New Covid-19 Florida Dashboard

The lady who got fired from working on the official Florida Covid-19 Dashboard has create one of her own. Here's the link. Since I am merely a web designer (and not an infectious disease doctor), all I can say is that it's a nicer website than the actual government one, and it works better on my phone.

Since the numbers are way higher than the actual officially released ones, you'll have to decide who is right. Also, I assume someone who thinks the whole pandemic is a hoax may create another alternative dashboard with 0 total deaths or something like that.

A lot of the comments on the site talk about the importance of truth. I agree, but I also really hope with my fingers crossed that our government would be truthful. Sometimes, truth from the government does require some prodding, so I am fine with this alternative reality. If the new site is wrong, the government should have no trouble refuting the numbers with evidence. If the new site is correct, I hope the government adjusts its own numbers, even if means scaring people a bit. 

Here's a list of some of the people who have succomed to Covid-19 as given in the new website. It was kind of powerful for me to be able to read these short descriptions because it represents a diverse group.

List of COVID-19 Victims

37-year-old Male in Dade County, who was first diagnosed or tested 3/8/2020 and became an official case after DOH received positive lab results 3/14/2020.

 

48-year-old Female in Putnam County, who was first diagnosed or tested 3/11/2020 and became an official case after DOH received positive lab results 4/23/2020.

 

59-year-old Female in Palm Beach County, who was first diagnosed or tested 3/6/2020 and became an official case after DOH received positive lab results 3/14/2020.

 

68-year-old Male in Sumter County, who was first diagnosed or tested 3/16/2020 and became an official case after DOH received positive lab results 3/18/2020.

 

65-year-old Male in Broward County, who was first diagnosed or tested 3/11/2020 and became an official case after DOH received positive lab results 3/15/2020.

 

27-year-old Female in Broward County, who was first diagnosed or tested 3/4/2020 and became an official case after DOH received positive lab results 3/13/2020.

 

68-year-old Female in Broward County, who was first diagnosed or tested 3/1/2020 and became an official case after DOH received positive lab results 3/10/2020.

 

68-year-old Female in Alachua County, who was first diagnosed or tested 3/4/2020 and became an official case after DOH received positive lab results 3/10/2020.

 

63-year-old Male in Dade County, who was first diagnosed or tested 2/23/2020 and became an official case after DOH received positive lab results 3/24/2020.

 

74-year-old Male in Palm Beach County, who was first diagnosed or tested 3/6/2020 and became an official case after DOH received positive lab results 3/13/2020.

 

28-year-old Male in Dade County, who was first diagnosed or tested 3/9/2020 and became an official case after DOH received positive lab results 3/15/2020.

 

42-year-old Male in Dade County, who was first diagnosed or tested 3/12/2020 and became an official case after DOH received positive lab results 3/14/2020.

 

41-year-old Male in Orange County, who was first diagnosed or tested 3/10/2020 and became an official case after DOH received positive lab results 3/13/2020.

 

67-year-old Male in Lee County, who was first diagnosed or tested 3/12/2020 and became an official case after DOH received positive lab results 3/17/2020.

 

30-year-old Female in Collier County, who was first diagnosed or tested 3/9/2020 and became an official case after DOH received positive lab results 3/19/2020.

 

43-year-old Female in Dade County, who was first diagnosed or tested 3/7/2020 and became an official case after DOH received positive lab results 3/16/2020.

 

57-year-old Male in Duval County, who was first diagnosed or tested 3/3/2020 and became an official case after DOH received positive lab results 3/15/2020.

 

47-year-old Female in Osceola County, who was first diagnosed or tested 3/9/2020 and became an official case after DOH received positive lab results 3/16/2020.

 

95-year-old Female in Dade County, who was first diagnosed or tested 6/2/2020 and became an official case after DOH received positive lab results 6/3/2020.

 

36-year-old Female in Dade County, who was first diagnosed or tested 4/1/2020 and became an official case after DOH received positive lab results 4/2/2020.

 

76-year-old Female in Palm Beach County, who was first diagnosed or tested 3/15/2020 and became an official case after DOH received positive lab results 3/16/2020.

 

20-year-old Female in Broward County, who was first diagnosed or tested 2/26/2020 and became an official case after DOH received positive lab results 3/15/2020.

 

53-year-old Male in Sarasota County, who was first diagnosed or tested 3/10/2020 and became an official case after DOH received positive lab results 3/19/2020.

 

47-year-old Male in Hillsborough County, who was first diagnosed or tested 2/28/2020 and became an official case after DOH received positive lab results 3/14/2020.

