Wednesday, April 15

Coronavirus Family Activity: Themed Outings

all black mercedes g class
When I saw the all-black Mercedes G Wagon, I thought to myself, "Now there's someone who likes black." I kind of get it with Dodge trucks, since you have to do something to try to make them more desirable, but I wasn't quite sure where Mercedes was going with a $100,000+ Jeep knockoff that also stole the idea of adding dirty-looking wheels to the mix. I digress, and I apologize to the black wheel owners, as you have legitimatized my all-black steel wheels from my 92 Chevy Cavalier, as if I was ahead of my time. This article is about a theme when you venture out during Covid-19, not about my thoughts on all-black wheels. However, your vehicle of choice probably plays a big role in your themed outing right now, as evidenced by this all-black beauty.

I was prepared to simply believe that someone's husband or teenage son influenced the aesthetics of the driver's vehicle purchase. (I could tell, barely, that a woman was driving). I figured maybe her husband is a fan of the Raiders or funeral processions. Or Knight Rider. Or maybe the woman sold lots of candles or purses at "parties" with friends. Maybe there's a purse brand that only sells in black. 

(Here's a list of top direct sales companies that may or may not give away Mercedes Benzes: Modicare, Tiens International, Isagenix International, Natura Cosmeticos, Forever Living Pr., Nu Skin, Herbalife, Amore Pacific, Avon, and Amway. I know Mary Kay has those Pink Cadillacs and Arbonne does white Benzos. I suppose that if you want others to believe you are in some kind of direct selling scheme, then choosing an all-black Mercedes would do the job.)

I'm not altogether sure this woman was part of some kind of pyramid business opportunity. Or that she even wanted the all-black G Wagon. However, when I saw her emerge from the vehicle, I knew she had fully bought into the all-black look, at least for her outing to the grocery store. See the image:
Yes, I added the mask to hide the woman's true identity, but the rest of the all-black outfit is all hers. All-black shirt, all-black yoga pants, and almost-all-black Louis Vuitton Bag and Nikes. Actually, this was taken pre-CDC-face mask-recommendation, so she probably has a Louis Vuitton face mask now. Or a ninja mask, which would make her more of an all-black superhero. Like Black Ice. Or Black Widow...wait. She may have an all-black cell phone, but I can't tell for sure. Blondish hair with all-black roots, but I won't tell. 

An all-black theme is probably one many of us can create, even if we don't have the vehicles to match. I might put on my Sunny Boy blonde wig and cruise around in my convertible. Maybe wear that bridesmaid dress you've saved for no reason out to the supermarket. Or that Blake Bortles jersey with some Zubas (which is what Blake himself is wearing now). You can be subtle or over-the-top, but entertaining yourself is the important part here. Just be careful not to take the Ninja outfit too far and add throwing stars or any other illegal weapons, though this is Florida, so all weapons might be legal. I'm not sure because I'm not a doctor, but I might dress like one for my next grocery run. 

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