Only In Florida: Millionaire Stealing From Kmart

Where else would a guy who owns an $8 million private island and a Real World House decide to steal from Kmart? Nowhere else. Only in Florida. I thought that it was uniquely Florida when three guys walked right into a Walmart and stole the arcade claw machine, loading it into their pickup truck as if they were going to service it. But those guys were probably unemployed or at least poor, so it was just a badly-hatched plan. So was the plan to buy items at Kmart and then return different items in the boxes. But the Kmart plan was devised by a guy with enough capital to purchase an $8 million island, so it's even more odd.

Followed Home in Jacksonville

A neighbor was recently followed home by a white SUV, and the comments on Nextdoor were all over the place. I think there are several angles to consider here, even though most of the people commenting were fairly single-minded in how they saw the situation.

Losing Your Mom is Rough, But...

I think we all understand that we're going to die someday. We also should understand that our loved ones will also die. There are several people in our lives that we don't want to see go, and I am sure the death of a child is the worst to have to deal with. Parents and siblings, too. But again, it's going to happen. That's why I was little surprised at the sports reporting on a local news channel from Georgia.

I Think I'll Run For President

With Florida Mayor Wayne Messam of Miramar announcing his intent to run for president, I believe we've come to a point when I can probably get into the race. My kids (who are not of voting age) always tell me that they'd vote for me if I ran. Messam just won the office of mayor of a town of 140,000 by getting about 6,000 votes, defeating an opponent who got less than 1,000. Percentage-wise, that's a big victory, but it's not really any more impressive than when you count the number of hits my articles have received on various websites over the years: over 1,000,000. If most of those people enjoyed reading my writing, I figure I have just as good a long shot as Messam to become president.

Male Fashion and Lifestyle - Gray Hair

I just turned in a resume for consideration, and while I was researching the company, I saw a photo of the employees. They looked young. Honestly, that doesn't bother me all that much. After all, I was high school teacher, so everyone looked young at that job. My friend told me that he likes his gray hair because others seem to respect him more at work. Of course, he's a social worker at a hospital, so maybe the gray hair keeps the young doctors from messing with him. Since I'm not sure I want to look quite as old as I am if I actually get an interview somewhere, I guess I have to address the gray hair in this week's male fashion and lifestyle blog entry.

QR Code Interview Gimmick

My kids' school created a pamphlet with a QR code that linked to the website, so I figured it could be useful to do the same thing when I bring in my resume to a job interview. Especially since I made a cool online resume that really looks a lot better than the printed kind. Plus, printing all that I've done over the last two decades would be a huge waste of paper (unless it gets me the job).

Who's Got My Back in Jacksonville?

I've seen several political ads recently that focus on people who have the back of the police officers. I suppose that's a thing, but I am not a police officer (or a native of Jacksonville), so I'm kind of wondering who has my back as I settle in here.

Interest in Curling is an All-Time High

I saw that the Curling Club of Jacksonville members were working out? on the ice recently, and the news story indicated that an Olympic win in the sport? has led to interest being at an all-time high. So there are literally hundreds of Americans interested in curling. But being from Wisconsin, I know a thing or two about ice-related activities, and I kind of wonder why curling would be taking off nationwide when there are several other ways to have fun on or with the ice.

JAXEX Bad Neighbor 2

The last time I wrote an article about JAXEX being accused of being a bad neighbor, my website broke because I tried to embed the flight map. I am hoping it does not do that again, and it's really kind of mean-spirited of the flight tracking company to NOT allow embedding, and also to have a 10 minute delay.

Retiree Guide to JAX

Jacksonville just made the Top 10 in some list of places to retire. The only problem is that the city isn't really in the Top 1000 for people who are actually looking to retire, so maybe it's time New Jax Witty works on putting together a local guide for folks who no longer have to work.

A Funny Story From Our First Spelling Bee

My son participated in his first spelling bee this year, making it to the finals of his school and then filling in for the champ at the Duval County written spelling bee, which he did well enough on to get to be one of the 26 finalists. That's pretty cool, and it's further than I ever got in a spelling bee, even though I was pretty good at spelling. Just not in front of people. The event itself was an interesting experience, and one that's as much a lesson for parents as the kids. Problem is that not all the parents learn the lesson, apparently.

