No tebow ..

I was trying to use my stylus to write the title of this article about notebooks, but my phone thought I wanted to write about "no tebow .." That's kind of weird that Tim Tebow (or his half-meadow wife) would be mistaken for my hand-written word "notebook," but maybe it has something to do with the misuse or non-use of the actual word in the Jacksonville area (and the reason I wanted to write an article about notebooks). The word confusion probably has something to do with where I'm from versus the locals versus all the other transplants to Jacksonville, but we seem to have a bit of a miscommunication about what a notebook is or is not. 

One of my kids got a class supply list that included "notebook paper." Another class wanted a "three-ring notebook." Still another class demanded a "spiral." The notebook paper is probably loose-leaf paper. It doesn't come in a notebook, nor can it be added to a typical notebook. However, it can be added to a three-ring BINDER. The problem is that some teachers around here think the three-ring binder is a three-ring notebook. Not really. There are at least two kinds of notebooks: the spiral notebook and the composition notebook. I believe my kids had a teacher who asked for a composition notebook but really wanted a spiral notebook. A spiral notebook has a metal wire that spirals around as the binding. A composition notebook has a glued binding. These notebooks have paper inside them already. A binder is empty but can be filled with loose-leaf paper, after which point you could call it a three-ring notebook, I suppose.

This stuff isn't really all that complicated. And it probably shouldn't bother me as much as it does. It's nowhere near as confusing as the fact that no two teachers in DCPS give out assignments in the same format, as some use Teams, some use One-Note, some use paper, some use their own websites, some use third-party websites, and some just tell the kids something in class. And these are the professional teachers, not ex-military and other heroes who don't know a thing about education. 

But more importantly, what ever happened to Trapper Keepers. Those were all the rage when I was in middle school. I know, it was just a three-ring binder with cool stuff added, but that cool stuff was pretty cool.

In conclusion, today we learned A. no Tebow and B. a notebook is a notebook is a notebook.

Man For Rent to do Nothing in Jacksonville

I read about the Japanese dude who rents himself out to do nothing, and I kind of want the gig here in Jacksonville. I'd heard about middle-aged men renting themselves out to give advice to youngsters, but I think I might actually be better at this doing nothing thing. In fact, I should be your first choice in renting someone who doesn't have to do anything while being somewhere with you.

The Japanese man says he'll talk when people want to chit-chat, but he's not in it for friendships. I can totally do that. I'm a good friend, a good wingman at pubs, and a good conversationalist when I'm interested in a topic, but I'm also an introvert who would rather avoid other people most of the time. I'm perfectly satisfied to stand around various places in relative silence. Sometimes, I'll sit and stare into the back yard for twenty minutes. If you want me to sit and stare into your yard with you, that's perfectly fine. I can even stare into your yard while you do laundry or watch soap operas.

Unlike other men for rent to do nothing in Jacksonville, I am perfectly capable of not doing anything. I won't mansplain at you or debate with you or try to make you a sugar baby or bff. Nope, I'm good. But if you don't want to visit the art museum or take your yacht on the Intracoastal alone, I'm the best option around. Better than an ex or that freeloading cousin from Palatka, anyhow. I'm even willing to hang out at a Jags game or some other local minor league game. I know a lot about sports, but I have no interest in local teams, so you don't have to worry about me swearing my fool head off. But I also won't go on my phone and ignore you or the game. I'll do my job, which is to do nothing.

I don't do drugs and I'm not a booze hound. I literally like any music--I used to listen to the Hmong hour in Milwaukee Sunday mornings on WMSE just because it was something different--so I'll go to any concert with you while doing nothing there. I'm artsy but not pretentious. I have more college credits than many PhDs, but you wouldn't guess it... unless we get into a deep conversation (we won't). I even speak French, but I probably won't be saying anything to you in French unless you know how to ask me a question in that language, and then it would just be to answer the question, like "Oui" or "Non." I won't try to sell you anything more than my presence, and I'm not generally embarrassed by how others look or act--I've got some stories I could tell you about that, but I won't. Most of all, I'm not going to tell you that you're doing it all wrong like your dad might do: I'm not there to do anything but be there.

