Tuesday, March 31

Coronavirus Family Activity: Camping Out

camping in jax
I'll begin this with my usual diatribe about why I hate camping. The human race has spent ions perfecting our dominion over nature, so why would I want to be sweaty/dirty/freezing/smelly/buggy/sleepless? I wouldn't, but I camped out for several years because my son wanted to be in Cub Scouts. Covid-19 and staying at home has provided our family with the perfect opportunity to use our camping equipment, even if not all of us actually spend the night in the tent. 

Coronavirus Family Activity: Walk a New Neighborhood

Point La Vista Rd Miramar Jax
Even if you are being forced to shelter in place, you have to get outside. Eventually, you might not venture any further than your own yard, but if there aren't strict rules, you can at least take a walk through your neighborhood. The only problem with having a dog who loves long walks is that you might get bored not having parks or beaches available. Our family decided to venture out to a new neighborhood for a walk before (and in case) the shelter in place order comes to Jax. 

Monday, March 30

Bulk Commercial Toilet Paper Solution

residential commercial TP dispenser
Maybe we weren't totally out of toilet paper, and maybe the stores were going to catch up with all the hoarding. But we were running somewhat low, and I sure didn't want to have to use alternative solutions that might clog up the plumbing, so I got to searching online. Plus, if we could get TP delivered, then we would not have to worry about hanging out at the store with hundreds of people in order to find one item.

Thursday, March 26

Online Church ... Now What?

church online donations
Your church has transitioned to being online. Maybe you drove people away in the first week with a shrill-sounding Facebook Live service. Maybe you don't even have a Facebook or (better) YouTube account for video. Maybe you'd prepared by delving into online technology and presented yourself in a professional manner. But the money problem still exists. Even if SOME of your church members have been paying online for several years, not everyone pays online. And those who do pay online might like another option. Let's take a look at some of your online church options for keeping the money coming in.

So All These Folks Who Can't Cook or Bake Need to Hoard Flour?

I understand the toilet paper. Everyone wants two weeks worth of TP to make sure that they can survive a quarantine or shelter-in-place order. Or an apocalyptic zombie attack. Even guns I get, since you obviously need to protect your toilet paper and canned food stash with an assault rifle. Other Covid-19 hoarding I don't get. Like water and flour.

First, water. There is nothing wrong with the water supply, at least not until hurricane season. You don't need bottled water during a Coronavirus outbreak. There's a much better chance to spread the virus via packaged items from the grocery store than via a public utility. In fact, I believe there is a 0% chance of your house water or electricity giving you this virus. Bacteria infections can sometimes survive in public water, which is why you might want a fridge water filter. I guess these filter companies could say you have a 0% chance of catching Covid-19 from filtered water. Or from unfiltered water, probably. Like I said, there's no reason to fill your garage with bottled water. 

Flour is the most odd hoarded item, assuming people are hoarding rather than just buying something they don't normally buy. And they don't normally buy it. Or use those bread makers that are still in the box since the wedding, five years ago. Or ten. or twenty. I wonder if there's a shortage of yeast, too. More than likely, people who have never made bread or baked much of anything, rushed out to get the one ingredient they know probably is needed in baking and cooking. Only to find out they might need yeast and baking powder and spices and all kinds of other items no one needs when you eat at Chick-fil-A or Panera four times a week. 

For those of you who do eat out or buy frozen all of the time when the world is normal, flour is one of many ingredients in what you eat. For example, the breading on KFC's fried chicken would include flour along with 11 herbs and spices. Flour doesn't magically turn into bread or breading or cookies, my Millennial friends. And since it's not magical and does take effort and the use of a real oven rather than an air fryer, why did you bother to buy the last three pounds of flour from Family Dollar when you couldn't find it at Publix. Next year, you'll just have to throw it all away when you discover mealworms or flour beetles. 

Based on social functions we've been to in Jacksonville, it seems that the only place around here where people actually bake is at the Publix bakery. I am optimistic that some old family recipes will be resurrected as more people are at home right now. Here are some pointers for you from a family that does a lot of cooking and baking. 
1. Flour might look like sugar, but it's not. 
2. Dark pans are terrible for baking cookies. 
3. Bread in bread makers will often not rise. It's a problem a lot of men (and women) have, and you should not be embarrassed by it. You might need to change things up to get the rise to happen naturally, but don't give up and don't blame yourself. 
4. Cooking and baking create a lot of dishes. You might need to learn how to use the dishwasher as more than just a drying rack
5. Teach your kids to cook and bake so that they are not as helpless as you when they grow up.

