Monday, April 25

She Used to be a Star; Now She Works in Jacksonville--Nope

For over a year, I've been seeing these clickbait stories that show a photo of Julia Stiles along with a title that she was once a star and now things are totally different. The truth is that she was a minor star who decided to finish college and therefore never became a major star, but the article title would have you believe she got on drugs, chose the wrong movies, decided to work 9 to 5, or otherwise did something to ruin her stardom. The latest iteration of this story in my "personalized" clickbait ads says that Julia Stiles used to be a star but now works in Jacksonville. 

Instead of clicking on the bait, I looked her up, though the top articles about her seemed to be on clickbait sites, anyhow. The problem is that Julia Stiles (and any former Hollywood actress you might see in a similar article) isn't working in Jacksonville. She's not down on her luck. She didn't ruin her career. She doesn't have tons of regret from something in the past. She doesn't look strangely old. She's just an actress in a successful TV series I've never heard of.

But talk about a manipulative and consistent click bait strategy. I'd been seeing fake-ish article links for months about this actress. I was able to resist because I didn't care all that much and figured it was probably gossip. However, once the algorithm (or whatever it is) added my own city to the story, I was obliged to find out if this former Hollywood starlet did, in fact, take a job at JaxPort or a local Whataburger. Alas, no. Her TV series does not film in Jax, and she does not have any appearances scheduled for the area. Sorry, guys, this particular star from your high school or college years is not working at the St Johns Town Center. 

Julia, if you're reading this, I really do hope that someday you will take a job at a local fish camp or at least retire to a house on one of our fine beaches. Not that you're old or should even consider retiring. Also, I am glad that you're not just a 9 to 5 working stiff like the rest of us. And always remember that I love the way you talk to me and how you cut your hair and the way you drive your car and when you stare and combat boots and rhyming. And laugh and cry. Blah blah blah.

Sunday, April 17

Goodwill Store at Kernan and McCormick is Either Good or Bad For Neighbors

My son and I were debating what might go in at Kernan and McCormick because I had yet to read the Jacksonville Daily Record article that would have given me the answer. Cheapo corrugated exterior with a drive-thru, but too big to be a fast food restaurant. After guessing at a funeral home or medical center, I found out that it's going to be a Goodwill Store. And I'm not sure what to think. 

The Goodwill will be our closest business (that's not a church). In some ways it's odd that Goodwill got the corner store when any one of three churches could have established a thrift store at the same corner. But I'm not sure I would have gone to my pastor (we attend one of those churches) and pushed to have a thrift store less than a mile from my house. I don't know if having this kind of store is bad or good for the hood. 

I tried to find any kind of statistical analysis of thrift stores and crime. My wife was concerned about the clientele that might shop within striking distance of our home. My kids were more worried about my wife deciding to donate all kinds of items behind their backs on the way to work. Either way, I couldn't find any proof that more crime happens when a Goodwill or other thrift store is near your house. Or if people who live close to a Goodwill donate more items than those who live further away. We know the batting average of a player at home at night in June when the dew point is above 70, but we don't know if thrift stores cause crime. 

Strip clubs seem to cause crime, at least in Jacksonville, so I'm glad the new Goodwill is not a gentlemen's establishment. I'm especially glad it's not some kind of Goodwill that transitions into a strip club after 9PM. Also, whatever those fishing game places were also brought crime. And gas stations, I think. The gas stations that are near thrift stores and wooded areas seem especially sketchy to me, but just the thrift store on its own, not so much.

Crimes might occur at places like massage parlors, tanning salons, laundromats, or other places people tend to get naked, but I didn't really research these establishments because Goodwill stores aren't massage parlors.

I guess I'm glad the Goodwill isn't a bar, even if I would probably like being able to walk to a watering hole like I could back in Milwaukee. Bars can probably cause some trouble. Liquor stores, too. Sure, you can buy a lightly-used set of wine glasses from Goodwill, but you'll have to head over to Monument to fill those glasses with booze.

If some guy named Zeke in a pickup wants to drive through my neighborhood on garbage day and take my old patio furniture before the garbage truck, I don't really mind. And if he just happens to be in the area because he also likes to hang out at Goodwill, no big deal. But if he decides to dismantle my catalytic converter from my car in my driveway, then it's a problem. 

I suppose if we had a Rolex store go in on the corner, we'd have nothing to worry about, but our local demographics don't support building a Rolex store. Which is probably my biggest concern, actually. Someone, somewhere thought that our local demographics will support a thrift store. That's kind of a reflection of who Goodwill thinks lives around me. My guess would have been a gun shop or pickup truck accessory store.

Anyhow, if you're looking for some DVDs or worn-out shoes, there will be a new store in Jacksonville for you to shop at the corner of Kernan and McCormick.

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