 

78-year-old Female in Okaloosa County, who was first diagnosed or tested 3/4/2020 and became an official case after DOH received positive lab results 3/17/2020.

 

Karen Protests For Justice in San Marco, So Now We're Good

[I began writing this article BEFORE Mayor Lenny Curry participated in a march led by Leonard Fournette and decided to simultaneously begin dismantling Confederate monuments in Jax. More on that at the end.] 

I am in favor of being able to protest for something in which you believe. I don't tend to do it myself, but that doesn't mean I think it's wrong, unless someone tosses a Molotov Cocktail onto my car. Luckily, that's never happened to me. Anyhow, I saw that there was a squeaky clean protest in San Marco. Karen was there. Dougie E Doug Marrone was there. Probably OK Boomer and a several others. So it was mainstream and nice. Maybe like going to a farmers market. That's why I ask myself the following questions. Does this mean something is really going to change? Does it mean those with relative power expressed some empathy and now it's all good? Does it mean people are just really bored right now?

Wanna Get Flamed on NextDoor in Jacksonville? Suggest Masks

A neighbor went to a local ice cream shop where none of the employees were wearing masks, so she posted that she did not order anything and asked if anyone knew the manager. She wasn't really irate or mean-spirited in her post, just saying she was surprised that the business had no mask policy on Mothers' Day, 2020. We learn later in the post that she has a family member who has contracted the virus and another one who works at a hospital, which she mentions after some of the comments.

Let's take a look at some of the responses our neighbor received for asking about the sanitary conditions at a local eatery:

Speak with your wallet and just leave it at that....

This means, of course, don't eat there. Of course, the woman had already said she didn't eat there, but this post basically says don't eat there AND shut your mouth about it.

I don't have a problem with it.

I'm not sure adding this statement adds anything to the discussion. But it's also not mean.

This poor squirrel wasnt wearing a mask in public. Look at what happened to him 😢

One guy decided that a dead squirrel would be a humorous way to ridicule the mask-wearing people, I guess. A few more people commented on the dead squirrel. I assume that the idea here is that masks don't really protect anyone, since cars will still run you over. While it's true that masks can't protect pedestrians on Beach Boulevard, they actually do help to prevent the spread of viruses.

Stay away and keep your family safe so the rest of us can go there and enjoy their delicious ice cream - in peace

I guess this one is meant to say that people who complain make life difficult for the rest of us who want to enjoy our food prepared without masks during a pandemic. It's like when my wife makes me leave the room so that she can watch a Hallmark Channel Christmas movie - in peace. 

Living your life in fear will kill you quicker than experiencing life to its fullest. Just sayin.

The logic here is flawed. Yes, if you live every day in debilitating paranoia, that's probably not good for your health. However, the original post didn't seem to come from someone who was living in fear. In fact, she had ventured out on Mothers' Day. I am apprehensive of riding a motorcycle, and I can therefore guaranty you that I will not die while riding one, but it's not like I dwell on NOT riding daily. But I might shake my head when I see someone speeding past me at 100mph on McCormick. And my fear still won't kill me, unless I swerve to miss the crotch rocket and swerve again to miss a squirrel and then again to miss a pedestrian crossing outside of a crosswalk and crash into a tree.

Bottom lines is if anyone disagrees with how someone runs their business.... just don’t go That simple . America is about personal freedom and the right to choose. Consequences be what they are

Good, a bottom line for all of us to learn from. The problem with this reasoning is that during an outbreak, we are all kind of responsible to each other. It's not the same thing as whether or not a business owner comes out against homosexuality or in favor of gun control. I've seen all the virus outbreak, zombie apocalypse movies, and high school health class videos, so I am an authority on the spread of disease. 

Then don’t go there!!! Stay home and don’t go out. This whole thing is BS trying till kill our economy..

I am not sure who really wants to kill the economy. I guess the mindset would be that Demoncrats will win in elections if they can prove the president didn't take the virus seriously. However, that also would mean that any country with liberals in power (and also experiencing the pandemic) will also decide to vote against the party in power. I can see this kind of tactic working in North Korea, maybe, where there's no outside news. Even if you believe that this is nothing more than the flu, then it's the flu in every country on earth, and I don't think that every opposition party in every country really wants to ruin the global economy in order to win elections. 

