Saturday, September 2, 2017

Superheroes From Florida

I was reading about Moxie Girl, a superhero from right here in Jacksonville, who gets her powers from her afro-puff hair style, and it got me to thinking. First, I have really thick hair, and I wondered what it would look like if I let it keep growing. I'd probably have the power to mop up oil spills with it. Next, I wondered about the local superheroes.


OK, as I mentioned, we have Moxie Girl, who celebrates self-acceptance. Actually, it's shampoo from her godmother that gives her hair powers. So it might be the shampoo as much as the hair. Moxie Girl is able to save the library from monsters who want to eat the books by taking off her afro puffs and throwing them at the monsters. The puffs always come back, like a boomerang. I am not sure what happens to the monsters hit by the puffs, but it works to save the library. I am also not sure which branch of the library is being saved. I've only been to Arlington and Pablo Creek myself.

Besides Moxie Girl, Florida has a few connections to Marvel and DC Comics. I apologize in advance to comic book people because I know little of these worlds. In my mind, it's all the same, but we'll start with Marvel because that's the tab I have open. Domino looks like an Emo kid with an eye patch. He's apparently from The Everglades. Wait, upon further clicking, he's a she. Her real name is Neenah Thurman. And she's more specifically from the Project Armageddon base in Florida. However, it looks like she left early in life to live in Chicago, and then like many mercenaries, she moved around quite a bit. Apparently, Domino was also part of the Six Pack team, many of whom were deported--to where, I don't know. Also, Domino fought against the Armajesuits. I am not sure whether or not the Catholic Church recognizes this off-shoot of Jesuits, but they sound dangerous. Marvel does not have any members from Georgia, in case you were wondering, but I counted at least 19 from New York.

DC Comics
Clark Kent attended the Siegel School of Journalism at Shuster College in Shusterville, Florida. A search of Google Maps indicates the closest thing to Shusterville is Sumterville, an unincorporated town roughly the same size as the adjoining Shady Brook Golf and RV Resort. It's south of The Villages. It's home to Sumter Career and Adult Ed, which offers degree programs in HVAC and Nursing. It seems possible that Mr. Kent padded his resume a bit.

Capitol City is a major city in Florida is where Clark Kent was an intern along with someone named Lana Lang. Is that for real? Clark Kent liked Lana Lang before Lois Lane? Just a reminder why I don't read comics. So Capitol City could be Tallahassee, but that's not close to Sumterville, so I'm thinking The Villages or Orlando. The city is also home to the office of The Bureau for Extra-Normal Matters. This is probably a secret office in The Villages. I did learn about Gibsonton, Florida while trying to find it, though. It's where the circus went for the winter, so this is what Wikipedia says about it:
It was home to Percilla the Monkey Girl, the Anatomical Wonder, and the Lobster Boy. Siamese twin sisters ran a fruit stand here. At one time, it was the only post office with a counter for dwarfs. Aside from the agreeable winter climate, Gibsonton offered unique circus zoning laws that allowed residents to keep elephants and circus trailers on their front lawns.
Tempest Key is the home to Arthur "AC" Curry, also known as Aquaman. He was a marine biology student at the University of Miami. While I am a bit surprised a fish-man really needed a degree in marine biology, his story does check out, since there is a marine biology program at the school. Aquaman also lived in New Venice, which is a partially submerged city in Florida. I assume New Venice was likely near Venice, in between Sarasota and Ft. Myers. However, Google Maps in satellite view did not afford me a view of the location.

Bruce Gordon, or Eclipso, is from Solar City, Florida. He's the incarnation of the wrath of God. You can't kill him, and he's got all kinds of powers, like
the ability to emit deadly rays of dark light from his left eye and a powerful burst of paralyzing black light from his right eye by looking through a shard of the Heart of Darkness gem.
That does make me wonder why he ever uses his right eye when he can just kill his enemies with his left. But where is Solar City? That's easy, as there's a Solar City, Inc., in Tampa. It sells solar energy equipment, but that could just be a front.

All in all, I'm pretty satisfied with the superheroes from Florida. I know, some folks in Florida will argue I left out Tebow or Dwight Howard, but I never saw either of them save a library. Wait, it looks like the Tim Tebow Foundation does some good stuff, so maybe he's kind of a superhero, like one who was drained of all his football powers but could do more good for others without them.

I know where you're going right now. Eclipso versus Tebow. Eclipso would ridicule his nemesis, calling him "INTebow." Maybe Moxie Girl and Aquaman would join the fight, too. But I'm not sure they'd stand a real chance without Superman. Clark Kent, not Dwight Howard.