Happy Homemaking!

Search New Jax Witty

Related Stories
 After One Year, We Realize AquaLift Doesn't Work
 A Garbage Bag Filled With Silver Pots
 Best Kitchen Purchase This Year is a Garbage Can
Thanks for reading. See more of my content:

Satisfamily - Articles about being happy as a family
Passive Ninja - Web Design in Jacksonville
McNewsy - Creative Writing
Educabana - Educational Resources
Brave New Church - Church Website Design
Voucher School - Pros and Cons of School Vouchers
Luthernet - Web Design for Lutheran Churches
Sitcom Life Lessons - What we've learned from sitcoms
Mancrush Fanclub - Why not?
Epic Folktale - Stories of the unknown
Wild West Allis - Every story ever told about one place
Educabana on Teachers Pay Teachers (mostly ELA lessons)
Real Wisconsin News - Satire from Wisconsin
Zoo Interchange Milwaukee - Community website
Chromebook Covers - Reviews and opinions

Brian Jaeger - Resume (I'm always interested)

Contact Me

Monday, March 23

Online School Day One

working from home
It's not even noon in my house, and it's nearly complete insanity. Day 1 of online school. Both kids are currently in school-sponsored group discussions, so I am hearing them and all of their friends all at once. My wife, who teaches at the school, is trying to troubleshoot problems in communication with her own students. And either it will all work out eventually or else devolve into something of a scheduled daily chaos session as the world deteriorates around us. 

Sunday, March 22

Covidifiers Could Cure Florida

covidifier florida
The worst part about Florida is the hot, humid summers. I always tell people from the Midwest who are also considering moving down here that the summers are like winters up there: just stay inside. However, Floridians have a real opportunity to live Covid-19-free this summer, and it's a natural solution, maybe with a little help from my new covidifier invention (patent probably pending).

Coronavirus Assignment: Say Something Nice

If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all
Sometimes it's fun to mess with people a little bit online, like when I ripped on some guy from Lenexa, KS, for thinking he was some kind of a real poet. Or the local Millennial on a mission to become a typical scammer. Or when I smoked a CEO who was acting like a CEO. However, as we all deal with Covid-19 and our families all day at home with us, let's all take some time to write something nice once in a while in order to keep the world and ourselves sane.

Saturday, March 21

Just the Mobile Version of the Florida Coronavirus Covid-19 Map

florida coronavirus map
Too many websites want you to read lots of content or click on newsy ad links before you use the Florida Coronavirus map of Florida Covid-19 cases. Or someone thought embedding the map on a website was a good idea using either mobile or desktop.

Wednesday, March 18

Online Lessons for Teachers

online teaching during covid-19
If you're a teacher suddenly having to teach students online for the first time, you're going to want to use the resources available from your district and beyond. I started teaching predominantly online about a decade ago, even though I still had students in my classroom. Most of my 300+ ORIGINAL assignments were created so that I could use them either as handouts or as Google Docs. They were also used as Microsoft Office assignments when I taught in Florida for a stint.

What the Duck? Irresponsible Dog Owners or Nature

what the duck, jax
I was driving through the Five Points area, trying to avoid hitting one of those colorful ducks when my rider told me the worst story ever about a duck. At least the worst I'd ever heard, not having been told an abundance of duck stories.

Monday, March 16

Home Dental Office in my Neighborhood

dental office east arlington
Apparently, one of my neighbors was running an illegal dental office a couple blocks away. I never knew such a place existed. I mean, I could see a massage parlor or loansharking business, but an actual dental office? And without me even knowing it.

2010 - 2014 Cadillac SRX or Saab 9-4x Trunk Fix

fix your cadillac srx or saab 9-4x liftgate
Our Saab 9-4x (similar to Caddy SRX) had a liftgate that started to creep back down after opening. We did not yet have the problem of it closing immediately or without warning like I'd seen on forum posts, but it was probably heading in that direction. I searched for the best replacement pressurized cylinder liftgate support, and this is the one I chose from Amazon.

Contact Brian

Name

Email *

Message *

Pennies From Heaven AKA Welfare for Writers

The reason why we have ads on this site is because that's one way writers make money online. Your presence on this site right now might make a penny for our family. Clicking on an ad might get us closer to $.50. Buying something online as a result of clicking on a link can make us a few dollars. We will not get rich from this money, but every penny helps out. Every like or share or re-post or follow. Please, make a donation to our family by clicking.

JAX Weather