I think I saw KC, and that would have been useful last year when I spent $350+ each time one way from JAX.

Local Chevy Dealerships React to Words and Thoughts

I suppose I was expecting more out of car dealerships. And these businesses mostly sell Chevys, not Cadillacs, so I have to give them some slack. However, I also remember working at a car dealership and seeing that it was a big deal for some guys to sell a mere ten cars in a month. That's why I was disappointed that my email sent to nine local Chevy dealerships largely went ignored. But it got me to thinking that the salesmen that need targeting (the ones who sell around 10 cars a month) probably aren't the ones who are allowed to answer the company email. Instead, those are dedicated internet marketers, who send out form letters and probably still sell twice as many cars (assuming they're in sales at all). The long and short of it is that I was terribly disappointed in the response I got from what I felt was a well-written email with a simple request. 

Why Are So Many People Saying They Got Their Title Back With Title Max?

I understand that there's a market for short-term, high-interest loans. And I know that it's not something anyone wants to have to do. When I first heard the jingle for Title Max, I assumed it was some kind of loan that paid off other title loans so that you'd still have the title to your car somehow. But not really. Getting your title back with Title Max is actually what happens AFTER you pay back the Title Max loan because it is a title loan.

Trying To Understand RIP Medical Debt

I totally understand why we'd want to forgive medical debt for veterans and others in need. In Jacksonville, it's all about vets, but the company RIP Medical Debt technically can do the same thing for all debtors. What the company does is good, I guess, but it's a weird good that shouldn't exist.

Now Could Be The Time To Go EV Or Hybrid Or Cruzin

I guess you could say I've already owned a hybrid vehicle. Three, in fact, as I ran two Mercedes-Benzes and a Suburban on diesel/vegetable oil. But I'm probably not going back to that method of saving the environment. I did start to look into solar panels for the house or maybe an EV car. Right now could be the time to pull the trigger on the car, especially if we could get all the GM and government incentives. I'm looking at the Bolt EV and the Volt Hybrid, but it would have to be the right deal.

Sinkholes In JAX or Not

I'd heard about the Florida sinkholes before. When my wife first wanted to drag me here several years ago, I told her I didn't want to disappear forever down a sinkhole, even if there is some potential poetry to that way of going. When I saw a report about sinkholes in Ocala, and it was referred to as Sinkhole Alley, I decided to see if Jacksonville has a sinking feeling.

Dr. G Medical Examiner - I Remember That Story

Dr. G said it herself that no one really knew much about medical examiners beyond Quincy. Today, we know other TV shows that make CSI, NCIS, or Forensics seem not weird at all, and that's probably the goal of the Dr. G show. Quincy was pretty awesome, though.

Is Your Average Monthly Spending Average For JAX?

Bank of America has this goofy tool that shows monthly spending based on zip code. I am sure it's not terribly accurate, since people use multiple sources of their money to spend (like other credit cards), but it does provide some percentages that might be useful for comparison. Actually, the link is for Better Money Habits and Khan Academy, so maybe it is more useful than just other BOA member stats. I'm not sure, but I'll take a look at it, anyhow.

Car Crashes into Sorority House; Not Exciting

Not a Jacksonville Sorority

I had visions of Animal House or Revenge of the Nerds dancing in my head when I heard that a car crashed into a local sorority house. I guess I was expecting too much, like that the car crash interrupted a pillow fight. Or that it was because of some kind of campus love triangle. Something titillating.

But this is Jacksonville.

Solar Panels Made in Jax and Installed by Local Crew

The title says it all. That's what I want, assuming I have the summer I am planning with work. We often talk about going local when it comes to produce, and there was always some talk of it back in Milwaukee (Harley-Davidson / Miller Brewing / Allen Edmonds / Koss / Master Lock / Generac...). But the South isn't a manufacturing hotbed, and I don't know if there's a commitment to go local when it comes to manufactured goods. In fact, going through the list of top employers, there's barely anything made here that's also for consumers (some business to business stuff). I guess SeaRay boats, but my cousin's husband works for Mercury Marine (Orlando area) and I don't want to own a boat. However, I do want to own solar panels, so when can that happen?