You all make me sick. Keyboard warriors; with your nose so far in everyone's business and trying to cry to someone and get your way and have things changed to how you want them...then disguise it by saying you're trying to save the world and be the bigger person. Good lord-get a hobby

I wish that I had more hobbies right now. I'm stuck reading NextDoor posts for entertainment. The point here is that the folks who wear masks are trying to both getting in other people's business (to NOT wear masks) and crying to get their way. These people, apparently, simply love masks. I have worn a mask for several hours in a row, so I can attest that no one loves wearing them. I don't like the way they make me feel or the way they make other people look. I freaking hate masks, but I'm willing to wear mine in order to protect others and myself. I don't want there to be universal mask laws forever, and even if that was proven to be the best course of action, I still would not like it. 

You really think a mask makes ANY difference at all?

This comment led into a debate about science. If you are dumb enough to ask this question, then I just shake my head in your general direction. Even really stupid people can admit that masks do, in fact, make a difference when it comes to the transmission of a virus. Masks are not 100% effective, and there's some truth to the notion that people become overconfident, but even most flat-earthers and climate-change-deniers will agree that a face covering makes a difference. For those of you on the fence, consider the purpose of the masks I own--I bought them when I refinished my wood floors to keep dust particles out of my nose and mouth. Even though you can't see a virus, and it's smaller than wood dust, the principal is the same. Even if ALL masks do is keep us from touching our own mouths and noses, that's still something.

You don’t have to eat there. They can do what they want

This comment is probably fairly consistent with the general mindset in Jax. Consider this, however: government (even for the most conservative people) has public safety as one of its core responsibilities. Police, firefighters, paramedics, disaster relief, etc. We don't need government to dictate how we live generally, but a pandemic qualifies as one of those moments when we as individuals should probably pay attention. So during that time, if the government says that people serving food must wear masks, then that should be what those people do. However, since our government response has been a patchwork of rules and exceptions, I myself do not know if this ice cream shop was or was not following either rules or even guidance by the entity with our safety as its main tenant. If there were no restrictions, then it does become a simple case of eating where you feel comfortable.

Everything on here turns into a controversial post. this app is called next door and I'm glad I don't live next door to a lot of you. Most of you never have anything nice to say at all... You're just mean and cowardly

I just liked this post, even if it's not really targeting one side or the other. We've gotten so used to trolling on news sites and responding to famous people on Twitter or even distant relatives on Facebook that we forget that those are real people. NextDoor is an app that shows real names and probably even addresses, and a lot of people treat it as if they are flaming a Politico article. Forget about the neighbor dog crapping on your lawn when you can see what he thinks about wearing face masks on NextDoor. And also forget about discussing real ideas with one another over a beer. 

In case you were wondering, the ice cream place is Bruster's on Atlantic. I went there with my family about a week after these posts, and the 20-or-so teens inside were definitely not wearing masks. We still ordered ice cream and social distanced. I told my wife that all the kids working there are probably making out with each other after work, so it's not like face masks are going to stop the spread of Covid-19 (or herpes) among the crew. The situation did make us uncomfortable, and I commend the original NextDoor writer for taking a stand and leaving, but we had also not had any decent ice cream in two months, so we went for it. If you want to support or boycott Bruster's for political reasons, feel free. As for me, I'm just hoping my ice cream didn't come with a topping of Coronavirus. Or herpes.

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Rosa Parks Homeless Park?

Rosa Parks Homeless Park

I've driven past the Rosa Parks Transit Station several times since it closed, and I noticed that quite a few homeless individuals line the streets nearby. Since a bus terminal is an eyesore already, and this one is just fenced off, I was wondering if maybe we'd be better off just combining two eyesores into one, making the Rosa Parks Homeless Park out of the bus station. 

A Month Later, Still No Federal Unemployment in Florida

I quit a job as a teacher just before Covid-19 hit because I figured I couldn't stay safe in the classroom with my rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis (and all the meds I was taking to suppress my immune system). Of course, that was two weeks before schools closed for the year. Oh well, not a big deal, right? Even if I don't technically qualify for Florida's rinky-dink unemployment, at least I'd be getting the $600 from the federal government to help cover the Lyft and Uber rides I was not taking to avoid getting and spreading the virus. After trying hundreds of times, I sent my unemployment form in the mail. A month later, I got an email telling me to log into the same broken-down Connect system in order to submit myself to more torture, since it's still broken-down as of May 20th.

Profiles in Courage: Too Cool Cal From California

I picked up this guy from California who mostly just coughed his way through the ride, so I didn't get to know him real well. I am sure that's for the best. I like to have a positive opinion of my riders, if at all possible, but you know how first impressions go. It's sad when you end up with a lasting negative impression of someone, but I think some people try really hard to make sure that's exactly what you get. And it was more than just a little coughing (actually, a lot of coughing) that caused my impression, albeit not that much more. 

