Friday, February 26

Jax Local Ad of the Week: Beachside Swimwear and Gifts

First and foremost, support local businesses. Now, let's look at the ad. 

At first glance, this week's ad might seem like standard swimwear fare, but (like most ads) there are some strange details as you look closer. But maybe it's just because the business is trying to sell off those old 2020 swimsuits. Or it's just really difficult to make swimsuit models look natural in a tiny print ad. 

Let's start with the blonde and brunette pair. Nothing really odd here, except the brunette does seem to be communicating via bluetooth earpiece. And she has the most uneven spray-on tan I've ever seen, particularly for a swimsuit model. Maybe she's a Secret Service swimsuit model. Still, two women standing next to each other in swimsuits IS pretty much what you'd expect from an ad like this. 

The next two models are more of a conundrum. They are oversized in comparison to the pair standing in the foregorund, which means they are either huge or not to be taken at face value. It's almost as if they are on a billboard behind the other two models. In propaganda (advertising), the importance of someone is often dictated by his or her relative size, so you'd expect an extra large North Korean dictator standing behind his subjects. But there's no legitimate reason to think the two larger models are more important than the other two. Another theory is that the secret service agent model is really putting her hand to her head because she's imagining something. 

It makes total sense to me that a swimwear model would imagine other swimwear models while daydreaming. Maybe she's thinking it would be cool if she and her companion looked more alike, almost like twins. And wore the same swimsuit in order to complete the effect. "I'd have a amore even tan and you'd stop dying your hair blonde." I guess it doesn't matter all that much why the larger-than-life background models are there, but they are, and that's where the ad starts to get pretty darn strange. 

As I mentioned, they are dressed in nearly the same swimsuit, seemingly lying down next to each other. Or else one is hanging from the ceiling like a vampire swimsuit model, which is absolutely a thing, just not in this case. I believe they are lying down next to each other on white chairs or pillows next to a pool, as there are clearly pool-like tiles in the background. The only reason to believe these two ladies are not the same person wearing the same suit is a slightly different shape to their eyebrows, but either one could be the other's stunt double, because models probably have stunt doubles. So secret service model is imagining herself and her friend lying down by the pool and wearing the same swimwear, but flipped sideways in order to fit in the allotted space for the ad.   

And about that wearing of the same outfit. I'm no marketing genius, but if I was trying to sell all those 2020 suits, as well as new ones, I'd probably have four models wearing four different suits. Unless all of the 2020 suits are that one design. I'd also show them beachside rather than poolside, because that's the name of the business, but what do I know?

One final and kind of disturbing detail is the upside-down model's arms and hands. You can kind of see creepy fingers behind her head, but it's really hard to imagine how they got there based on where her left arm is heading (and without being able to see her forearm). But that's probably just some weird Photoshopping, I guess. The other arm, however, is crazy! Look at that thing! It looks all skinny and lifeless, but then the hand seems to be borrowed off a toddler, maybe a vampire toddler. Her toes are longer than her fingers, for heaven's sake. I think probably she's holding something in her hand, like a Mini Built Bar, which creates the effect that has me mesmerized, but it bothers me. 

Be sure to use your Money Pages coupon if you head down to Beachside for a bikini. Actually, I wonder if that's something a lot of people do: head down to the beach and figure they'll just buy the swimsuit when they get there. That's like packing all your bags and heading to the airport, and then trying to buy your plane ticket to Baltimore. Or like heading to a restaurant and then trying to meet someone for a date. 

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