Monday, May 10

Dear Jacksonville Landlords: Sell NOW!

sell your jacksonville rental property

Full disclosure: I would rather live next to homeowner's than rental tenants. That's partially why I am writing this article, but it's also sound financial advice for landlords right now. Sell, sell, sell!

Why? I know a lot of Jacksonville Landlords got in to the real estate market after the 2008 fire sale. That was smart. You've made some good money. Now is your time to cash in and wait for your next conquest. In doing so, you will allow homeowners to live in my neighborhood with me rather than renters, which will make me happier.

Saturday, May 8

Florida Sports Seasons

florida sports seasons

As our kids prepare for high school, it's time to consider which sports they might play. Florida has different sports seasons than some other states, including Wisconsin (where I played), so it's important to know which sports are available here for the kids. The offi official Florida site makes you click twice for the following list:



FALL

Bowling
Cross Country
Football
Golf
Swimming & Diving
Volleyball (G)

WINTER

Basketball (B)
Basketball (G)
Competitive Cheerleading
Soccer
Weightlifting (G)
Wrestling

SPRING

Baseball
Flag Football
Lacrosse
Softball
Tennis
Track & Field
Volleyball (B)
Water Polo
Weightlifting (B)

In case you were wondering, I know that Wisconsin had soccer in the fall because I recall watching Cheri R. run around the soccer field after football practice...and my dad always said football teams lost some of our best d-backs to soccer. Some Wisconsin high school baseball teams played in summer rather than spring, mainly because our first games were generally snowed or rained-out. As far as I can tell, there is no official summer high school sport in Florida. Also, I don't really understand why there are two separate weightlifting seasons, unless it has to do with steroids/transgender issues. Flag football was not an option when I was in high school, and I'm not sure if it's a girls only thing or if guys have teams, too. I'm also not sure why the state seems to delineate with a B or G in basketball but not soccer, both in the winter. But mostly I wonder how anyone plays water polo, unless it's just in the shallow end like Marco Polo.


Monday, April 26

Jax Local Ad of the Week: Jamie's Tree Service


Remember to support local businesses, not that anyone hires a national chain to cut down trees, but you get the point.

This week's ad seems pretty normal at first: a manly man up in a tree, holding part of the tree he's been cutting down, giving a thumbs up. He seems to be safely harnessed to the tree and adorned with proper attire to be cutting trees. I'd seen the ad several times before I noticed that it's all wrong. 

Friday, April 23

Where Should Our Tunnels Go, Jacksonville? Part 1 - St. Johns Town Center


I was reading that parts of South Florida are getting excited about Elon Musk's Boring Company and its promises of being able to build cheap tunnels. While I'm not sure I totally buy into the dream, I also wasn't sure about electric cars or sending millionaires to tour outer space, so perhaps Musk will come through and build tunnels on the cheap. Or else he'll promise that and then jack up the prices like the Tesla Roof fiasco. But let's just assume the Boring Company can build cheap tunnels. Where should ours be in Jacksonville?

St. Johns Town Center
As the recipient of New Jax Witty's Worst Design Award, the St. Johns Town Center could use some help, maybe using tunnels. St. Johns Bluff stupidly ends into Town Center Parkway, which stupidly ends into Gate Parkway, which stupidly meanders all around the Southside. In planning classes I took, the technical term is "clusterf***." And tunnels probably won't fix it because it was just so poorly designed. But why not try, right? 

Here's one idea: tunnel St. Johns Bluff into the Dick's Sporting Goods parking lot where it can meet up with Big Island Drive (where it stupidly meanders N/S after starting E/W). Now you have 25% of the traffic diverting right into the heart of the Town Center. Then, tunnel under the JTB and come up where the FBI building is at (big surprise) Gate Parkway. Instead of everyone playing around on Town Center Parkway and Gate Parkway, they just drive underground to get to Nordstrom and Dillard's and whatnot. That's the yellow tunnel in the image above.

If you really want the whole thing to make sense, you then build a road (call it St. Johns Bluff, perhaps) straight down from the tunnel along the high power lines until it hits Baymeadows. Wait, hit reverse for a second. Am I suggesting a North/South road should travel from the St. Johns River all the way down to Baymeadows (maybe even the 295) uninterrupted? Sacrilege! It should dead end or curve into oblivion, based on general rules for Jax right now. But really, building straight roads that go through to other straight roads actually works sometimes. Or all of the time. A double-tunnel could do what planners of the Town Center decided not to do (make sense). 

The next phase of tunneling, since the first one worked so well, would be dedicated exit (from the Town Center) tunnels, maybe along that same area near the Uptown Funk Apartments (which probably would get torn down for the greater good). Direct exits to the 295/9B and the JTB, tunneled under the interchange. So instead of being stuck in traffic for 30 minutes to get to the on ramp after stuffing yourself at Maggiano's, you just hop on over to the JTB East tunnel and head to your beachfront home in Ponte Vedra. Those are the pink and orange tunnels.

