Section 8 Housing In Jax and St. Johns

I first heard of Section 8 housing when I saw a news story about St. Johns County. That story said St. Johns had some kind of law against Section 8 housing, which resulted in fewer options to house the homeless contingent in St. Augustine. I never looked up Section 8 at the time, though I did wonder how St. Johns could ban Section 8 while Duval can't. I'm still not all that sure about how or why, but I do know most of us don't want Section 8 in our back yards. In fact, I just discussed something similar to Section 8 with my kids, as we drove past the Dunes Apartments next to Ed Austin Park. I said the apartments looked so bad that it might make sense to pull them down and build some smaller single-family homes, which might result in some of the people who no one really wants hanging out in a park being forced to move away. But then one of my kids asked me where they'd go, and that's what makes it complicated. I'd like to say, "St. Johns County," but I can't. And so that means that those of us in Duval who live too close to Section 8 housing will eventually move to where that type of housing can't exist.

Culver's Arlington Location (UN)Explained

Evan Clagnaz is a lot like me. He's from Wisconsin. He wants a Culver's in the Arlington area of Jacksonville. He trusts other people. He has a few million dollars to invest in a restaurant. Etc. 

OK, fine, at 36 I didn't quite have $4+ million to invest. Or at 46. Maybe at 56 (fingers crossed), but by then, all the Culver's restaurants will have been built in Jax, and I'll have missed my chance to own one. Except for maybe one that fails because it’s been built in the wrong location.

My Guides to Jacksonville

I've met several people thinking of relocating to Jacksonville, and I often tell them to check out my website for my guide to the city. Except I did just that myself and realized it's not that easy to find, so here's a guide to my guides. 

Also, if you're thinking of moving here and want to hire an actual guide, that can be arranged. Use the contact form to work out the details. Or ask your realtor to take you everywhere...they love doing that.

Another Case Against Pitbulls

I'm sure some people in Jacksonville have already written me off as that guy who hates pitbulls for no reason. Even my own kids weren't really believers because "So-and-so has a nice Pitbull" or "Their dog is only part pit bull." But when one of these monsters comes charging out of a house in your own neighborhood and attacks your leashed dog on the sidewalk, that's when even the kids believe what I've been telling them.

Rosa Parks Homeless Park?

Rosa Parks Homeless Park

I've driven past the Rosa Parks Transit Station several times since it closed, and I noticed that quite a few homeless individuals line the streets nearby. Since a bus terminal is an eyesore already, and this one is just fenced off, I was wondering if maybe we'd be better off just combining two eyesores into one, making the Rosa Parks Homeless Park out of the bus station. 

Home Dental Office in my Neighborhood

Apparently, one of my neighbors was running an illegal dental office a couple blocks away. I never knew such a place existed. I mean, I could see a massage parlor or loansharking business, but an actual dental office? And without me even knowing it.

How to Get Your Nuisance Neighbors Out

I just found out that the neighbors that we like next door are moving out. That's good for them, as they get an opportunity to get a new home of their own. We are hoping it's good for us, too, but just in case it's not, I am prepared because of events that happened on our block about a year ago.

Sawgrass Village Shopping Center Road Rage

I guess folks with expendable income show up in their Mercedeses and Lexuses (Mercedes and Lexi?) to the Sawgrass Village Shopping Center on Valentine's Day. At 1:15 on Valentine's Day, it was if there was a senior citizen convention at the shopping center. One of them nearly made a citizen's arrest on me, just before another one nearly crashed into another patron of the NY strip mall. Overall, there were too many mini and mega SUVs vying for the same parking spots, presumably occupied by shoppers looking for that perfect gift to curb the whining before it even happens.

Does HOA collect police reports for crimes in my neighborhood?

Someone on Nextdoor was asking this question, and I was tempted to respond that the only thing HOAs collect is money. The real responses to the question ranged from, "It depends on your HOA" to "That's not part of what an HOA does." While I can understand that crime is separate from house paint and green lawns, since crime is the #1 factor in property values, HOAs probably need to DO something when it comes to crime.

Opendoor Self-Tour Insanity

I just drove past a new construction or fully-flipped home with a sign that said you can just walk right on in and tour the house. In Jacksonville! That's why I had to call it Self-Tour Insanity rather than instantly.


Fine, maybe in Charlotte or Indianapolis, you can just tell folks to download the app, use the (digital?) key, and tour the beautiful home in a civilized manner. But in Florida in general and Jacksonville in particular, self-touring of homes might require a little more security.

