Friday, March 16

Here's Why People Don't Invite News Crews Into Homes

I've seen a lot of people who tell news reporters to leave them alone, and many others who won't show their faces in interviews. Sometimes, I think it's silly, especially if you were just being interviewed about some random crime in the Walmart parking lot. Then again, there might be a time when you should have remained anonymous, like when you invite the news crew into your home to check out the mold in your bathroom.

These people are upset because they have expensive and crappy D.R. Horton homes that are getting all moldy. I also own a D.R. Horton home, and I can honestly say that it's the cheapest construction of any home in which I've lived. It's also the newest home. Anyhow, these people in St. Johns county are having problems with leaky showers (ours had also leaked into the wall at some point). One person being interviewed said that it's not the homeowners' faults because of poor maintenance or housekeeping, and she was totally right in saying so. The damage looked bad, and it was obviously inside the wall.

However, if you're going to invite the news crew into your home to film your shower, make sure you've cleaned up, especially since local JAX news likes to show the same video clip three times in each story. This means that if you don't use a wet paper towel or vacuum, the entire Jacksonville viewing area will get to see your pubic hairs on the floor next to your shower three times. Just think about it for a second. You had one specific place in the entire house that those cameras would be pointed. You didn't have to do the dishes, make your bed, hide your hair dye, or even pick up your dirty socks. The camera was going to be pointed at one place only, and you left several short and curlies there for all of us to see.

Of course, as a normal human person, I started to wonder which of the neighbors being interviewed owned the home we were seeing. I know it wasn't any of the natural blondes' showers. I could only imagine what would happen if I let some news reporter in my house without cleaning the bathroom first. My wife would make us move to another area code.

Let's review. If you are going to be interviewed by the news, don't hide your face unless you are helping to identify a local murderer or you intend to invite the news crew into your hairy bathroom. Also, if all of your neighbors are getting interviewed together, make sure you have confidence in the housekeeping of the home that does get filmed, or else you might want to hide your face. Also, D.R. Horton builds cheap houses.

On a side note, a relative of mine just visited, and this person was apparently grossed out by the hair in our bathroom. The kids let us know (we weren't there). My wife took it pretty hard, especially since we'd done a fine job cleaning every other part of the house, forgetting to vacuum up all my ridiculous chest hairs that fall into the tub where we hang my towel. She's going to feel so much better to learn of the public humiliation of some stranger on TV. Thanks, Action News Jax.

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