$100+ On Amazon Three Months Running

I really enjoy the idea of constant, recurring income. Just the thought that I might write songs now that will someday  help my wife go shopping at Kohls long after I'm gone makes me feel warm and fuzzy. Like a legacy without having to save for it. But it also feels like any good fortune you might have in this kind of income could easily be jinxed. That's why I have not taken the time to find out how I am currently making $100+ each month with Amazon as an author or associate, and I just hope my ignorance is bliss for months to come.

What's The Best Abduction Vehicle Name?

Last year, when I was driving back and forth between Kansas City and Jacksonville, everyone was looking for a Nissan Rogue driven by a teacher who went rogue with a student. It was an appropriately named vehicle for an abduction. With the recent possible abduction in a Chevrolet Captiva, which is also appropriately named, I began to wonder which vehicles have the best abduction names.


My own cars are an MKZ, 9-5, and X 1/9. None of these are any good, so don't worry about me. There isn't really a great place to find all makes and models of vehicles in one place online, so I'll do my best to list some vehicles that sound the part, but I'm missing plenty, I am sure. By the way, I absolutely do not endorse or condone abductions of any sort. And the cars listed have nothing to do with actual vehicles used in abductions.

Buick Centurion - Named after a commander in the Roman army, this is probably a decent name for a car in which to abduct someone.

Buick Enclave - I think that's the meaning they were going for.

Buick Rendezvous - Could you imagine a teenager meeting up with his or her teacher in a Buick Rendezvous? Oui, je peux.
Chevrolet Bolt - If you're going to run away with your favorite student, you're going to bolt. 
Chevrolet Cavalier - Someone who is cavalier shows a lack of proper concern, which would make sense
Chevrolet Citation - One definition of citation is a summons to appear in court, but some of the meanings are more positive. If I see some middle-aged guy driving around in a brand-new looking Citation, I get weirded out.
Dodge Stealth - When you abduct someone, you want to be stealthy about it.
Edsel Roundup - I guess.
Ford Escort - If you plan on escorting someone away from home, this car works, if you can get it started.
Ford Explorer - Explore your feelings and the country as you flee.
Ford Probe - Think alien abductions.
Jeep Wrangler - That's kind of the point.
Jeep Renegade - Like the Rogue, it has the feeling of someone who breakin the law.
Mitsubishi Mirage - It may not be stealth, but it's hard to find when you're on the run.
Plymouth Prowler - Probably the best name on the list.

Southern Living List of Bloggers in Jacksonville

It seems that Southern Living Magazine makes a list of top Bloggers to follow. I assume that since most magazines are just blogs with several authors, the fact is that most magazines are no longer really magazines, and authors aren't really journalists. 

It's not as if Southern Living is filled with poor writing. I actually wouldn't know for sure, since I have yet to read it. But let's assume it's like most other magazines, written by stay-at-home moms who are more clever than their counterparts who sell candles or jewelry at parties. 

The list of most important blogs to read more than likely gives a bonus to the top writers for the magazine, not an independent assessment of the best blogs in the South or in Jacksonville. So that's why I'm just mentioning my own blog as a top blog to read from Jacksonville, since I don't have a contract to write with Southern Living or Good Housekeeping or Ladies' Home Journal. Not even Cosmo. 

However, this is a top Jacksonville blog nonetheless. Because they all are. We all are. Anything that's more than just law firm or car ads adds to our community. Unless you're just a commenting troll on Jacksonville news sites. That's sad. Write a blog instead. 

Trick Question on Anatomy Test

This is one of those moments when I'm glad I'm not a teacher anymore. If you try to be funny or clever (and you're not careful), then you'll write something like this on a practice test (quoted from First Coast News):

Ursula was angry after her boyfriend broke up with her after having sex. To get revenge, she had sex with his best friend the next day. Ursula had a beautiful baby girl nine months later. Ursula has type O blood, her ex-boyfriend has type AB blood and his best friend is type A blood. If her baby daddy is her ex-boyfriend what could the possible blood type(s) of her baby NOT be.