Record Your Kids Being Excellent

I recall being in a fast food restaurant recently when a kid was being a real nuisance. To be honest, I don't remember exactly what he was doing, but it was loud and stupid. Therefore, his parents grabbed their phones and began recording the shinanigans, and I was thinking the only thing that could be worse would be for them the share that video with the world. Of course, that's exactly what they did. To recap, instead of disciplining the kid, the parents encouraged inappropriate behavior because it made good video. That's dangerous. People wanting instant fame through their own or their kids' idiotic actions is an unfortunate side effect of America today, and it really can be dangerous, sometimes.

I Hate to Disappoint Home Invaders, But...

A home invasion down in Eagle Landing (Oak Leaf Plantation) netted $140,000 that the owner had hidden in the attic. Three home invaders and a gun. Scary stuff.  I'm here to tell anyone planning a home invasion not to bother with my home. Apparently, the man whose home was invaded flaunted money on social media. Maybe he was one of those make money fast gurus. I'm not, so no money here, home invaders.

58 Gangs, 705 Members in Jax

The following article uses stats found online and opinion in order to address the crime and gang problem in Jacksonville. It is not meant to accuse gangs or police officers or Pacific Islanders of anything that offends your sensitivities. As it is, to an extent, satire, it should be protected by my 1st Amendment rights, yet someone out there flagged it for review, hiding it behind a warning. That's sad, as is the person who objected to the content.

Jacksonville has a crime problem. Most cities do. We also have some gangs in town. 58, apparently. With 705 gang members. I am not sure if this was discovered using census data or what. Maybe a Survey Monkey survey. But what do the numbers mean?

Roadside Knife Stand - Only in Florida

My wife was driving through central Florida when she got to see something that surprised her, even though she's now lived in Florida for a couple of years: a roadside knife stand. I have to admit, I was even a little taken aback. My first question for her was whether or not she took a photo of the stand, which she did not. I'd seen oranges and other edibles before. Nuts, watermelons, etc. Shrimp, even. And you'll see people set up yard sales right out to the street, maybe with antiques (or just old junk). There was a place along Locust in Milwaukee where you could pick up a used appliance right from the sidewalk, which was a little odd, but you can apparently get cutlery along a state highway in Florida.

Bringing a Shank to a Knife Robbery

I've seen plenty of news reports of people robbing retail locations with guns, and there have even been some with knives, but I was surprised to see a news report of an attempted shank robbery. The word shank is a slang term for a shiv, which is a makeshift knife. (I am not sure why the news used the term "shank.") I've seen enough films with prison settings to know that shivs are commonly used in prison, since knives and guns are not readily available. However, both guns and knives are everywhere in non-jailhouse Florida, so I wonder why someone would use a shiv in an attempted robbery.

Retro Fitness and Single Moms

I feel bad for the employees of Retro Fitness who lost their jobs suddenly. I was surprised when the news framed the story as affecting single moms, but then they backed the statement up by interviewing two single moms who had worked there. While I'm sure Retro Fitness didn't only hire single moms, it almost seems that way based on 100% of former employees interviewed being in that situation and the newscaster calling attention to it. I wonder if Retro Fitness offered some kind of special benefits to single moms.

Discover Kept Us Safe From Skimmers

Right after we got back from a vacation over to Tampa, I got an alert from Discover that my credit card had been used twice in some odd transactions. One seemed to have been approved, while the other was denied. Discover handled the whole situation well, which is better than I've seen with some other cards.

Only In Florida: Millionaire Stealing From Kmart

Where else would a guy who owns an $8 million private island and a Real World House decide to steal from Kmart? Nowhere else. Only in Florida. I thought that it was uniquely Florida when three guys walked right into a Walmart and stole the arcade claw machine, loading it into their pickup truck as if they were going to service it. But those guys were probably unemployed or at least poor, so it was just a badly-hatched plan. So was the plan to buy items at Kmart and then return different items in the boxes. But the Kmart plan was devised by a guy with enough capital to purchase an $8 million island, so it's even more odd.

Followed Home in Jacksonville

A neighbor was recently followed home by a white SUV, and the comments on Nextdoor were all over the place. I think there are several angles to consider here, even though most of the people commenting were fairly single-minded in how they saw the situation.

Retiree Guide to JAX

Jacksonville just made the Top 10 in some list of places to retire. The only problem is that the city isn't really in the Top 1000 for people who are actually looking to retire, so maybe it's time New Jax Witty works on putting together a local guide for folks who no longer have to work.