Friday, February 12

Jax Local Ad of the Week: Milano's for Valentine's Day


Local ads can be fun because they are not always as polished as national ad campaigns. This is the first in a series that will take a look at some local ads from mailer magazines.

Support local businesses, even if their ads weird you out a little.

My wife enjoys Milano's, and we have used the restaurant's promotions in the past. And if it wasn't for a pandemic, we might have done the Valentine's Day Special, even with it being presented in this somewhat odd ad.

The Couple
I know, it's a photo and not real life, but when I take my special lady out, I tend to sit across from her. And on the rare occasion I get her flowers, I get a bouquet. This scene seems a lot more like a blind date or a pickup attempt at the bar. That's assuming he's actually holding the rose, which isn't as clear as I'd initially thought. Also, his body seems to disappear in the lower half of the photo, while hers does not. Is he a ghost? Maybe, especially when you see that her eyes seem to be looking to the left of where he is located. Perhaps she's a widow on her first date (or a bottle-o-Pinot bender) after losing her husband to a facial grooming accident. And the rose isn't even there, but she can still smell roses, which reminds her of poor Chuck even as she dons her flirtiest red dress to meet Tad from Ponte Vedra for drinks and something more?

The Heart Deals
The main meal special is a decent value, especially considering I spent twice as much last year at a fancy new Five Points spot and felt like they weren't even trying. My only concern, as a real Don Juan myself, is that Milano's chose to serve standard garlic bread (which is tasty) as part of the Valentine's Day meal special. Sure, a bottle of wine will help, but cheesy bread would have been a more romance-ensuring option.
The second heart at the top says that it's Happy Hour "all day everyday [sic]." Grammarians might point out that "every day" should be two words in this case, but that's a common mistake that doesn't bother me much. My concern is that extending happy hour to two or three hours is bending the rules, but saying that it's all the time basically says that there is no happy hour in the first place, thus desecrating the very concept of skipping out of the office early to get your booze on before the dinner rush shows up. Also, having a heart around such a pronouncement seems a bit alcoholicy.

Be sure to eat at Milano's whenever you feel safe venturing out. Or just show up for a late-breakfast happy hour special with a deceased loved one.

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