I suppose this guy probably has a chip on his shoulder about something. Since he told me he was a truck mechanic, I assume he probably went to work doing that rather than going to college. And there's nothing wrong with that, but maybe some people have made him feel inferior because of it, and that's why he wants to portray himself as someone to be reckoned with. Like I said, he barely said two words to me, but what he did say was plenty. 

As we were in the Avenues Mall parking lot, he slathered himself in cologne. He apologized for doing it and causing my car to smell like a pheromone factory, but he said the ladies liked it. "And I gotta get some booty," he added. So this guy was heading to the mall, where teenagers and young moms hang out, and that's when he decides to pull out the big guns. Pitbull Man, perhaps. Then again, he was a little older than he was pretending to be, so maybe he was still rockin the Axe body spray. Apparently, body and auto interior spray.

So Too Cool Cal was going to the mall to look for some beautiful babies because the high schools were closed, apparently. And I can respect his game, since all the bars and libraries are closed, so the mall probably does become the best place to cruise for hotties. So far, he's not really all that bad, I guess. Probably most guys on a two-day vacay to Jacksonville are crawling the malls for some bootay. I assume he didn't know about the Town Center, and I'm glad I didn't suggest it earlier in the conversation, before he'd divulged his intentions to cruise for teenagers at The Avenues. 

Anyhow, Too Cool Cal was kind of an amoral sleazeball, but he's was just representin his home state. I know, I know, this is Florida. But people here are at least a little nicer about their lack of moral judgement, and they probably say "I appreciate it" as they carjack you. And "Yes, Sir," if you ask if you're being carjacked. Too Cool Cal, on the other hand, decided to tell me a little story as he left the vehicle to comb the food court for tasty treats, letting me know that it's great to be on vacation and to be rich, as he'd recently sold his business to a family member for $400,000. I told him that was great, and I'm sure it's the line he uses to get all the babes (in case the Pitbull perfume doesn't do the trick). The problem is that I wasn't looking for a one-night stand with Too Cool Cal, so telling me he's taking a vacation with $400,000 only means that he's declaring himself the winner in a pissing contest that started at the moment he told me about his happiness. Obviously, a Lyft driver isn't going to compete with that, with my main asset depreciating as fast as the money I make using it for rides. 

The lesson here, for those who are as socially dimwitted as Too Cool Cal, is that you should not degrade women (or chase teenagers) as objects, even if you think your driver is your brah. And you shouldn't brag about all your money, even if you are planning on giving that driver a decent tip. In this particular case, Cal didn't send a tip my way, which makes him look even smaller. He said it was good I had the AC running because other drivers did not, he used my usb charger for his device, and I even went to the trouble of asking someone where the best entrance to the mall would be for him. Actually, I only heard about his getting teen booty and newfound fortune because I went to the extra effort of not dropping him off at the first set of doors, from whence he would have had to have walked about 1/4 mile to the open doors. Just remember that everyone out there is forming opinions of you when they meet you. This guy just annoyed me with his annoying confidence, probably based in reality, but still annoying, especially when he thinks all I wanted from him was to bask in his second-hand coolness. Not good enough, Brah. 

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Getting Accepted to Every College

When I saw the article about a local Jacksonville student getting accepted to all the Ivy League colleges, I assumed he was a very good student who lacked some direction or guidance. Heck, I applied to at least two colleges back in the day, just to have a back up. And I probably should have made it a third, since I did end up going to a local commuter college rather than one where I could play football and be a big man on campus. So I kind of understand applying to several universities, just in case something doesn't work out. If your goal is to attend an Ivy League school, and it really doesn't matter which one, then I guess applying to all of them is a good idea. Then it's just a bonus if you get accepted to all of them, and you can spend a little more time deciding. I am sure there are plenty of stories of students who have applied to every Ivy League college and not gotten into ANY of them. Sure, no one really wants Cornell when you could have Harvard, Princeton, or Yale, but it's probably an OK backup plan.

Mountain Style Home in Jacksonville?

I was surprised to see a vacant lot for sale about a mile away from my house because it's in a neighborhood with homes built in the 1990s. What was even more surprising, however, was the description that began with:

Great opportunity to build a mountain style home on this attractive lot.