I suppose there are some rules. You can't dress me up in a scary clown suit and have me frighten kids or use me as a mule for your drug transaction. Nothing illegal or immoral. No overnights to Monaco or Akron. Maybe Monaco. No dating or date-like handsy stuff, boy or girl. That's doing something, and my job would be to do nothing. That said, you can request that I smile or nod approvingly, like when I watch my kids play sports. And if you insist on doing something, you pay for all of the expenses. I'll drive if you want to pay for the gas and mileage, but I'm not coming over to help you move your sofa to your new apartment.

If you want to stop feeling lonely all alone and would rather feel lonely next to another person, I am that person. Use the contact form to hire me to do nothing with you. It'll really be something.

Florida Tourism - The Destination Funeral

I was trying to find out what happened to the lovely 33-acre May Mann Jennings Park over on the North Side when I had this great idea for tourism in Jacksonville. It's mostly because Streetview of the park seemed to only show the Evergreen Cemetery, which kind of shares (or overruns) the park. In fact, COJ says the May Mann Jennings Park has "been returned to a natural, undeveloped state." For those of you who don't know government code, this means there's no funding for a park in an industrial/hood area of town. Anyhow, my search for a forgotten gem of a park was thwarted, but the cemetery next door got me to thinking about Florida/Jacksonville tourism, and I wondered if anyone had ever considered a destination funeral. 

Jaguars in London Has Precedence (And it Worked)

I grew up in Milwaukee, near where the Packers played. When my family moved to a new house near County Stadium, I lived just a few miles from Packer home games. Yes, home games in Milwaukee for the Green Bay Packers. The Jacksonville Jaguars are going from one to two games in London, and it's being done for the same reasons as the Packers playing in Milwaukee. The real question is whether it will work out for the Jaguars as well as it did for the Pack.

Profiles in Courage: Shawn Hall

Shawn Hall, according to the news accounts, single-handedly stopped an out-of-control ride at the Duval County Fair. He looks to be a big guy, so I can believe he stopped the ride. (Also, if a ride can be stopped by one person, it might not be the sturdiest ride in the world.) When I looked up his NFL career, just to check out his stats, I could not find him. Maybe he changed the name he normally uses so that fans don't recognize him. This article wasn't going to be about the NFL career of Shawn Hall, but I just wanted to see how big he really was. Anyhow, I want to return to the news interview. What caught my eye in the interview? Malibu!

Xtreme Wings Sports Grill Is Not Quite A Packers Bar

No one ever told me Xtreme Wings was actually going to a bar for Packers fans. I was just kind of hoping it might be, since the bar is fairly close to home and not at all located in the St. Johns Frown Center. It worked for one game, actually, even if it’s not quite a Packer Bar.

The London Llamas or Jacksonville Jaguars

My daughter had some of her friends over today, and one of them scoffed at the Green Bay Packers glasses I gave them. Since I had just seen the news story about Shad Khan's purchase offer for Wembley Stadium (along with the assumption across the pond that he plans on moving the Jaguars there), I told our guests that they might have to cheer for a new team soon. And why not the Packers, right? I know, Mr. Khan has not said he wants to move the team out of town, but he also wants to build a convention center and sports district. I assume that there may be some back room negotiations in the near future.

Sacksonville Should Prepare For the Worst; Hope For The Best

When it comes to sports, I'm more of a realist than a pessimist. There's a difference, but both philosophies point to the distinct possibility that Jacksonville will not be in the Super Bowl next year. When you finish second in the AFC only to Tom Brady (who has to retire eventually), you might think it makes you a shoe-in for next year. And that could very well be, but there's no guaranty, and it's certainly harder to make this whole Sacksonville thing into any kind of a dynasty. That's I was sad to see the team lose.

So DJ Easy E Made Up Duuuval Chant, But Did He Make Up His Name?

It's pretty bold to claim you coined a phrase, especially one that has suddenly become more popular because the Jags have figured out how to win some games. I'm not sure how many people would reach out to the local news in order to take credit for taking something others were already saying, but that's cool. I'll go ahead and take credit for 9-ohhh-fohhhhh right now.