Wednesday, November 1

No, You Can't Help Me, B^π¢#

I thought my neighbor was high-strung for coming out and asking about the car I had temporarily parked (partially) in front of her house, but this Karen down by the Beaches took it up a notch. I pulled in front of her house, which was right next door to where my son was attending a Halloween party. I stopped my car, with the engine running, to wait for him to come out of the house next door, and this lady comes at me with a sassy "Can I help you?" 

I ignored her because why should I bother and also my son was calling me, so I answered the phone, and she budded in with another, "Can I help you?" And I start thinking that she must really think I need help or think that her asking me if I need help is really going to scare me away from sitting in front of her house on a public street. So I tell her I'm waiting for my son, but I basically don't give her any more info than that, because I can and will stop my car on a public street when necessary. 

I understand that there are a lot of creeps out there, and maybe someone broke into Karen's husband's pickup last month, but this was Halloween night with a bunch of parties happening. Also, I was driving my little convertible, and not some vehicle that should have been suspicious, like a rusty white van. Also, she was wearing a cat outfit. I know that is not evidence of anything; just an interesting detail.

Within a couple of minutes, my son is outside and on his way to my car. That's when I see Mr. Concerned Husband coming out to check out my car because he didn't just tell his catty Karen wife to go scratch a fence post. Mr. Concerned Husband never says anything to me, which he probably got yelled at for, since I saw catty Karen out in the driveway monitoring his interaction with me.

I totally believe that people have the right to protect their property, and I'm sorry that catty Karen has had some problems in the past, but coming at someone like she did probably won't fix the past. In fact, I remember exactly where she lives. If she would have treated me like that back when I was a teenager, her house would have suffered the consequences nightly for at least a week. I know it's your castle and all, but it's probably a good idea to avoid pissing off strangers right in front of your house. And maybe catty Karen was a guest at the party rather than the owner of the house, which actually makes a lot more sense now, especially if she doesn't really like the owner of the house because she stole her idea for a costume that made her look sexy but not like a total slut. So I guess what I'm saying is "No, B^π¢#, you can't help me. But thanks for asking."

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