Wednesday, December 21

Driving Games Jacksonville Style

My daughter was telling me about a driving game she played with someone who was originally from Missouri (where driving games are probably still a thing) called My Cows. Basically, you claim cow herds. And there's some mechanism by which you can lose your herds, I guess if someone else sees a cemetery. That's a cool game in Missouri or Wisconsin (and some parts of Florida), but driving entertainment in Jacksonville is much more refined, and we don't have enough cows, so I've come up with some local games.

My Abandoned Building
It's like the cows game, but you claim abandoned buildings in Jacksonville. However, if you see new construction, you can blast your opponent's cache of abandoned buildings.

What I'm Thinking in the Rain
This was my original Jax driving game. You just come up with the thoughts of the pedestrians you see when there's a torrential downpour.

The Fashion Police Have Issued a Warrant for...
Jacksonville isn't exactly Los Angeles, which is apparent when you see people (including me) walking around. An extra-large purple workout suit? Leather pants on a hot day? Plaid shorts with a striped shirt? I've seen them all, and you will too if you look. Pretend you're one of the mean girls and have fun. Just remember to keep your windows up or your voice down.

Pitbull Name Game
Killer, Daisy, Cupcake, or Scooby. It doesn't really matter. Pitbulls are everywhere in Jacksonville, so I made this game up just for that breed. However, if you're in Ponte Vedra, just change it to Doodle Name Game. Also, once you decide on a name, you have to sing the song. Killer, Killer, bo-billler, banana-fanna fo-filler, me-my-mo miller, Killer. Something like that.

Homeless Dream Ride
Identify a homeless person and then pair that person to a vehicle currently on the road with you. Then give a reason for the choice as a dream ride. Like the BMW will remind him of when he was a banker in New York.

Pickup Truck Bingo
You'll need some bingo cards for this, but the it's very easy to get a lot of variety. White F-150, Black Ram, Blue Silverado, etc. You can also have more general slots, like Japanese or Heavy Duty. You want El Camino, go ahead.

Hauling at the Moon
For this game, you identify the item that's being hauled by a Jacksonvillian that is most likely to fall out or off of a vehicle. Pickups, trailers, open trunks, roof racks, bike racks, handheld roof surfboards, etc.

Cheers!
I might have been drinking when I came up with this game, and I don't exactly remember what it was about. Maybe drunk drivers. Sure, why not. Let's just say it's what you yell when you see a vehicle that should get pulled over for probable cause (no headlights, erratic driving).

Pin the Pin on the Address
Get out your phones for this one. Someone picks an address in Jacksonville and then everyone else drops a pin closest to where they think the address might be (without looking it up). Closest wins. This game works because Jacksonville is stupid-big with stupidly-named roads.

Bus Stop Confessions
When it's your turn, choose a person at the bus stop and imagine what their deepest secret might be. Nothing obvious, like, "I enjoy yelling at people on the street." More like, "When I was a vice-president at AOL, I enjoyed getting snail mail," or, "I'm wearing Christmas pajamas under this outfit."

I'm Firm For The Law
Pick a word like Gavel or Lawyer. Yell it when you see a law firm billboard or bus seat ad, or hear a law firm ad on the radio. First to say the word gets the points and the winner with the most points gets to say, "I am the law!" at the end.


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