Thursday, September 7

Clay County Dad Has Made One-Third of Book Complaints in State, Should Probably Homeschool

I'm not a huge proponent of homeschool. I think kids should have the social interaction of school and they benefit from the different teachers. But I'd like to make a suggestion to the whiney dad in Clay County that the world would probably be a better place if he homeschooled his little darlings.

I believe everyone in our country has the right to a free, public, liberal arts education. However, if a child is too violent, that child eventually gives up his right to that education. Or if a child skips school so often that he can't perform the work required to pass, then he also gives up the right. And if a parent makes a third of all the complaints in an entire state against using books at his kids' school, he also gives up the right. Why? In all the cases, it's about what's good for the many versus what's good for the few. If we let a violent kid continue to beat up his classmates, those other kids are negatively affected. And if we pass kids to the next grade level who don't earn the grades, the school's reputation and the value of the education earned by classmates suffers. And a parent who wastes time and resources just so he can prove how much he doesn't trust the decisions made by the school board elected by the many is just as much a nuisance to the school district.

Maybe no one has thought to ask this guy to pull his kids out of the school district. They might be worried he'd submit a complaint form if they do. But I don't really care, so I'll ask him to send his kids elsewhere. Like home. Online school doesn't have a library, so that's an option. Or, since he's such an expert, he can just teach the kids himself. He probably has a real doll of a wife who could handle it if he has to go off to work. And if they both work, then maybe a classical academy is the right setting, although he might be surprised how many classical books were written by homosexuals or how many classical paintings depict naked people, sometimes engaged in homosexual activities. Or send the kids to a private school and then join the school board there in order to police the staff. I mean, who has time to research all the books your kids' school might have? And does this guy's employer know how he spends half of his work day? Take it from a dad who has embarrassed his kids a few times: stop. Just strip-search your kids every day after school before you lock them in the dog kennels in their bedrooms in order to make sure they're not reading books about gay penguins. Or use the book about gay penguins in a teachable moment about why sodemny is wrong or why book-banning is so good.

Honestly, if this dad needs a new hobby, they exist. He could volunteer at the schools to maybe do lunch duty or monitor recess. He could help distribute food to those less fortunate or help them find meaningful employment so they aren't taking food from his family. He could distribute Bibles in North Korea. Lots of stuff. People would like you more if you had a meaningful hobby, or even an unmeaningful one, like watching the grass in your yard grow or racing RC boats in your pond. Or drinking heavily. Or sexy-time with the wife. But the best hobby would be to write a series of children's books that would be appropriate for all kids. Most brilliant and self-important people are amazingly creative and talented, which means writing several books for kids ought to be a snap.

So, to recap, I hope this dad sends his kids elsewhere with school choice vouchers and finds a new way to annoy others, maybe even a blog.

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