Monday, December 18

Uses For Amazon Locker

Amazon Locker Jax

I saw my first Amazon Locker at a Speedway on Merril by the 295, and I was wondering what these electronic lockers are for. Instead of looking it up, let's just take some guesses at it, shall we?

Since it's Jacksonville, one might assume the main purpose for the locker is for firearm storage. It's safer than an unlocked car, but not nearly as convenient. I'm also not sure how quickly one would be able to retrieve the gun. However, the fact that it's in a convenience store parking lot does make robbing the gas station easier, assuming weapons are in these lockers like they were back in my high school.

I guess I'm not sure if these are storage units at all, like the ones at airports or museums.  What would you store at a Speedway? A spare key for your car? Motor oil? A change of clothing?

It could also be some kind matrix-like storage of frozen human brains. Maybe the shadow government people who have been running our world for years. It looks kind of like a Borg ship. It is right behind the refrigerators at the Speedway.

These lockers might also be for protection of Amazon deliveries from porch pirates. Akin to a Spanish Galleon on the high seas. Or a yellow submarine. However, most of the good stuff I get from Amazon would not fit in any of the slots of this locker, so maybe it's meant for small items like jewelery, which I don't tend to order. Except for all the time for my lovely wife.

OK, this is silly, I'm looking it up...

It's just an inconvenient way to get your Amazon order in a way that avoids it getting stolen. I could see where this might be more convenient as a return method, as long as your locker accepts returns and isn't full, which would be way stupid. It's also probably the best way to try to buy illegal stuff online--I'm not sure how, but it seems safer than having a pound of marijuana delivered to your home. Just say you're picking it up for a friend.

You might confuse Amazon Locker with Amazon Hub, which is the same thing but in apartment buildings. With a different name, probably because the locker name was lame and reminded too many people of awkwardly walking the halls in high school.

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