Another option is to tunnel from the St. Johns Town Center over to the new neighborhood that is stupidly planned to dead end Kernan (south of the JTB) rather than have it go through to (you guessed it) Gate Parkway where it becomes Baymeadows. I'm not lying, Gate Parkway goes East-Westish until it crosses the 295 and then hits Baymeadows which has turned from a solid East-West road into a solid North-South road for no other reason than to make me angry. Anyhow, if Kernan is not linked to Gatemeadows, someone seriously needs to go to jail. And when I say linked, I mean Kernan continues north-south along the edge of all civilization (yes, all the way to Hwy 1) and Gate comes east to meet it, not that Kernan just meanders over to Gate. Does anyone out there understand the purpose of roads? 

Sorry about the rant. We're talking tunnels here. Back to tunnels to fix bad road decisions. Maybe a tunnel from Town Center Parkway where it ends into Gate Parkway over to Southside Boulevard.  That's the blue tunnel in the photo. 

Just some ideas, folks, but not bad ideas if tunneling does end up being cheaper than building new roads. I'd prefer tunnels with conveyor belts and built-in carwashes. That way, no one breaks down and gets stuck, and your car gets washed. But I bet Elon Musk hasn't even thought of the tunnel carwash yet. 

As an added bonus, let's look at the way the Town Center should have been designed when it comes to (major) roads. The image includes several new main roads that connect to one another, and then there would also be other roads that connect to those roads, kind of like an old downtown, which I'm pretty sure was the idea behind a town center, right? Go ahead and call all four of the East-West roads Gate Parkway if you want. They all would have connected Kernan to St. Johns Bluff to Southside, just like Beach does and Baymeadows should. I know someone out there made this exact design when the Town Center was being considered, but curves and dead-ends somehow won the day.




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Thanks for reading. See more of my content:

Satisfamily - Articles about being happy as a family
Passive Ninja - Web Design in Jacksonville
McNewsy - Creative Writing
Educabana - Educational Resources
Brave New Church - Church Website Design
Voucher School - Pros and Cons of School Vouchers
Luthernet - Web Design for Lutheran Churches
Sitcom Life Lessons - What we've learned from sitcoms
Mancrush Fanclub - Why not?
Epic Folktale - Stories of the unknown
Wild West Allis - Every story ever told about one place
Educabana on Teachers Pay Teachers (mostly ELA lessons)
Real Wisconsin News - Satire from Wisconsin
Zoo Interchange Milwaukee - Community website
Chromebook Covers - Reviews and opinions

Brian Jaeger - Resume (I'm always interested)

Contact Me

Friday, April 16

Should I Drive for Lyft in Jacksonville? Uber?

I know you're not looking for a job until all your unemployment runs out, but just in case you want a gig once that happens, give Lyft a month. $1500 is a good guarantee from Lyft because many of the rides will be crappy $3.19 rides from McDonald's to a seedy apartment complex. So if you focus on crappy, short rides, you'll make maybe $500 or $750 for your first 100 rides. Signing up with the link gives you maybe double your normal pay for your first month, as long as most rides are short.

Thursday, April 15

I Earned Wisconsin's Version of Bright Futures: Here's My View of Florida's System and The Fight to Keep it Bright

A quarter-century ago, I was ranked 2nd in my class and 95th percentile in the ACT, so I earned Wisconsin's version of Florida's Bright Futures award. Since Florida is considering changing how Bright Futures is distributed, I thought I'd weigh in based on my own experiences.

Tuesday, April 13

Using Walgreens For Covid Vaccine Semi-Fail

I was recently deemed eligible For a Covid-19 vaccine. Gateway Mall was a good site when my wife went, but I decided I'd save some time driving and choose a local Walgreens. Kind of a mistake, though I am vaccinated.

JAXEX Craig: Loud Sunday in East Arlington Probably New Norm

I know some folks from Holly Oaks contacted me about the noise from JAXEX Craig Airport a while back they had video of planes continuously circling, reminiscent of something I'd see months later over my own neighborhood. Maybe complaints from Holly Oaks moved some of the routes. Maybe airport traffic means everyone in East Arlington must suffer. 

Jax Local Ad of the Week: Those Krazy Kids

First off, support local businesses, whether they use kids, animals, or inanimate objects in advertising. 

Let's take a look at some of the local ads that use kids, who obviously say the darndest things. We'll look at five local Jacksonville ads that use kids as part of their pitches in order to see if it's effective as it is cute. 