Watch Out For Local Truck For Sale Scam

I was talking to someone who was admiring my new vehicle. In the conversation, she told me she had nearly been scammed out of $800 in a deal for a truck that was too good to be true. Luckily, she pulled the plug on the deal because she discussed it with others who helped her to see the truth. I started thinking that there are likely a lot of people who are social distancing and not able to ask friends for advice, making them more susceptible to scams. Let's take a look at how this truck scam works.

Drunken Army Vet With a Bad Attitude Tests My Patience

Sometimes, you can't really win, so it's best just to play along. I got a Lyft ride call recently for a guy, we'll call him G.I. Joe, who called almost as soon as I accepted the ride. He started complaining about how he'd been dropped off and was waiting at a bus stop. I told him I just got the call, so it wasn't really my fault. When I got to the bus stop, he was smoking a cigarette and drinking booze out of a tumbler. Luckily, he threw out the cigarette and got in, but he didn't have to tell me (though he did) that he was blind drunk at noon. 

LyftUber In-Car Electronic Conversation Starter

I am not always the best at starting conversations, but I am pretty adept at talking once I get going. That's why I decided to create a slide show for my rideshare vehicle. I'll go through a bit of what I wanted to create and how I ended up getting it done.

Please Won't You Be My Neighbor

My neighbors next door just moved out, and I am looking for a responsible family to move in. Here's what I'm looking for in my new neighbor, even though it's not my rental property and I don't have any real say in who lives there.

VW Biogenic Air Filter and Coronavirus

Let's say you have a VW (or probably lots of other makes) with a cabin air filter. It might even be called "Air Care Climatronic" or something fancy-sounding. You might be wondering if it filters out Covid-19 and the best settings to use in order to do so. Unfortunately, I am not a doctor with access to the coronavirus for testing, but I do have some suggestions based on general science and unsubstantiated opinion.

2008 Saab 9-3 - My First Lyft Uber Vehicle

I was kind of thrust into driving rideshare because I had to buy a newer car when my last one broke, and then I left my job because I kind of broke, which left me with bills to pay (for the car) and the ability to pay those bills by driving. The problem is that with an older Saab, you're going to have to set aside money for the repairs. So even though my 2008 Saab 9-3 has been OK, I would not necessarily recommend it as a Lyft or Uber vehicle. 

That Gasoline Smell on Jax Roads

Since I'm driving around Jacksonville a lot more recently, I have noticed something that makes me kind of ill. At least once per day, I get behind a vehicle that smells of gasoline, and I kind of wonder why. The smell isn't coming exclusively from old pickup trucks, though old pickups almost always smell like something is wrong with them. (I tell my kids that an old Dodge smells like gas, an old Ford smells like oil, and an old Chevy smells like gas and oil.) In Jacksonville, it seems that decade-old compact cars, newish SUVs, pickups, delivery vans, motorcycles, and everything in between, often emit a gassy smell.

Coronavirus Family Activity: Themed Outings

When I saw the all-black Mercedes G Wagon, I thought to myself, "Now there's someone who likes black." I kind of get it with Dodge trucks, since you have to do something to try to make them more desirable, but I wasn't quite sure where Mercedes was going with a $100,000+ Jeep knockoff that also stole the idea of adding dirty-looking wheels to the mix. I digress, and I apologize to the black wheel owners, as you have legitimatized my all-black steel wheels from my 92 Chevy Cavalier, as if I was ahead of my time. This article is about a theme when you venture out during Covid-19, not about my thoughts on all-black wheels. However, your vehicle of choice probably plays a big role in your themed outing right now, as evidenced by this all-black beauty.

Everyone's Home and Everyone's Annoyed on NextDoor -- Here's a Fix

Before I write about this one, I want to remind people that you can turn off notifications in NextDoor. It makes the platform a bit more hit or miss if you do that, but then you don't get roped into what you don't want to read. That's what I do for Facebook, anyhow: no notifications, and then I'll spy on people once a year to see what's been going on. I'd recommend the no-notification route rather than just getting rid of any social media or NextDoor, since you never know when you might want to actually contact your neighbors.

Coronavirus Family Activity: Line Exercise

Working out in line during Covid-19

You might think that social distancing and time stuck in your house will negatively impact your ability to do workouts, but you don't have to rush online to get the $10,000 home gym just yet. One local was able to get a full exercise routine completed by simply going to get groceries.

Coronavirus Family Activity: Find Church Online

We already have a local church, so we're not looking to replace our home church. In fact, we already started online giving years ago, so our church isn't losing anything in our searching around a bit. If your church is having technical difficulties putting together an online presence right now, you've probably searched for something else. Don't feel guilty about it. This is a weird time, and it makes sense that you're searching for answers.

