Friday, July 26

Opendoor Self-Tour Insanity

opendoor self tour insanity
I just drove past a new construction or fully-flipped home with a sign that said you can just walk right on in and tour the house. In Jacksonville! That's why I had to call it Self-Tour Insanity rather than instantly.

Fine, maybe in Charlotte or Indianapolis, you can just tell folks to download the app, use the (digital?) key, and tour the beautiful home in a civilized manner. But in Florida in general and Jacksonville in particular, self-touring of homes might require a little more security.

If something isn't bolted down in Jacksonville, it's pretty much up for grabs. If it is bolted down, then it's just a matter of time before someone brings a socket wrench. Local folks even looted Hemming Park during the fire of 1901, so I'm sure that new Whirlpool refrigerator will look like easy pickings.

I assume the house has cameras mounted at the door and maybe even in the home itself. And there's a sign up and whatnot. That still won't stop locals from trying to fill a uhaul with whatever's in the residence. Even light bulbs, I'd wager.

Back in Wisconsin, we had these mattress stores with no salespeople. Just an open door and mattresses, along with cameras and ordering kiosks. Here, you'd end up running a homeless shelter and have stolen computers to report. Property crime certainly occurred in the other places I've lived, but here it's just so much more brazen here, like the guys who loaded the Walmart claw game up in their pickup as if they were going to service it. Or all the people who seem to rob places and the walk away on foot. It's like there's almost no planning or imagination. Even out-of-town crews, like the hammer-time Town Center jewelry burglars, seem to take very little pride in advance planning.

So my assumption is that people will tour the home, have a friend download the app (probably not even on a burner phone or using an alternate ID), show up with a truck, and leave with appliances, doors, water heaters, light bulbs, ceiling fans, and probably kitchen sinks. If it's staged, furniture too. They'll get caught, of course, but it's going to happen, unless there's some added layer of security I'm missing. Like maybe every time a person visits the house, a realtor is deployed to be there within 15 minutes. That's not enough time to dismantle the place.

I would actually like Jacksonville to prove me wrong on this one. Maybe I misunderestimate my fellow Jacksonvillian. It might prove to be more work or risk than it's worth. I guess we'll have to find out.

Thanks for reading. See more of my content:

Satisfamily - Articles about being happy as a family
Passive Ninja - Web Design in Jacksonville
McNewsy - Creative Writing
Educabana - Educational Resources
Brave New Church - Church Website Design
Voucher School - Pros and Cons of School Vouchers
Luthernet - Web Design for Lutheran Churches
Sitcom Life Lessons - What we've learned from sitcoms
Mancrush Fanclub - Why not?
Epic Folktale - Stories of the unknown
Wild West Allis - Every story ever told about one place
Educabana on Teachers Pay Teachers (mostly ELA lessons)
Real Wisconsin News - Satire from Wisconsin
Zoo Interchange Milwaukee - Community website
Chromebook Covers - Reviews and opinions

Brian Jaeger - Resume (I'm always interested)

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