Saturday, April 4

Satan to Pay Rick Scott For Connect Reemployment System

When I read that Rick Scott spent $77.9 million for the Connect system, I wanted to know how one goes about procuring a contract like that. In its current form, no state would pay $77.90 for such a system. I wish the state would pay me for the hours I spent trying to submit my unemployment, but I guess the whole point of the system to prevent any payments from ever being made. Since the horrendous experience is fresh in my mind, I'll go through a few of the intricacies that made the Connect system worthy of the Prince of Darkness.

Thursday, April 2

Coronavirus Family Activity: Filing For Unemployment Like it's 1999

Florida Reemployment Assistance Program Website on mobile
If you want to see a time machine, head on over to Florida's Department of Economic Opportunity website, and the Connect pages you need to use to file for unemployment. I assume the website was developed back around the time Al Gore invented the internet, and that was the case well before the Covid-19 crisis.

Wednesday, April 1

Did DeSantis Just Reopen Churches?

Buried in all the Safer at Home orders today was a nugget that I almost couldn't believe. First, Jacksonville jumped the gun to issue a local order that apparently kept ammo shops open as an essential business, though I did not see the local Jax order on churches, most of which had already gone totally online.

Coronavirus Family Activity: Decorate for Easter / Puzzles

Easter decorations and a puzzle table
This is a dual activity for your family during the Covid-19 outbreak. Since no one should be visiting your house, this is your chance to decorate it however you want. This might include the most ridiculous Easter decorations, but it might also include setting up a puzzle or activity table right there in the living room. No one cares. The Queen of England is not coming over to inspect your house, so take this chance to live like it.

Tuesday, March 31

Coronavirus Family Activity: Camping Out

camping in jax
I'll begin this with my usual diatribe about why I hate camping. The human race has spent ions perfecting our dominion over nature, so why would I want to be sweaty/dirty/freezing/smelly/buggy/sleepless? I wouldn't, but I camped out for several years because my son wanted to be in Cub Scouts. Covid-19 and staying at home has provided our family with the perfect opportunity to use our camping equipment, even if not all of us actually spend the night in the tent. 

Coronavirus Family Activity: Walk a New Neighborhood

Point La Vista Rd Miramar Jax
Even if you are being forced to shelter in place, you have to get outside. Eventually, you might not venture any further than your own yard, but if there aren't strict rules, you can at least take a walk through your neighborhood. The only problem with having a dog who loves long walks is that you might get bored not having parks or beaches available. Our family decided to venture out to a new neighborhood for a walk before (and in case) the shelter in place order comes to Jax. 

Monday, March 30

Bulk Commercial Toilet Paper Solution

residential commercial TP dispenser
Maybe we weren't totally out of toilet paper, and maybe the stores were going to catch up with all the hoarding. But we were running somewhat low, and I sure didn't want to have to use alternative solutions that might clog up the plumbing, so I got to searching online. Plus, if we could get TP delivered, then we would not have to worry about hanging out at the store with hundreds of people in order to find one item.

Thursday, March 26

Online Church ... Now What?

church online donations
Your church has transitioned to being online. Maybe you drove people away in the first week with a shrill-sounding Facebook Live service. Maybe you don't even have a Facebook or (better) YouTube account for video. Maybe you'd prepared by delving into online technology and presented yourself in a professional manner. But the money problem still exists. Even if SOME of your church members have been paying online for several years, not everyone pays online. And those who do pay online might like another option. Let's take a look at some of your online church options for keeping the money coming in.

So All These Folks Who Can't Cook or Bake Need to Hoard Flour?

I understand the toilet paper. Everyone wants two weeks worth of TP to make sure that they can survive a quarantine or shelter-in-place order. Or an apocalyptic zombie attack. Even guns I get, since you obviously need to protect your toilet paper and canned food stash with an assault rifle. Other Covid-19 hoarding I don't get. Like water and flour.

Monday, March 23

Online School Day One

It's not even noon in my house, and it's nearly complete insanity. Day 1 of online school. Both kids are currently in school-sponsored group discussions, so I am hearing them and all of their friends all at once. My wife, who teaches at the school, is trying to troubleshoot problems in communication with her own students. And either it will all work out eventually or else devolve into something of a scheduled daily chaos session as the world deteriorates around us. 