Coronavirus Family Activity: Turn Your Garage into a ... GARAGE

One of the only real activities most of us have right now is going for a walk. Since most homes are now packed with people, even during the day, the walks I go on result in the need to weave past vehicles parked over the sidewalks in driveways. It seems like many homes have in-laws or other refugees living with them, so our neighborhood feels like it's bursting at the seams. While it might seem like now is a good time to re-purpose your garage into another living space, allow me to suggest you turn it into a garage.

Coronavirus Family Activity: Start a Blog

Here's a fun family activity that can lead to you going less nuts at home: create a blog. It's really pretty simple, and it could help you hit the ground running after the Covid-19 crisis is over. I'll go through some of the how's and why's here, on my own blog.

Satan to Pay Rick Scott For Connect Reemployment System

Satan enjoys tormenting souls

When I read that Rick Scott spent $77.9 million for the Connect system, I wanted to know how one goes about procuring a contract like that. In its current form, no state would pay $77.90 for such a system. I wish the state would pay me for the hours I spent trying to submit my unemployment, but I guess the whole point of the system to prevent any payments from ever being made. Since the horrendous experience is fresh in my mind, I'll go through a few of the intricacies that made the Connect system worthy of the Prince of Darkness.

Coronavirus Family Activity: Filing For Unemployment Like it's 1999

[UPDATE] This article was originally written before Captain Ron DeSantis said the problem was fixed by adding 70 servers and probably spending hundreds of thousands of dollars. However, I had the exact same problems AFTER the fix that was supposed to increase the capacity by so much. Great job, Florida.

If you want to see a time machine, head on over to Florida's Department of Economic Opportunity website, and the Connect pages you need to use to file for unemployment. I assume the website was developed back around the time Al Gore invented the internet, and that was the case well before the Covid-19 crisis.

Did DeSantis Just Reopen Churches?

Buried in all the Safer at Home orders today was a nugget that I almost couldn't believe. First, Jacksonville jumped the gun to issue a local order that apparently kept ammo shops open as an essential business, though I did not see the local Jax order on churches, most of which had already gone totally online.

The article I found about the Jacksonville order was updated to follow the national list of essential businesses, since the state order was said to follow the national list. Sorry, gun shops (I think). But there was still the first DeSantis Safer at Home order I saw that appeared to keep open or reopen churches, as long as people practice social distancing.

Churches are totally and completely non-essential, especially when we can get our services online. Yes, people are worried and scared, and maybe pastors could spend their free time calling members, but allowing church services to go on is the wrong decision. Plagues over the years never stopped at church doors, and this virus will not be kept out of services in Florida. 

I'm hoping the opening of churches was a typo. If not, just don't go. It's probably one of the best places to spread disease, especially to older people. You can read the Bible and watch the services at home.

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Satisfamily - Articles about being happy as a family
Passive Ninja - Web Design in Jacksonville
McNewsy - Creative Writing
Educabana - Educational Resources
Brave New Church - Church Website Design
Voucher School - Pros and Cons of School Vouchers
Luthernet - Web Design for Lutheran Churches
Sitcom Life Lessons - What we've learned from sitcoms
Mancrush Fanclub - Why not?
Epic Folktale - Stories of the unknown
Wild West Allis - Every story ever told about one place
Educabana on Teachers Pay Teachers (mostly ELA lessons)
Real Wisconsin News - Satire from Wisconsin
Zoo Interchange Milwaukee - Community website
Chromebook Covers - Reviews and opinions

Brian Jaeger - Resume (I'm always interested)

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Coronavirus Family Activity: Decorate for Easter / Puzzles

This is a dual activity for your family during the Covid-19 outbreak. Since no one should be visiting your house, this is your chance to decorate it however you want. This might include the most ridiculous Easter decorations, but it might also include setting up a puzzle or activity table right there in the living room. No one cares. The Queen of England is not coming over to inspect your house, so take this chance to live like it.

Coronavirus Family Activity: Camping Out

I'll begin this with my usual diatribe about why I hate camping. The human race has spent ions perfecting our dominion over nature, so why would I want to be sweaty/dirty/freezing/smelly/buggy/sleepless? I wouldn't, but I camped out for several years because my son wanted to be in Cub Scouts. Covid-19 and staying at home has provided our family with the perfect opportunity to use our camping equipment, even if not all of us actually spend the night in the tent. 

