Friday, November 9, 2018

Instead of Recount, Let's Do A Revote

I know it's not the law and it's not going to happen, but it's kind of interesting to note that we just approved voting rights to an extra 1.5 million voters in Florida ON the day that we had one of the most important votes in the last 50 years (I'm totally making that up...I am not a political analyst). It seemed important.



When women got the right to vote, it happened in August, 1920. Black men got the right to vote in February, 1870. How frustrating it must be to be granted the right to vote on the day that ends with recounts, unable to add your voice.

Except felons in Florida probably don't tend to follow politics very closely, at least not until the day after this particular election. Besides, the governor probably has to sign a decree of some sort to make it so. I read the greyhounds aren't being set free for another two years, so these amendments aren't immediate, apparently.

I guess we'll have to wait a couple of years to see what the Orange Wave does in Florida. The Blue Wave was more of a ripple in the Red Tide. If every ex-con would have voted for Darcy Richardson, she still would have lost to DeSantis and Gillum by 2.5 million votes...wait, Darcy is a dude. Sorry, man. HE still would have lost by over two million votes, but he would have made some noise. Actually, since Darcy's a guy, that means there were no women running for the top jobs in Florida. However, I'd wager a pleasant-looking woman might get the (probably) mostly male felons to rock the vote. Probably at least one million of them are men.

Most Floridians are cool with former felons voting, once they've paid their debt to society. And as long as they weren't convicted of murder or sex crimes. I have to wonder how many convicted murderers are free in Florida--I hope not too many. Maybe the murderers are all on parole from other states. Or from Canada, where people serve like five years for murder (OK, it’s 10-25 years). I suppose if we let murderers and sex offenders vote, we’d have to let the greyhounds vote.

I've watched Shawshank Redemption enough times to know that people want to be free enough to drink a beer and vote for the crook of their choice. And if I ever make a documentary about my own life, I want Morgan Freeman to do the voiceover. And always do your own taxes.

I just hope the new Orange Wave doesn’t push some kind of agenda to force me to get a head of household tattoo. Or legalize shivs. Other than that, it makes sense that free Americans can vote.