The Number of Firetrucks Responding to a Fire

I know it's a big deal when there's a house on fire, and I can appreciate the desire to move an appropriate amount of resources to the fire in order to fight it and prevent others from occurring. But I have to wonder what constitutes an excessive amount of response. A recent Oakleaf Plantation house fire warranted "18 fire trucks and more than 45 firefighters," according to a local news site. If that's correct, I have to wonder if it's also right.

Free Review of Your Local Jacksonville Product

When you have a local blog, people want to get free advertising on your site. And the good kind, not an honest review from a paying customer. I remember when I worked on a student newspaper in Wisconsin, I'd get free items to to review. I think there was some kind of ethical such and such involved. But this isn't a student newspaper or a real newspaper. You give me something free, I'll use it and mention it. I won't lie, but I will carefully weigh any criticisms, unlike when I pay full price for something.

Not Having to Travel Very Far to go Anywhere

A woman interviewed about the large shopping development going in at the 9-B/I-95 interchange said she was excited about not having to travel very far to go anywhere. The problem is that anywhere, or nowhere, is what's being built.

JAX GIS Beats Homebuilders In Naming Streets

I'm not even sure if there are street signs up yet in Magnolia Grove near my house, but Jacksonville's GIS map has the street names in case you were wondering. Actually, I just used the GIS maps to help Google Maps add a few other streets, so using it is kind of like going right to the source.

Business Referrals in Jacksonville

I keep seeing planted ads in my Nextdoor email account, and it's annoying. I keep getting Alignable requests from when I lived in Kansas, too, and that's annoying. I don't like needing to figure out which of my websites will provide the best traction for an article, or trying to join the right Meetup group to get new jobs. Don't even mention Linkedin and social media. You probably don't like it, either, but we DO need those business referrals, right?

Confederate Memorial Day and Promposals - The Reasons We Still Read TKMB

To Kill a Mockingbird or NOT To Kill a Mockingbird? That is the question for lots of English teachers across the country, South or North. There are always some parents who want to ban the novel, yet each year I taught the thing, I always had plenty of current examples to go along with the story that took place in the 1930s for Pete's Sake!

Jacksonville Neighborhood Bill of Rights Means Something Or Other

While I don't appreciate the fact that several Jacksonville entities, including my aldermen, ignored emails from me, I can have some solace in the fact that there's a Jacksonville Neighborhood Bill of Rights. Right? Not really. It means that the HOA president can get emails answered, I suppose. But it's really a CITIZEN's Bill of Rights.

Dishwasher or Giant Drying Rack

Maybe this is a local Jax or FL thing. Two examples in less than a year make it more than a coincidence, I think.

Neighborhood Ponds--What Do They Do?

I read about the purpose of ponds on Jax's wastewater pages, but I still don't understand completely the pond in my backyard. I reached out to the email address listed, but I have not received a response after a week, so I figured I'd post the letter here. I've found that sometimes government employees spend time searching online rather than reading emails, and they will come across one of my articles and then contact me. If YOU happen to know the answers to my questions, even if you don't work for Jacksonville, Duval, or JEA, feel free to reach out to me. I think a lot of people in the area would like a better understanding of these ponds.

New Duval Superintendent of Schools Sought, Not That It Matters

I remember when the major Hollywood movies about fixing schools were big: Stand and Deliver, Lean on Me, Summer School. Oh, and Dangerous Minds and The Substitute. All stupid. Those weren't realistic, even if they were based on somewhat true stories. And a new superintendent coming in and fixing Duval County Schools isn't realistic, either, but I guess you gotta have one.