Sunday, March 22

Covidifiers Could Cure Florida

The worst part about Florida is the hot, humid summers. I always tell people from the Midwest who are also considering moving down here that the summers are like winters up there: just stay inside. However, Floridians have a real opportunity to live Covid-19-free this summer, and it's a natural solution, maybe with a little help from my new covidifier invention (patent probably pending).

Coronavirus Assignment: Say Something Nice

If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all
Sometimes it's fun to mess with people a little bit online, like when I ripped on some guy from Lenexa, KS, for thinking he was some kind of a real poet. Or the local Millennial on a mission to become a typical scammer. Or when I smoked a CEO who was acting like a CEO. However, as we all deal with Covid-19 and our families all day at home with us, let's all take some time to write something nice once in a while in order to keep the world and ourselves sane.

Saturday, March 21

Just the Mobile Version of the Florida Coronavirus Covid-19 Map

florida coronavirus map
Too many websites want you to read lots of content or click on newsy ad links before you use the Florida Coronavirus map of Florida Covid-19 cases. Or someone thought embedding the map on a website was a good idea using either mobile or desktop.

Wednesday, March 18

Online Lessons for Teachers

online teaching during covid-19
If you're a teacher suddenly having to teach students online for the first time, you're going to want to use the resources available from your district and beyond. I started teaching predominantly online about a decade ago, even though I still had students in my classroom. Most of my 300+ ORIGINAL assignments were created so that I could use them either as handouts or as Google Docs. They were also used as Microsoft Office assignments when I taught in Florida for a stint.

What the Duck? Irresponsible Dog Owners or Nature

what the duck, jax
I was driving through the Five Points area, trying to avoid hitting one of those colorful ducks when my rider told me the worst story ever about a duck. At least the worst I'd ever heard, not having been told an abundance of duck stories.

Monday, March 16

Home Dental Office in my Neighborhood

dental office east arlington
Apparently, one of my neighbors was running an illegal dental office a couple blocks away. I never knew such a place existed. I mean, I could see a massage parlor or loansharking business, but an actual dental office? And without me even knowing it.

2010 - 2014 Cadillac SRX or Saab 9-4x Trunk Fix

Our Saab 9-4x (similar to Caddy SRX) had a liftgate that started to creep back down after opening. We did not yet have the problem of it closing immediately or without warning like I'd seen on forum posts, but it was probably heading in that direction. I searched for the best replacement pressurized cylinder liftgate support, and this is the one I chose from Amazon

Friday, February 28

Getting a Dog License in Jax

tax collector jacksonville fl

I don't really know why a dog needs to be licensed in Jacksonville. I have a microchip inside my dog that will lead me to it, and the dog also wears a collar with contact information for our household. We have the documents stating the dog has three years of rabies shots, but we did not have a tag for Duval County. And that's probably the reason to get licensed, not that I've ever heard of animal control shooting a dog for not having tags in Jacksonville. Anyhow, the wife says we need a licensed dog, so for $20 a year, I figure that's the least of our dog-related expenses.

Thursday, February 27

Viral NextDoor Child Care Post

$5 an hour child care jax
Normally it's the crime posts that get the most comments on NextDoor, but one slightly out-of-touch grandma set off a firestorm of responses, so I figured I'd give her post another boost on here:

Childcare Needed
For our 4 year old granddaughter......We prefer an adult, with or without children, but a responsible college or high school student will be considered.

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION
* We live in Cobblestone
* Provide Care in your home
* We will pay you $5 per hour cash, weekly
* No set hours, but mostly afternoons and evenings, including weekends
* * Anywhere from 10 to 25 hours per week.

Wednesday, February 26

1001 Reasons NOT to Build a New Website

Salesmen are good at what they do, and they will tell you that apps are the future or that you can simplify your website. While apps aren't the future, there's some truth to simplifying, but it's at a cost. What I would say is that you should simplify and then have a blog or archive, just in case. Facebook doesn't do this for you. Twitter or Instagram either. Youtube can be useful, but it's not really a great place for people to learn more about your business.

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