The first ad uses a slightly older kid than the rest, and we'll assume it's a daughter (heir) to the Air to Air company. She suggests, "Let's give away a $350 WIFI Thermostat with every Carrier 15 Seer Replacement Heat Pump." Even if this kid was raised in a household of HVAC folk, it's very unlikely she'd make this statement. Most kids would be like, "Buy a new Carrier system from my dad so he can get me a PS5." Maybe, if it's a really altruistic kid, she'd say, "Buy a new Carrier so that our company can donate food to homeless people or something." The latest ad for Air to Air features a teenage girl (not sure if it's the same girl), and she also suggests the same giveaway. Whereas I can almost buy that a little kid wants to give stuff away to customers, I'd think a teenager would be like, "Just buy a Carrier from my dad already so I can get a Jeep Wrangler for my Sweet Sixteen. Or don't. Whatever."


The next ad for Southern Home Additions features Erich, who says, "Don't wait til I take over...CALL NOW!" He's dressed in a tuxedo and seemingly dancing, perhaps at a family wedding. While he looks like he might be saying, "A cha cha, I love Kool Aid!" it's entirely possible that he was just told at the wedding that he would one day take over the family construction business, perhaps because his aunt just married some guy from a rival construction company. Still, I can't imagine he'd have the foresight to suggest people should invest in home additions now rather than in twenty years when he's the boss. He'd probably really say something like, "I love trucks and mac n cheese and puppies!" when asked what he wants to tell potential customers. And, honestly, who doesn't love those things?



The next ad from Elite AC features another cute kid who is looking shyly away from the camera and saying, "Kids like Clean Air, Trust us!" This is an interesting statement, coming from a kid. First off, kids are very self-centered, and it's unlikely this child would say that all kids like clean air if he's really talking about himself. Also, most kids don't use the royal we in a sentence or consider themselves to be part of the company. So a kid, when prodded to do so, MIGHT say, "I like clean air; trust me!" You notice how I also don't capitalize random words and use a semi-colon properly? If this wasn't a speech bubble that's quite obviously coming from a kid, I'd say it was the disembodied voice of the owner of Elite AC saying it, with "us" representing the employees of the company. If you really want to go out there, you could say that the eyes rolled to the side are more creepy and the possessed child is speaking as Legion, but most people wouldn't trust a child who's in need of an exorcism. 



Precision Carpet features a little boy and a pit bull, two of the most destructive entities known to suburbia. The boy has a smudge of dirt on his face and maybe in his hair while wearing overalls (reminiscent of Dennis the Menace). He's not really saying anything or even doing anything, but I suppose he will make a mess, given the chance. However, the irony in this photo is that neither the boy nor the dog are on carpet. The vans are. I have not yet seen a carpeted garage or driveway in Jacksonville, but I guess Precision Carpet will clean em if you got em. 

Side note: I did see a carpeted driveway while walking through Winnipeg (of all places), and I have seen some ratty carpet in enclosed patios here in Jacksonville, though I'm not really sure carpet cleaners can handle engine oil or grease from a grill. 

Credible AC uses a baby with his/her family to sell UV light filtering and duct cleaning. While neither will actually protect anyone from Covid, my wife definitely made me get the ducts cleaned in our house when our first baby was born, so I get it: the billion-year-old dust just sitting in your ducts is better off aging in a vacuum or a landfill in Georgia. Guys, just humor your wives and get the ducts cleaned the one time you have a firstborn. 

There is one other detail that might need some explaining: the extremely appealing model-parents both sport thick and dark hair, while the cute baby seems to be totally blonde or completely bald. I'm sure the kid will look like dad eventually, but that's one father who might be doing the math of his deployment and when his wife scheduled the construction work, carpet cleaning, and AC installation.  I'm kidding. The real question is why the dad's dressed like a lumberjack when the family lives in Florida and has a working HVAC system. 





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Related Stories
 
 
 
Thanks for reading. See more of my content:

Satisfamily - Articles about being happy as a family
Passive Ninja - Web Design in Jacksonville
McNewsy - Creative Writing
Educabana - Educational Resources
Brave New Church - Church Website Design
Voucher School - Pros and Cons of School Vouchers
Luthernet - Web Design for Lutheran Churches
Sitcom Life Lessons - What we've learned from sitcoms
Mancrush Fanclub - Why not?
Epic Folktale - Stories of the unknown
Wild West Allis - Every story ever told about one place
Educabana on Teachers Pay Teachers (mostly ELA lessons)
Real Wisconsin News - Satire from Wisconsin
Zoo Interchange Milwaukee - Community website
Chromebook Covers - Reviews and opinions

Brian Jaeger - Resume (I'm always interested)

Contact Me

Monday, March 8

Jax Local Ad of the Week: Pro Glass

Remember to support local businesses. Now to the ad.