Review of Aquatics Camp at St. Johns River Base at Echockotee for Boys AND Girls

It's odd there isn't more about this aquatics camp near Orange Park online. The Scout River Base seems to have some reviews of its own, along with some reviews of the Aquatics Camp, but there's not a lot of buzz considering the cool factor associated with an aquatics camp like this for my kids. This review will continue to be updated as we go through the process of signing up and attending the camp. If we like it, then it will be a review that spans more than one year. This is for both boys and girls, Scouts and non-Scouts, though I am not sure how well it's advertised to the general public (and that's totally up to the Scouts to decide).

After Nine Months, Our First Back Yard Squirrels!

After 3/4 of a year, we have finally seen squirrels in our Florida back yard. I have wonder why we have not seen any until now and why we did finally see them in mid-April. After nearly a year of wondering where all the furry-tailed tree rats might be, three of them were hanging out in the trees and on the payset. In fact. one walked right past the patio door and looked in at us. So why now?

JAXEX at Craig - A Broken Noise Abatement System

After the third airplane flew right over my house today, I figured I'd let the folks over at JAXEX know that I know (or thought I knew) that the flight path is not over my house. I studied all kinds of maps before we moved here. Flood zones were important, but on this side of town, I felt like airport noise was just a much of a deal breaker. Supposedly, this wasn't going to happen here, but that third airplane was low enough that the pilot probably saw me give him the finger.

Are Jacksonville Home Buyers Looking For Big, Older Homes?

I was standing in a wonderful house north of Blue Cypress Park when one person in the conversation said that homes like the one we were in were taking off as far as demand and value. I totally believed her, and I think she said it was a realtor who had told her the information. I decided to take a look at recently sold homes to see if the data matched what we seemed to collectively believe in the conversation.

This Blog Can't Wait For HTTPS!

I spent a few minutes today looking at local Jacksonville blogs, and there was a noticeable problem with most of the websites, most of them Wordpress: https. I'm always surprised when I see a new Wordpress theme on a fully-updated website that is not secure, but it's more surprising as Google is saying Zero Hour for ssl is this summer. I think it's just a setting, people.

Jacksonville Influencers Read This

It used to be that good writing might get you noticed. Creative ideas or a new insight had a place. But you can look at Holloywood in order to realize it's more about who you know or who you are than how well you write. Apparently, online writing has become, at least in part, about the influencers, and if you consider yourself to be one of that group from Jax, then read some of my articles and influence away.

Key to Bank Robberies: Basic Transportation

In less than a year, I just saw the third report of a bank robber who left on foot after robbing a Jacksonville bank. I don't know what percentage of bank robbers get caught, but all three of the walking bank robbers got away as of the nightly news report. I wonder why that works.

Happy We're In Jacksonville This Winter, Or Spring

Sure, I can say some things about Jacksonville that make people wonder why we moved here. I think the world, and Jacksonville in particular, can be a better place, and I am always willing to offer free advice. However, this winter has not been kind to other regions of the country, and it continued into the spring.

Local Jacksonville Recording Artists, Anyone?

I've been working with a friend from Wisconsin who wants to record songs. I write lyrics, and I think I'm pretty good at it. He's a perfectionist who is busier than he thought he'd be. The result has been one song in almost a year, and he wants to rework that.

Fake Starbucks Coupon is Heartbreaking

Someone created a coupon for a free cup of coffee at Starbucks, but it was fake. When you scan the QR code, the N-word pops up on your phone. Supposedly, it was white supremacists, and it's probably idiotic enough to be their work. The surprising part to me was the reactions I saw on the nightly news.

Solutions to Potential Accidents

Jacksonville has plenty of potential problems on the road, especially the fast surface roads that are treated like mini-expressways. On my side of town, that's Beach, Atlantic, and McCormick. I decided to take one area of concern to me that I know well and suggest some solutions. While I know this has been looked at before and deemed un-fixable, I believe that the city might want to reconsider before someone gets into a major accident for lack of planning, which I would argue happens daily in Jax.