Coronavirus Family Activity: Walk a New Neighborhood

Even if you are being forced to shelter in place, you have to get outside. Eventually, you might not venture any further than your own yard, but if there aren't strict rules, you can at least take a walk through your neighborhood. The only problem with having a dog who loves long walks is that you might get bored not having parks or beaches available. Our family decided to venture out to a new neighborhood for a walk before (and in case) the shelter in place order comes to Jax. 

Bulk Commercial Toilet Paper Solution

Maybe we weren't totally out of toilet paper, and maybe the stores were going to catch up with all the hoarding. But we were running somewhat low, and I sure didn't want to have to use alternative solutions that might clog up the plumbing, so I got to searching online. Plus, if we could get TP delivered, then we would not have to worry about hanging out at the store with hundreds of people in order to find one item.

Online Church ... Now What?

Your church has transitioned to being online. Maybe you drove people away in the first week with a shrill-sounding Facebook Live service. Maybe you don't even have a Facebook or (better) YouTube account for video. Maybe you'd prepared by delving into online technology and presented yourself in a professional manner. But the money problem still exists. Even if SOME of your church members have been paying online for several years, not everyone pays online. And those who do pay online might like another option. Let's take a look at some of your online church options for keeping the money coming in.

So All These Folks Who Can't Cook or Bake Need to Hoard Flour?

I understand the toilet paper. Everyone wants two weeks worth of TP to make sure that they can survive a quarantine or shelter-in-place order. Or an apocalyptic zombie attack. Even guns I get, since you obviously need to protect your toilet paper and canned food stash with an assault rifle. Other Covid-19 hoarding I don't get. Like water and flour.

First, water. There is nothing wrong with the water supply, at least not until hurricane season. You don't need bottled water during a Coronavirus outbreak. There's a much better chance to spread the virus via packaged items from the grocery store than via a public utility. In fact, I believe there is a 0% chance of your house water or electricity giving you this virus. Bacteria infections can sometimes survive in public water, which is why you might want a fridge water filter. I guess these filter companies could say you have a 0% chance of catching Covid-19 from filtered water. Or from unfiltered water, probably. Like I said, there's no reason to fill your garage with bottled water. 

Flour is the most odd hoarded item, assuming people are hoarding rather than just buying something they don't normally buy. And they don't normally buy it. Or use those bread makers that are still in the box since the wedding, five years ago. Or ten. or twenty. I wonder if there's a shortage of yeast, too. More than likely, people who have never made bread or baked much of anything, rushed out to get the one ingredient they know probably is needed in baking and cooking. Only to find out they might need yeast and baking powder and spices and all kinds of other items no one needs when you eat at Chick-fil-A or Panera four times a week. 

For those of you who do eat out or buy frozen all of the time when the world is normal, flour is one of many ingredients in what you eat. For example, the breading on KFC's fried chicken would include flour along with 11 herbs and spices. Flour doesn't magically turn into bread or breading or cookies, my Millennial friends. And since it's not magical and does take effort and the use of a real oven rather than an air fryer, why did you bother to buy the last three pounds of flour from Family Dollar when you couldn't find it at Publix. Next year, you'll just have to throw it all away when you discover mealworms or flour beetles. 

Based on social functions we've been to in Jacksonville, it seems that the only place around here where people actually bake is at the Publix bakery. I am optimistic that some old family recipes will be resurrected as more people are at home right now. Here are some pointers for you from a family that does a lot of cooking and baking. 

1. Flour might look like sugar, but it's not. 

2. Dark pans are terrible for baking cookies. 

3. Bread in bread makers will often not rise. It's a problem a lot of men (and women) have, and you should not be embarrassed by it. You might need to change things up to get the rise to happen naturally, but don't give up and don't blame yourself. 

4. Cooking and baking create a lot of dishes. You might need to learn how to use the dishwasher as more than just a drying rack. 

5. Teach your kids to cook and bake so that they are not as helpless as you when they grow up.

Happy Homemaking!

Search New Jax Witty

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Thanks for reading. See more of my content:

Satisfamily - Articles about being happy as a family
Passive Ninja - Web Design in Jacksonville
McNewsy - Creative Writing
Educabana - Educational Resources
Brave New Church - Church Website Design
Voucher School - Pros and Cons of School Vouchers
Luthernet - Web Design for Lutheran Churches
Sitcom Life Lessons - What we've learned from sitcoms
Mancrush Fanclub - Why not?
Epic Folktale - Stories of the unknown
Wild West Allis - Every story ever told about one place
Educabana on Teachers Pay Teachers (mostly ELA lessons)
Real Wisconsin News - Satire from Wisconsin
Zoo Interchange Milwaukee - Community website
Chromebook Covers - Reviews and opinions

Brian Jaeger - Resume (I'm always interested)

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Online School Day One

It's not even noon in my house, and it's nearly complete insanity. Day 1 of online school. Both kids are currently in school-sponsored group discussions, so I am hearing them and all of their friends all at once. My wife, who teaches at the school, is trying to troubleshoot problems in communication with her own students. And either it will all work out eventually or else devolve into something of a scheduled daily chaos session as the world deteriorates around us. 