Pro Glass is advertising frameless shower doors, but the door itself, along with the rest of this bathroom scene, seem just a little bit off. At first glance, it's a beautiful master bath, but the fun (and the devil) is in the details. Let's take a closer look at that room.
The glass door looks great. But something seemed weird about it swinging in to me. When I looked it up, building code generally says that shower doors CAN swing in but MUST swing out. That's why I've never seen one swung in, and you probably haven't, either. My assumption is that this door swings in AND out, and maybe people tend to like the look of it swung into the shower area. The reason for the code is that a door that only swings in would trap someone in the shower if he or she falls, which is why this one must swing both ways (insert pop icon joke here). So I get that, but why is it swung in or out in the photo? Would anyone leave the shower like this? My wife certainly wouldn't let me leave the shower door open after I was done. Just in case you want to duplicate this look without hiring pros like Pro Glass, be sure to avoid installing a shower door backwards in order to save space.

The bathtub seems to be in the middle of the room, which is fine by me. I assume it makes plumbing a little more difficult, but that's a homeowner's choice. The little end table/stool next to the tub is a bit more questionable. It seems to be leather or some other soft material. On top of the table is a tray with bath oils or whatnot. Also, two towels. One towel is rolled up while the other is draped over the table. Why? I guess it looks fancy, but also, no towel racks. Is that a Florida thing? Because when I bought my house, it only had one towel rack in the shower and one over the tub, neither of which were convenient. I had to add more to the walls, where towel racks go. Or, you could add a door towel rack. But this bathroom has no towel racks at all. Just a window to allow sun-drying, but no rack in the shower or near the tub or on the door. I guess you're supposed to drape your wet towel over your beautiful shower enclosure, but that kind of defeats the purpose of all that beautiful glass.

The last detail that is odd and maybe even a bit frightening is the bird. 
The bird is standing in the way of a door that clearly opens in. Is it a doorstop? Maybe it's a towel rack. But when I searched online for bird doorstops and towel racks, I could not find this bad boy. I did notice that the bird stands out more than anything else in the room, so it must be important. But it's blocking EMTs from getting into the bathroom, just like a shower door that opens in. It also looks like it has sharp edges, like something I'd stick in the garden rather than where naked people walk around. If it's iron, it would probably rust as a towel rack. My wife says it's a crane. Do you want to have a crane, whether it's a towel rack, a doorstop, or a piece of art, staring at you in the shower or tub while blocking your only exit? No, thank you.



Thursday, March 4

1986 Bertone (Fiat) X 1/9 in Jacksonville

1986 Bertone X 1/9

I've been asked by a reader to add some photos of my X. I don't think she'd mind. 

I've seen a few people snap photos of her as I drive around, but I've kind of neglected to take many of my own. Her permanent, legal home is in Wisconsin, where most of the photos were taken. 

Friday, February 26

Section 8 Housing In Jax and St. Johns


section 8 jax

I first heard of Section 8 housing when I saw a news story about St. Johns County. That story said St. Johns had some kind of law against Section 8 housing, which resulted in fewer options to house the homeless contingent in St. Augustine. I never looked up Section 8 at the time, though I did wonder how St. Johns could ban Section 8 while Duval can't. I'm still not all that sure about how or why, but I do know most of us don't want Section 8 in our back yards. In fact, I just discussed something similar to Section 8 with my kids, as we drove past the Dunes Apartments next to Ed Austin Park. I said the apartments looked so bad that it might make sense to pull them down and build some smaller single-family homes, which might result in some of the people who no one really wants hanging out in a park being forced to move away. But then one of my kids asked me where they'd go, and that's what makes it complicated. I'd like to say, "St. Johns County," but I can't. And so that means that those of us in Duval who live too close to Section 8 housing will eventually move to where that type of housing can't exist.

Jax Local Ad of the Week: Beachside Swimwear and Gifts

First and foremost, support local businesses. Now, let's look at the ad. 

At first glance, this week's ad might seem like standard swimwear fare, but (like most ads) there are some strange details as you look closer. But maybe it's just because the business is trying to sell off those old 2020 swimsuits. Or it's just really difficult to make swimsuit models look natural in a tiny print ad.

Tuesday, February 23

Jacksonville's Two Civil War Burnings

Union troops hanging out at Bay and Ocean

At some point, most of us who live in Jacksonville learn about the fire of 1901 that destroyed most of the city. That's why I was surprised to learn of two other fires in the city's past, both during the Civil War. Neither fire was as destructive property-wise, but I think the argument could be made that both of these fires were more destructive to relationships between locals that extended to the rest of the country. These fires were burnings rather than an accidental fire like in 1901.

Saturday, February 20

Polar Blue Skies?

What are polar blue skies? 