Your Broke-Ass Lincoln Will Never Get Fixed

Shana B says:
I would be more than happy to look into that for you Mr. J, what is your VIN?
Brian J says:
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Shana B says:
Mr. J, I do see the recall on your vehicle for the airbag inflator. We do not have parts at this time but we are working closely with our suppliers to try to expedite parts to repair the vehicles. You will receive a letter when parts are available instructing you to make an appointment at your dealership.
Brian J says:
OK, national site says there's no recall, And I've been waiting for three years. I guess it will get fixed after the fiery crash.

That's a real interaction between myself and Lincoln. I've been getting recall notices for several years now, and it's probably because I get a new one in each state I move to (two). But it also means that Lincoln is not doing enough. It's supposed to be a higher-end car brand, but those brands don't wait until enough people die before they fix a problem. A real high-end car brand would give me a loaner car until the dealership gets the parts. Or a new car. Something that isn't a potential death trap for three years.

I don't care if this is all Takata's fault. I hope several disgraced Japanese businessmen jumped off tall buildings because of this, but that still doesn't fix my car. Takata is out of business, and some people have gone broke, but that also does not fix my car. 

You know what will fix my car? If enough people die in MKZs, then it will get moved to the front of the airbag list. That's probably what happened with the Ford Ranger and Mazda pickup. But that's not a good reason to get moved to the top of the list. Someone in an MKZ needs to be the first to die in order to get the recall. I told my wife that old, slow Lincoln drivers have probably made them safer, even when there's an airbag disaster. Or the Lincoln airbag failure isn't as catastrophic for some reason. It doesn't matter. If these are all basically similar problems, the same deaths that happened in high-sales cars will eventually creep into lower-sales cars. Even ones driven by old people and my wife. 

My suggestion for any real automaker that wants to show it's more about customer satisfaction and safety than money is to replace my car or get me another car to use. This could come from Ford/Lincoln or a competitor. Or from a local dealership. That would be North Florida Lincoln or Bozard Lincoln. Feel free to offer me a safe car until you fix mine. It's not going to happen. I guess I'll just have to wait until the airbag fails so that I can sue Lincoln for not shifting into high gear to fulfill its contract with me as a customer. 

When I had recall problems with my Samsung washing machine, I made the decision that it would be my last major appliance from Samsung. I think three years is long enough to wait for Lincoln to make this whole airbag thing right. Unless something happens immediately, as in before our family trip this July, this will be the last Lincoln we own. I am sure that other manufacturers screwed up just as much, but I don't own those brands right now.

Even though the NHTSA website gave my car a pass (Ford did not), this is the recall info on the NHTSA website for my car:

January 11, 2018 NHTSA CAMPAIGN NUMBER: 18V046000
Passenger Frontal Air Bag Inflator May Explode
An inflator explosion may result in sharp metal fragments striking the driver or other occupants resulting in serious injury or death.

January 10, 2017 NHTSA CAMPAIGN NUMBER: 17V024000Passenger Frontal Air Bag Inflator May Rupture
An inflator rupture may result in metal fragments striking the vehicle occupants resulting in serious injury or death.

May 31, 2016 NHTSA CAMPAIGN NUMBER: 16V384000Passenger Frontal Air Bag Inflator May Rupture
An inflator rupture may result in metal fragments striking the vehicle occupants resulting in serious injury or death.

[UPDATE]

I'm going to start documenting all the instances that this airbag situation is affecting my family's life, since I've decided to at least not ride with front passengers in the MKZ.

4-24-18
I did not offer to go with my wife to Ulta. Ulta is not my favorite place by any means, but I normally would have gone.

6-4-18

I avoided using the car about a half dozen times, but it's a nicer car than my Saab, so I guess I chose shrapnel over safety some days. Got a recall notice that offers a loaner at $45 a day. We'll see if anyone is really willing to do this, since automakers have been fighting the idea since it was floated. Text message with chat buddy lady with local Lincoln dealership was worthless. Maybe by forcing the issue and actually asking for a loaner, I'll get on the top of the parts list.

A few hours later, and I already realize that I've been put on top of the marketing list, complete with another form letter email for my collection. But I won't relent on this one. Ford has decided to off $45 a day for me to not be able to sue the company for millions, so I will comply. I just hope I don't have to drive around in a Chrysler 200 or something awful.