Church of God the Mother at UNF

UNF sent out an email regarding at least one of the churches that shows up on campus to talk to students. I don't attend UNF, so I don't actually know much about the situation. But I went to college, and there were sometimes churches represented near the Union, and there were sometimes heated debates. I never got involved myself, and I was only approached one time, so I'm not taking a stand on Christians on Campus or Socialists or Republicans or White Nationalists. So I'm cool with anyone except Nihilists or The Eagles showing up on campus to discuss whatever with Millennials. I'm just wondering about the name "Church of God the Mother."

Arlington Renewal: Reality Check

I'm all for reviving and renewing Arlington, as long as it's not going to wake up all cranky on us. I have enough experience in urban planning (as a college student and connoisseur) to be able to predict a few major concerns with renewing Arlington, whether or not some hot-shot Miami developer says it's going to happen. And I don't have millions of dollars or years of experience in the neighborhood. Just sense.

Grammar Police Issue Warrant for Pablo Creek Library

I don't expect a whole lot out of the general public when it comes to grammar. I kind of think that the English language is generally a stupid language. We could do so much better, but we're not going to change to Esperanto in the near future, so we just have to deal with it. Like I said, I can understand when someone at the local gas station calls it the Ladie's Room or Lady's Room or Mens' Room. I can look past it when someone in marketing says, "A winner must claim there prize immediately." Errors, all of them, but those are just normal, everyday people. I'm an English teacher, so I see all the mistakes; I just don't tend to give them much thought. However, when I see some questionable grammar at the local public library, that's when it's time to put on the old badge.

Gunshots, Babies Crying, and Screaming - Jacksonville

It's my first mayoral race here in Jacksonville, but I assume it will be a fun one. Two candidates who don't like one another. Anna Brosche's attack ad seems to be a metaphor for her distaste for Lenny Curry, but a lot of people also called the ad itself distasteful. If it was for a local ice cream shop, I'd totally agree, but when we're talking politics, then you can use the gunshots, crying babies, and screaming without crossing the line. Fear is the top emotion for local news, home security sales, and political ads.

An "Interesting" Résumé Means Good Luck

I got one of those weeding-out phone interviews recently. (I'm kind of looking for a job.) The interview was a lot like the ones I got right after I got laid off as a teacher of twelve years back in Wisconsin. Even though I've had an added several years of experience (not teaching) in addition to my years as a teacher, I still apparently have an "interesting" résumé. I know this means I won't be likely to get a call for a real, in-person interview, since the only people who appreciate interesting résumés are those who don't work in HR. If you also have an interesting résumé, I feel for you, and I'd hire you if I could.

Adverstising on Zillow For Free?

I was looking up the highest crime area of Arlington when I came across a strange phenomenon on many of the homes near the high-crime apartments. Someone had claimed the homes on Bert Rd. and added the following:

This property is never For sale or rent sun and Jerome Harrison Wilson and Emma kim-tashis Harrison Landlord Owner contact me at 904....

The $5,000 St. Augustine Trash Bin

St. Augustine wants to replace garbage cans with garbage/recycling cans. In theory, I like the idea, since I did the same thing in my kitchen. I know that my $60 kitchen garbage can isn't commercial-grade, and it's probably a bit smaller than what's needed, but for $5,000 a pop, I'm hoping some local artisans are building 16th century vintage trash cans. Wait, there were no garbage cans when St. Augustine was founded. So we can do whatever we want.

Giveaway! Florida Drug and Alcohol Course & Permit Exam

This contest is currently OPEN

If you are a parent of a soon-to-be driver or a kid who's looking to get a license, I've got a giveaway that's perfect for you. I have been authorized to offer Aceable's (Florida-valid) combined Drug and Alcohol Course & Permit Exam (valued at $48 online; on sale for less right now) as a giveaway for New Jax Witty readers.

What Can You Get For $5 and Some Potato Chips in Jax?

Sometimes, police officers must have a hard time believing the stories they hear, even if the admission is so ridiculous that it must be true. This is one of those stories. A woman was shot at a gas station by a man who fled on foot. Those are both fairly typical events in greater Jacksonville. The assumption would be that she'd been mugged. Or targeted for some reason. Uh, not exactly. Actually, the woman had been paid $5 and some Pringles to provide a service for the man. He then shot her and took the $5 back. No word on the chips.