I saw the term used on the First Coast News Weather Channel. When I asked Google, she said she didn't know how to help with that, so I just searched the term "polar blue skies" myself on Google. The top results were from old First Coast News posts about the weather. So is it a Jax thing or a local meteorologist thing? Or a real thing that most weather people ignore?

Friday, February 12

Jax Local Ad of the Week: Milano's for Valentine's Day


Local ads can be fun because they are not always as polished as national ad campaigns. This is the first in a series that will take a look at some local ads from mailer magazines.

Support local businesses, even if their ads weird you out a little.

My wife enjoys Milano's, and we have used the restaurant's promotions in the past. And if it wasn't for a pandemic, we might have done the Valentine's Day Special, even with it being presented in this somewhat odd ad.

Wednesday, February 10

Culver's Arlington Location (UN)Explained

culver's jacksonville

Evan Clagnaz is a lot like me. He's from Wisconsin. He wants a Culver's in the Arlington area of Jacksonville. He trusts other people. He has a few million dollars to invest in a restaurant. Etc. 

OK, fine, at 36 I didn't quite have $4+ million to invest. Or at 46. Maybe at 56 (fingers crossed), but by then, all the Culver's restaurants will have been built in Jax, and I'll have missed my chance to own one. Except for maybe one that fails because it’s been built in the wrong location.

Tuesday, February 9

The Best Gyros in Jacksonville

I wish this article was about the best gyros in Jacksonville. My family loves us some gyros, having learned about the awesomeness from Milwaukee staples like Oakland Gyros and Golden Gyros. We tried gyros when we lived in Kansas City, but almost every restaurant there mixed beef and lamb (at best) and fell a bit short. In Jacksonville, we've tried a few places, but we have yet to really find the best gyros in Jacksonville, so if your restaurant wants me to find out if you qualify, then contact me. We're good for several visits per year once we find you, but I'd suggest a discount or coupon to entice me from the start.

Thursday, February 4

Siteground Officially Not Best Hosting Provider

Let's say you have an idea to build a website, or maybe you want to build a website farm in order to funnel people to your pyramid or ponzi scheme. It used to be that if you wanted to use Joomla to build the websites involved in your business venture, you'd choose Siteground. It was a level above the other hosts for both services offered and customer service. Plus, it offered special tools dedicated to helping those who preferred Joomla to Wordpress. 

Monday, February 1

Open Season on White People?

Here's the start of a post from NextDoor that was a little frightening: 

I just had a man attempt to run me over

Wednesday, January 27

Jacksonville Community Services Directory on Gloo

I was working on adding some functionality to a church website I built when I looked into the company that sent the code I was using. One of the options for church websites is to embed a community services map. I was going to embed an iframe of that map here, but it seems that it's more difficult than other iframes to generate. However, I'll provide a link so that you can check to see if your church or non-profit is listed with the directory

I am sure there are other websites out there that actually provide links to your organization, but if a lot of churches use this Gloo program, it's worth adding your listing, as well. I think it's supposed to function as a way for church members to find places to volunteer and maybe volunteer organizations to find churches that are engaged in the community, so it makes sense to claim your listing, since it seems to be free.

What's nice is the ability to search based on type of organization and then type of services offered. For example, you could search for "Church" and "Online Sermons" in order to get these results, albeit without links to the online sermons. It's very similar to a system I set up for my church about a decade ago for its 100 or so ministries so that people could search based on interest, except that was for a single church rather than a map of an entire country. And I had more categories, which would be nice on the map...it only includes very basic church services. Like my own creation, I assume this resource is underutilized. However, now your church or organization doesn't have the excuse that you didn't know it existed. 

Yes, you can pay $8,000 (PER YEAR!) for an online marketing firm to show you pretty presentations, create a ho-hum app, and sell you free online tools (Wordpress/Google Analytics/Email Newsletters) for a steep cost, or you can list your organization in ways like this, use Google and other free tools, and have a good freelance web designer make a website to which YOU add real content that brings in real traffic looking for a real church. 

This website has about 500 posts and averages 9,000 REAL reads a month, but it's all because of those 500 articles. I don't have an app, unless someone wants to add this site to their home screen (feel free). I don't email anyone. I don't market because I write. Some of my best articles don't even show up on Google anymore because they are no longer deemed relevant, while other articles get Top 10 rock star status. If your church offers addiction counseling, an article about your service might not get any hits because of all the other counseling services, but if you also write articles about how you deliver groceries to members and recycle batteries and make masks for frontline workers, one of those articles might inspire someone to watch a service or visit your church. And if you can link related articles to each other, that also helps. Even if it only inspires people to get involved at another church, your article got hits and results. Most people who find your church are not going to immediately download your app and sign up for newsletters. 