Local Jax News Reporters Not To Go Bra-less to Support Protesting Teen

While it was never discussed in the news, I thought it might be interesting if local news reporters decided to not wear bras to support (pun intended) a local teen who was sent home from high school for doing the same thing. While the teenager's school dress code did not specifically bar bra-free females, she was told it was distracting. And it was.

MABL Turns 35+ in Jacksonville

Leg meets dry Jax grass

Hey Jacksonville weekend warriors, it might be time to un-retire the cleats one more time. The local MABL is trying to get a 35+ team going this year, and it will hopefully expand after that. Maybe even a league of our own, like Madonna and Rosie O'Donnell. Anyhow, if you're interested, you can find out more on the MABL page.

$1 To Walk on Jax Beach Pier?

My wife's uncle thought it was a scam. A hand-written sign near the entrance to the pier at Jacksonville Beach, charging $1 to walk on the pier. $3 to fish. We paid the money because they are from Wisconsin and don't get a chance to walk on an ocean pier very often. But I still wonder what the deal is, really. 

So This is What Oversized Means in a Home?

I got an update from Zillow and decided to check out a house in my neighborhood. It was the same house as ours, but something seemed different. Exact layout and room sizes, it seemed, but it just felt like a different house somehow (in the photos). Let's see if you can tell (it took my daughter about a half hour).

Paintballin JAX Style

I saw a report of a paintball fight in Jacksonville that resulted in damaged property and some arrests. One person interviewed claimed it was a new way of avoiding real gun violence. It's about as silly as Sunday Funday down in St. Johns County. But is it bad or wrong or illegal?

Jacksonville Law Families

Over many years in Milwaukee, it was Gillick, Murphy, Wicht & Prachthauser. 
And Murphy, Gillick, Wicht & Prachthauser
Maybe Gillick, Murphy, Gillick, Wicht, & Practhauser
Or just Murphy, Gillick & Wicht
Then Gillick, Wicht, Gillick & Graf
And Murphy & Prachthauser
But was it ever Gillick, Murphy, Gillick, Wicht, Graf & Prachthauser?
Or Habush, Habush & Davis
Before Habush, Habush, Davis & Rottier
Then Habush, Habush & Rottier 
Changing every couple of years. 

A Family Pass To State Parks With An Impossible Passport

OK, I'm not going to research this one entirely, but what was said on the news was so stupid that I needed to write it down. Supposedly, there's a new Passport program for Florida state parks, which sounds cool. You get a stamp for each state park you enter. OK so far. When you visit every one of the 164 state parks, then you get a family annual pass. Say what?

Jax Meth Lab Next To Police Headquarters

I wrote this story called "Deviant" with a main character (a social deviant) who moves in next door to the police headquarters in West Allis, WI. He taps into their router to view whatever he wants online, and he spies on what they're spying on (a hot girl in an apartment nearby). The story was supposed to have some irony. Just like the fact that the latest meth lab in town was right next door to Jacksonville police headquarters. But it doesn't really mean bad policing, though it could.

Annoying Neighbor - The Mighty Muffler

It's 7:45am on a Saturday, and I'm reminded of one type of annoying neighbor: the one who has a loud muffler. I'm already awake, so this isn't about me being woken up, but it's still a neighborhood nuisance. 

Dude, I Got This Sweet Idea To Get Rich!

Action News Jax finally did something beyond reporting what already happened. That's good news for residents of Jacksonville and very, very bad news for our mayor and everyone else looking to get rich off the sale of JEA. Keep in mind, I'm still cool with selling the utility, as long as we invest the money well. But that's not happening now, since there were too many little hands in the cookie jar.

If I Get Distracted By A Street Panhandler In A Law Firm Shirt, Who Do I Sue?

I understand the marketing. A law firm hands a homeless guy a t-shirt. Probably write it off as a donation. Probably feel good because they're providing clothing to someone, along with free advertising. Telling those of us who are oppressed or downtrodden that a lawyer in a white Maserati has our back. But this is a planted representative of the law firm, given a t-shirt specifically for advertising. OK, not exactly, but I bet some law firms have sued for whatever might distract a driver.

