Tuesday, July 25

Are Wealthy Gen-Zers the Most Annoying People on Earth?

I meet a lot of wealthy people. Most of them are just like you and me, just bigly richer. Some of them like to tell me they're no conspiracy theorists but there's a podcast I ought to listen to. That's not even terribly annoying. But Gen-Z rich kids might be tops on the list of annoying.

I just read that only 35% of Gen Z always tip at a sit-down restaurant. That's mean and annoying. I'd say about 20% of Gen Z tip when using Uber Lyft. Probably less. But the fact that they are fine buying daily $10 drinks at Starbucks while not tipping waitresses at real restaurants isn't all that makes Gen-Z annoying.

They check out in a way that makes them seem like they don't care. And maybe they don't. But, honestly, I'd rather deal with a checked-out Gen Zero than one who wants to talk. Especially a rich one.

I heard one conversation where wealthy mommy, who had just taken Bryce on a skiing trip, suggested they go to the Caribbean next month. But Bryce didn't like the available waves for surfing or whatnot, so he wanted a different island. I've noticed that most Gen-Zeros who live in Ponte Vedra know absolutely nothing about Jacksonville, as if they live in a bubble or something. (They do.) Sometimes, it's just the constant repetition of a given word, like the Lacrosse team boys who kept saying everything was so sick. Or was it lit? Or fire? Or epic? Or legit, boss, tight? I don't know, but when three teenage boys keep saying the same word over and over, I was so not amped.   

But one conversation took the cake when it came to annoying Gen Z kids. Mom, Daughter, and BFF got a ride from me. Daughter says she has a pleasant natural odor and does not require deodorant. Both girls are so happy they thrived while on an exotic vacation. BFF had a life-plan to marry rich, send her kids to a high-end private school, and vacation in the Hamptons. I thought she was kidding, but I'm sure now she wasn't. They all congratulated themselves on BFF"s mom who is so magnanimous to take off work as a doctor to be a volunteer nurse at their ritzy summer camp. And their siblings had ridiculous nicknames, one based on a an animal, that is probably terribly cute for the family but surely won't be his name when he takes over for daddy as CEO. Daughter also drops the f-bomb every other sentence with no negative reaction from Mommy, who seems to enjoy it, meaning the family is probably nouveau-riche and from the East Coast, possibly Boston (the birthplace of swearing). BFF had an interest in a mutual acquaintance to be her future sugar-husband (Carlton, perhaps), though Mommy pointed out he had a girlfriend, to which BFF said he'd just dumped the ex because she wasn't a 10. Maybe BFF was a Boston 10 (I didn't get a great look), but I just couldn't imagine she was a 10 in very many zip codes. Plus, I couldn't imagine any girl trying to be a 10 for a guy who claims he deserves only a 10. Whatever, I'm sure they'll be happy.

Honesty, the conversation was just teens sounding rich and dumb until they spent a full 10 minutes talking about some social media star they both really liked who had gotten a nose job and now feels so much more confident and how pretty she was now (maybe a 10?) and who she was dating and what her career was and how old she is now and her sister and just so much nothing that I began imagining the situation I was in as one of those depictions of your own personal hell: stuck driving rich teen girls around and having to hear them discuss just about anything, hoping they won't talk at all. Just like Carlton will be thinking a few months into the marriage, wishing he'd stuck with that 9. 

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