Based on church websites I've built, this website generates about 10 times the traffic of a typical church website that doesn't publish new content. Those churches would benefit from listing with Gloo, but they would benefit more from posting articles. They might be able to fake it a little with SEO and targeted marketing, but the long-term results may not be useful if there's never any new content. Apps don't create content. Neither do great keywords. If you want people to discover the community services at your church, write about them, even if it's a single article about care packs for immigrants from 2015. That said, I'm sure most churches will continue to send email blasts and run tired capital campaigns with no website evidence as to why someone would want to join or give. 


Search New Jax Witty
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Thanks for reading. See more of my content:

Satisfamily - Articles about being happy as a family
Passive Ninja - Web Design in Jacksonville
McNewsy - Creative Writing
Educabana - Educational Resources
Brave New Church - Church Website Design
Voucher School - Pros and Cons of School Vouchers
Luthernet - Web Design for Lutheran Churches
Sitcom Life Lessons - What we've learned from sitcoms
Mancrush Fanclub - Why not?
Epic Folktale - Stories of the unknown
Wild West Allis - Every story ever told about one place
Educabana on Teachers Pay Teachers (mostly ELA lessons)
Real Wisconsin News - Satire from Wisconsin
Zoo Interchange Milwaukee - Community website
Chromebook Covers - Reviews and opinions

Brian Jaeger - Resume (I'm always interested)

Contact Me

Friday, January 22

Fellows and Residents Searching for Rental Properties

mcw mke rental house

If you have a fellowship or residency, you're going to be looking for a home in a new city, probably in a new state. You can rely on the rental or home websites or hire a realtor, but it also helps to have some insight from someone who has lived in the area for a long time. I qualify as that person in the Milwaukee and Jacksonville areas, so if you have a placement at the Medical College of Wisconsin, Mayo Florida, or UF, you might want to contact me. Especially for MCW and Mayo. 


Wednesday, January 13

If You're Going to Get Guy Food, Be Ready For Anything

A local woman was emotional and upset during a news interview after a man pointed a gun at her in a Hardee's drive thru down on Baymeadows. Personally, I don't like guns, but I do have to admit that if you're going to get your food at a guy restaurant in Jacksonville, you should be ready for anything and nothing should surprise you.

Neighborly or Not: Dealing With Conflict in Jacksonville

Relationships are important, especially when those relationships involve your neighbors. I can write an article on this or other websites that gets hits from all around the country, and I'm just some anonymous guy writing about a topic of interest. But when you post on your Facebook neighborhood group or on Nextdoor, you're making the choice for your neighbors to see the content. Even benign posts with the intent of being diplomatic can be taken the wrong way. A recent situation in my neighborhood is a great example of how conflicts might escalate on social media, even if the intent was basically the exact opposite.


To begin with, I should have learned my lesson about trusting others when we first moved to Jacksonville. My car was hit from behind at a stop light by a college kid who begged me to let him pay for the damage rather than report another claim to his insurance. I trusted him and basically lost out on $1,000. Welcome to Jacksonville. But I didn't really know him, and I haven't seen him since, so I am mostly over it. Except there was a lesson to be learned that I apparently have yet to figure out. I had several options at my disposal when the latest incident happened, yet I still apparently got it all wrong, and this article represents my effort to clarify and attempt to rectify the situation. I once again relied on trust that another person would do what was right.


This is what happened and is not disputed: a neighbor’s dog got out of his garage/family room and attacked our dog. Our dog was on a leash and on the sidewalk. The neighbor broke it up quickly and apologized, saying his dog had never done that before. I swore a lot; like a sailor, or maybe even like a sailor from Boston.


Now for the disputed parts. 

  1. I say it was a Pit Bull, as it was a total Pit Bull attack (and the dog looked like one to me), while the neighbor (or at least his kid) said it was not a Pit Bull. 

  2. While there were no visible signs of injury to our dog immediately, we found a wound the next day that she was licking. 


To be clear, we never had any problems with this neighbor before. In fact, our interactions had always been pleasant. Plus, I like the fact that he doesn't tend to park his two cars OVER the sidewalk like so many other neighbors, even if he doesn't park them IN the garage where cars belong (my minority opinion). But those cars being in the driveway did allow his dog to surprise us as it charged out of the open garage/family room.


After the dog attack, we had to decide what to do next. We kicked around all of the ideas, but settled with the (I assume) typical Florida reaction of doing nothing. These are what we believed to be our options. 


  1. Do nothing, hoping my own swearing tirade and the fear of what could have happened would be enough to persuade the owner to keep his dog on a leash.