How To Lose At Lowes

Lowe's has been relatively disappointing as a home improvement destination for me, at least when it comes to sales. I know neither Lowe's nor Home Depot ever have sales anywhere near as good as Menard's did, but Lowe's seems to try a little more than HD with sales, which I appreciate. Scoring the sale items has been more hassle than it should be at the Jacksonville Lowe's stores.

Impressions of Magnolia Grove at Kernan and McCormick

I took the kids over to the new subdivision in the area in order to see the trends in new homes and neighborhoods. The basic takeaway is that we're happy to be in Kernan Forest, and this short review might help those of you considering the location.

Sumo Easter Celebration at East Pointe Church

I was driving with my family on Kernan on Easter Sunday after a walk in the park when I saw a police cruiser near the East Pointe Church. I figured the church was having some kind of afternoon Easter service and the cops were there for traffic control. The police force is used for church and school egress basically every day along Kernan, so it wasn't a surprise. However, a man wearing what appeared to be a sumo Mawashi was lying face down on a walkway near the church, so it didn't appear to be a normal Easter service. 

Cradle Creek Preserve, Eagles, and an iPhone

If you're looking for a quick hike through wild Florida close to Jacksonville, there are actually plenty of options. Cradle Creek Preserve is one opportunity you might want to try. It's similar to Castaway Island Preserve on the other side of the Intracoastal, just smaller.

Profiles in Courage: Corey Simma

I saw Corey's first weather broadcast back in December of 2017. He seemed to be just a little nervous, but I couldn't blame him for that. I would have been nervous, too, moving from Amarillo, TX, (ranked 131 in market size) to Jax and our ranking of 42. Sure, it's just a studio with a few cameras, but all those people watching probably gets heavy. Even on a weekend evening.

CEO of United Airlines Re-accommodates Some Sand

When the local news said that four homeowners who moved sand around on the beach to create a sand barrier in front of their homes included the CEO of United Airlines, I did a little research. Oscar Munoz owns what I assume is a vacation home (his office is in Chicago) worth over $6,000,000 in Ponte Vedra. He also paid $3.5 million for part of Oprah's old condo in Chicago. That's around $10,000,000 in housing, so being a CEO seems like a pretty good gig. And you probably get used to getting your way.

JEA Bill Flyer FAIL - River Clean Up, World Water Day, and a Free Tree

What do World Water Day and St. Johns River Cleanup Day have in common? Both of them were mentioned in my JEA bill flyer that I received on 3/29/2018 and that was billed on 3/23/2018. Actually, an Arbor Day free tree giveaway for Jax was also mentioned, so that's cool. The problem is, since these events had already taken place by the time I got the flyer, I participated in none of the events.

Ms. Senior Jacksonville - OK...

I saw and ad for a local news channel's Woman of the Week (which got me to wondering if there's a Man of the Week), and the woman who was chosen was affiliated with the Ms. Senior Jacksonville Pageant. I do not know anything about this particular pageant, but it did get me to wondering just a bit.

Ed Austin Regional Park - The Dunes

I know there are local Jacksonville names for bridges, parks, streets, and probably all kinds of other things I have yet to figure out. One such name that I'd like to address is The Dunes. Or maybe simply Dunes. It's Ed Austin Regional Park. I found the explanation at coj.net:

The City of Jacksonville purchased this 144-acre site in 1994, and was formerly the Dunes Golf course [...] Formerly known as District II Regional Park, it was renamed in May 2005 in honor of former Jacksonville Mayor Ed Austin.

My Alarm System Hard Wired Smoke Alarms Keep Chirping - Now What?

This is a specific problem you might run into if you purchased a home with an alarm system and hard-wired smoke alarms, and if you went and disconnected the alarm system. Or if you're thinking of disabling the alarm because it's just annoying, but you're worried about what might happen to your smoke detectors.

