Tuesday, April 30

Let's Rename Bishop Kenny to Bishop Lenny

Bishop Kenny was probably a real person. I'm sure he was a decent guy, but the fact is that it's not like he has kids and grandkids clamoring for continued recognition for him. Conversely, Lenny was a Jacksonville mayor who managed to survive trying to sell off JEA so that1 he and his buddies could retire early. He also let another buddy pretend to be a cop because he was rich. Lenny put up a bunch of flashing blue lights in crappy neighborhoods to stop crime. And he oversaw a very successful decade of construction at the airport I-95 interchange. I'm sure he did some other stuff, too, and he sent his kids to Bishop Kenny (unlike Bishop Kenny himself). All of that should be reason enough to rename Bishop Kenny to Bishop Lenny.

Some might say that Lenny is not a Bishop, but Lenny's rich friend was not a police officer when he was allowed to hang out at police HQ and wherever else within JSO he wanted to go. I guess that's what heroes who receive the key to the city get out of it, at least until they start asking teenagers for lap dances. Also, I'm not a manager, yet many people in Jacksonville call me "Boss." I guess the school could be renamed Boss Lenny, but Bishop is a little more religious sounding. Less Boss Hogg-ish.

Maybe Bishop Kenny hobnobbed with God, but we don't have photographic evidence of that. Bishop Lenny High School could display photos of Lenny hanging out at sporting events with lobbyists from power companies. Power companies are powerful because it's right in the name. 

Lenny left us with mostly the way he found us, but with some small upgrades. The I-95 interchange at the airport still under construction. Shotspotters are now used to know when and where someone got killed. The empty Landing has been replaced by empty space. Older strippers, then younger strippers, and now probably older strippers again. Confederate monuments. I am glad those fishing game gambling things closed, and I'd say that is the #1 positive accomplishment for Lenny. Jesus, and probably Bishop Kenny, would have approved of getting rid of those dens of sin.

I'm sure there were people in the Catholic church who used terms like "useless," "alcoholic,"  and "favoritism" when referring to Bishop Kenny. Lenny will be comfortable hearing these words, too.

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