  2. Go the legal route. Report the incident to Animal Control, the police, and the HOA. File a small claims lawsuit and hope for Judge Judy. However, COJ says you need an affidavit signed by two unrelated people or a video of the incident, which is pretty difficult to pull off (unless the neighbor has surveillance video he'd like to share or wants to sign an affidavit against himself). It also has to be notarized. Really. The HOA option, however, might have led somewhere, though I have had at least two email complaints ignored by our HOA. Your HOA results may vary. And small claims lawsuits are kind of small: I could waste both our time, win a hundred dollars, and just end up with an angry neighbor. It's not like you call JSO for a dog bite, right? Someone suggested putting the vet bills in his mailbox, maybe with a lawyer-ish letter, or even knocking on his door to talk, but I wasn't sure about another in-person confrontation. When our neighbor kid destroyed a Christmas lawn ornament, I also balked at the confrontation, even though I had video evidence. It's just not fun, and those neighbors liked us until the day they moved away, whereas I don't know what would have happened if I called their son a liar.

  3. Social Media Shame. I did NOT do this, though the neighbor seems to believe I did because I referenced the attack in a closed Facebook group post about two other Pit Bulls roaming around the neighborhood. If I wanted to Facebook shame my neighbor, I would have included his name, address, photos of an obvious Pit Bull from his own Facebook posts, his occupation and how it might relate to not wanting to admit what kind of dog he owns, the receipts for our expenses, and photos of the injury. I could have added a photo of the house to warn others to stay away, and I could have further tormented the neighbor with a recap of his court and financial history. And rather than posting it to a closed Facebook group, I certainly would have posted it to all of Facebook and Twitter, along with an article here and on several other websites. And I would have sent links to the local news, the HOA, local politicians, and the neighbor's homeowner's insurance or mortgage company. I collected all of the information I would have needed to be able to do this, but all I did was mention the attack in passing in a post: "I don't want to start a big debate, but our leashed dog was attacked by a pit bull in our neighborhood on the sidewalk a few weeks back (with the owner letting it run loose). I refrained from reporting the owner and suing for vet bills because I did not want to stir up trouble. But now I have this video of two different pit bulls wandering around at 4am. If you like dogs, cats, or small children, this video should worry you. I know some of you love these dogs, so I will not say more. My daughter witnessed the attack and is now worried all over again. Please, keep all of your pets inside, fenced in, and on a leash."


Apparently, my neighbor whose dog attacked ours saw this post and became angry. Even though our family has mostly stopped walking past his house, I decided to take the dog that direction one morning. As I walked past his house, he walked from his side yard towards the oft-open garage and started laughing loudly. After the restraint I had shown (in my mind) by not suing, issuing complaints, or publicly deriding this man, I assumed the most I would hear out of his mouth would be a half-hearted apology with me accepting and reminding him to keep the dog on a leash. Instead, I heard cynical laughter that continued as I passed his house on the street (avoiding the sidewalk where it happened). Eventually, I said, "What?!"

The neighbor, who you might realize I am still not naming, went through his list of grievances after saying he saw what I posted on Facebook: “I apologized.” “The dog had never done that before.” “You’re not going to sue.” “Your dog wasn’t even bitten.” “Your daughter only cried because of all your swearing.” I think he also initially asked me what my problem was, or something like that. The point is that he took my passing reference to his negligence and took it to be me attacking him personally, so he decided to come after me personally. Since I was kind of surprised, I didn't say anything. Besides, this neighbor already had two of the 3Ps of Jacksonville (Pit Bull and Pickup), so I assumed he owned the third (Pistol).

I have tried to see this situation from my neighbor's perspective. I did swear a lot. Our dog didn't yelp. We didn't contact him to see about rabies after the bite. I guess I can see why he thought it was all behind us, but instead of allowing a fairly innocuous Facebook post to go by, he decided to call me a liar, as if I would create that lie and then not try to hit him up for cash? As if I'd create the lie to deride him and then not identify him? 

So, lessons learned, everyone. It seemed that the only time the offending party in Jacksonville has been happy with me is the time I never told my neighbor his kid destroyed a lawn ornament. That means people want you to forgive, forget, move on, and never mention it. The problem is that I expect the opposite from others if I'm at fault. If my kids destroy something at a neighbor's house, if my dog bites a neighbor's cat, or if I sideswipe a neighbor's car, I want to own that it happened and what I can do to fix the situation. Integrity and honesty, especially when it comes to my kids seeing it. We all make mistakes, but those of us who admit our mistakes instead of trying to pretend they never happened are much better off. I already apologized to my wife and daughter about my swearing incident (and they know it's not who I am). I hope my neighbor can move past the people who might have wronged him in the past and realize that I am not those people. Maybe he also needs to reflect on the man he really is, too, especially if blaming others for his failings is typical. 

I wish I could offer more concrete advice. I saw one 60s sitcom where the wives got together and figured it all out for their husbands. But I saw another more recent one when the wives got together and made a feud worse. Plus, sitcoms are not real life. Maybe our kids will be friends in high school. My plan is to move on and start walking past the house again. I am hoping I don't have to keep my phone recording the whole time, but since it's Jacksonville, that's probably the best idea.