St. Johns, Not St. Jobs

Everyone wants to live in St. Johns County. Just like where I'm from, those people all say it's because of the schools. But that was supposed to be the purpose of consolidating Jacksonville's schools. Jacksonville went with an experiment that I actually would have thought might work, especially given the sheer distances created by making Jacksonville so huge. But it failed. Why? I'm not sure, but I'm still trying to figure out why so many people see St. Johns as the place to be.

First Project Volt, Then Projects Moon and Cart

What in the world is going on with Jax city government that we need code words for potential business development? As a naturally cynical person, I'm going to assume it's because if the names of the companies were disclosed, someone out there might argue against it because of the track record of the company. Or maybe all local governments work in secrecy.

Yes, There Are Supposed to be Signals at Kernan Forest Blvd and Kernan

I was at an HOA meeting tonight, and it surprised me when I asked about the widening of Kernan that the HOA did not seem to agree with one of the design elements I'd seen. The board members told me that there were no plans for traffic lights at Kernan Forest Boulevard and Kernan Boulevard, based on their own experiences with meetings and plans. However, the plans that are readily available online (and the only way I knew any information about the project), clearly show traffic signals at Kernan Forest, Running River, and Mastin Cove.

Same Birthday and Football Team = Happy Action Fun Time

I was watching Paternity Court, which is bad enough, but then the woman who was trying to prove the man in court was the man who made her a mommy said that she liked him because they shared a birthday and a favorite football team. Honestly, that might be enough for some people. Here's why it's not.

What is Your Quest? Crossing Jax Bridges

I was looking at some traffic data to see how busy my area of Jacksonville is when I came across the FDOT data for the area. After some playing around on the website, trying to find the busiest roads, I noticed that the bridges of Duval County are anything but serene. Let's do the math and figure out what it all means.

Based on 2016 data, here are the average daily traffic numbers for Jacksonville's bridges, starting from the north, including two bridges over the Trout River (first two) and three on the Ortega River. 107500 , 12900 , 73861, 72500, 52000, 12200, 30000, 159500, 5400, 43500, 22500, 137000, 47500. 

That's 776361 major bridge crossings per day, not including those over the Intracoastal. Actually, let's add those in. 23000, 51000, 42509, and 65500 = 958,370.

That means there are more major bridge crossings per day by vehicles than people in Jacksonville, or even Duval County. So what does it all mean? First, there's a lot of water here. Second, bridges must cost us a lot of money. Third, there must be a huge number of people who do not live in Duval County who use the bridges.

Jax Traffic Dames Point Bridge to 9B on The 295

If you're from out of town or live near me, the 295 is an important road. Here are the traffic cams from the Dames Point Bridge south to the 9B. Reload to see more current images.
Includes cams at the bridge, Merrill, Southside Connector, Monument, Atlantic, St. Johns Bluff, Beach, Town Center Parkway, JTB, and down past Baymeadows.  Enjoy.

Here's Why People Don't Invite News Crews Into Homes

I've seen a lot of people who tell news reporters to leave them alone, and many others who won't show their faces in interviews. Sometimes, I think it's silly, especially if you were just being interviewed about some random crime in the Walmart parking lot. Then again, there might be a time when you should have remained anonymous, like when you invite the news crew into your home to check out the mold in your bathroom.

$139,000 for Doors--What Could I Do For That?

So the Interior Department of our federal government is spending $139k for new doors for an office suite. That's a lot of money for new doors, so it's in the news. Granted, we're talking about an office with three sets of double doors, so that would be six doors. And locks were going to be added. And probably some money was going to sealing the areas that leak on the old doors. But it does get me to wondering what I could do for that money at my own office (I work from home).

Out of Town Zoo Membership?

We had a 100% zoo membership card when we moved to Jacksonville from another zoo. What that means is that some zoos would reciprocate 100% of the admission fees with that card, while others would do 50%. Jacksonville is a 50% zoo, meaning if you have a membership there, you get in ONLY at the JAX zoo for free, and ALL other zoos are 50%.