Covidifiers Could Cure Florida

The worst part about Florida is the hot, humid summers. I always tell people from the Midwest who are also considering moving down here that the summers are like winters up there: just stay inside. However, Floridians have a real opportunity to live Covid-19-free this summer, and it's a natural solution, maybe with a little help from my new covidifier invention (patent probably pending).

Coronavirus Assignment: Say Something Nice

Sometimes it's fun to mess with people a little bit online, like when I ripped on some guy from Lenexa, KS, for thinking he was some kind of a real poet. Or the local Millennial on a mission to become a typical scammer. Or when I smoked a CEO who was acting like a CEO. However, as we all deal with Covid-19 and our families all day at home with us, let's all take some time to write something nice once in a while in order to keep the world and ourselves sane.

Just the Mobile Version of the Florida Coronavirus Covid-19 Map

Too many websites want you to read lots of content or click on newsy ad links before you use the Florida Coronavirus map of Florida Covid-19 cases. Or someone thought embedding the map on a website was a good idea using either mobile or desktop.

Online Lessons for Teachers

If you're a teacher suddenly having to teach students online for the first time, you're going to want to use the resources available from your district and beyond. I started teaching predominantly online about a decade ago, even though I still had students in my classroom. Most of my 300+ ORIGINAL assignments were created so that I could use them either as handouts or as Google Docs. They were also used as Microsoft Office assignments when I taught in Florida for a stint.

What the Duck? Irresponsible Dog Owners or Nature

I was driving through the Five Points area, trying to avoid hitting one of those colorful ducks when my rider told me the worst story ever about a duck. At least the worst I'd ever heard, not having been told an abundance of duck stories.

Home Dental Office in my Neighborhood

Apparently, one of my neighbors was running an illegal dental office a couple blocks away. I never knew such a place existed. I mean, I could see a massage parlor or loansharking business, but an actual dental office? And without me even knowing it.

2010 - 2014 Cadillac SRX or Saab 9-4x Trunk Fix

Our Saab 9-4x (similar to Caddy SRX) had a liftgate that started to creep back down after opening. We did not yet have the problem of it closing immediately or without warning like I'd seen on forum posts, but it was probably heading in that direction. I searched for the best replacement pressurized cylinder liftgate support, and this is the one I chose from Amazon.

Getting a Dog License in Jax

I don't really know why a dog needs to be licensed in Jacksonville. I have a microchip inside my dog that will lead me to it, and the dog also wears a collar with contact information for our household. We have the documents stating the dog has three years of rabies shots, but we did not have a tag for Duval County. And that's probably the reason to get licensed, not that I've ever heard of animal control shooting a dog for not having tags in Jacksonville. Anyhow, the wife says we need a licensed dog, so for $20 a year, I figure that's the least of our dog-related expenses.

Viral NextDoor Child Care Post

Normally it's the crime posts that get the most comments on NextDoor, but one slightly out-of-touch grandma set off a firestorm of responses, so I figured I'd give her post another boost on here:

Childcare Needed
For our 4 year old granddaughter......We prefer an adult, with or without children, but a responsible college or high school student will be considered.

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION
* We live in Cobblestone
* Provide Care in your home
* We will pay you $5 per hour cash, weekly
* No set hours, but mostly afternoons and evenings, including weekends
* * Anywhere from 10 to 25 hours per week.

1001 Reasons NOT to Build a New Website

Salesmen are good at what they do, and they will tell you that apps are the future or that you can simplify your website. While apps aren't the future, there's some truth to simplifying, but it's at a cost. What I would say is that you should simplify and then have a blog or archive, just in case. Facebook doesn't do this for you. Twitter or Instagram either. Youtube can be useful, but it's not really a great place for people to learn more about your business.

How to Get Your Nuisance Neighbors Out

I just found out that the neighbors that we like next door are moving out. That's good for them, as they get an opportunity to get a new home of their own. We are hoping it's good for us, too, but just in case it's not, I am prepared because of events that happened on our block about a year ago.