Monday, January 4

Save Money on Gas

I was excited when AAA changed its partnership to Shell and offered $.05 / gallon discount to members. Then, T-Mobile bought Sprint and gave me another weekly discount at Shell. Now, I also started using the Getupside app for another discount on fill ups, and you should, too.

While my Shell rewards doesn't allow me to fully stack the rewards, I do get "cash" back from Getupside that can be used for Amazon or Walmart gift cards. Instead of the normal $.12 per gallon, I get $.085 per gallon while saving $.05 at the pump, for a total of 13.5 pennies back per gallon. When gas is as low as $2.00 a gallon, that's a decent 6.75% off. I'm also not limited to Shell with Getupside, so I can just take the $.12 per gallon at a cheaper gas station that also offers my preference of top tier gasoline, though I have yet to research which local ones would be my best bet.

Male Fashion and Lifestyle: 3 Things Every Man Needs



Since I started wearing my Christmas present a bit early, I was asked about my watch by someone. It's a hybrid watch, which means it looks and acts like an old-fashioned watch but adds some smart watch features. I'd kind of missed having a watch since the Kansas movers stole my last one on our way to Jacksonville. Anyhow, the topic is watches, and this guy tells me there are three things every man should have: a tie, a watch, and a cologne collection. 

Tuesday, December 15

My Guides to Jacksonville

welcome to jacksonville

I've met several people thinking of relocating to Jacksonville, and I often tell them to check out my website for my guide to the city. Except I did just that myself and realized it's not that easy to find, so here's a guide to my guides. 

Also, if you're thinking of moving here and want to hire an actual guide, that can be arranged. Use the contact form to work out the details. Or ask your realtor to take you everywhere...they love doing that.

Monday, December 14

95% of Jax Florida Blue Employees Are Working From Home; Umm, Uh-oh

I am all for American jobs in America, which is why when I read about Florida Blue renting out office space because 95% of its workforce is working from home, I got worried.  If Florida Blue realizes that the employees don't really have to be in the office to be effective, I have to wonder how long it will take before the company wonders whether the employees need to be in America to be effective. And it's probably happening in lots of places across America right now. 

Every Duval County Middle School Parent--Read This

Duval County Schools

I wrote an article about searching for a high school if you live in Jacksonville, but I realize now that my article might give some parents a false sense of security because your otherwise good student might not qualify for some of the Duval programs. Your own school and Duval Schools might claim it's all your fault. While that's partially true, I'm here to help you avoid a potentially huge mistake that needs to be addressed early in middle school. And it's especially important for those of you with kids in private or charter schools.

Tuesday, December 1

Guy in Blue VW Probably Deserves What He Gets

I'm not sure what the penalty is for shoplifting, since I've never really done it, but I do feel that a guy I saw recently stealing from a convenience store probably deserves to get the book thrown at him. The problem is that it probably won't happen, so this guy will keep on taking his own personal discounts until someone bothers to go after the bum, though perhaps writing about him will help him admit the error of his ways.

Tuesday, November 10

People Can Still Hear You, Even if You're Wearing a Mask


I realize that masks make talking and hearing others more difficult, and wearing one also provides an odd sense of security that may or may not actually exist. While it's true people can't see all of your facial expressions, they can still hear you. However, if you're like me, your mask might entice you into forgetting that others can actually understand the words coming out of your mouth. 

Arlington Mural an Enigma and Kind of Silly

arlington mural jax




I've driven past the Arlington mural along the Arlington Expressway plenty of times by this point, and I'm still trying to figure it out. I know, it's art and individual and abstract, etc. But it's still supposed to mean something. To the artist, to residents, and to visitors. I'd like to make an attempt to decipher what the Arlington mural means in all or any of those contexts so that I can better explain it those who look to me for answers.

I'm From Milwaukee, And, Yes, The 2020 Election Results Are Normal

mke lakefront

I was forced to write this article because of the number of people I've encountered who, upon learning I'm from Milwaukee, make such statements as, "Your city really blew the election." I can't speak for Philadelphia, Detroit, or Atlanta, but I can tell you that election results coming in late and favoring Democrats is fairly typical in Wisconsin because of Milwaukee. If you take a look at the Wisconsin results, you'll see that Dane County (Madison) and Menominee County (87% Native American) had higher percentages in favor of Biden. Democrats will often win Milwaukee with over 60% of the vote, but not always. Clinton won 66% without ever visiting the state. Obama got 67% in 2012 and more total votes than Biden in 2020. Biden got 69%. That IS the highest percentage I could find for Milwaukee County, but it's still in the ballpark, so I wouldn't claim anything odd about the election there. 

Friday, October 30

Profiles in Courage: Judge Shore

According to USA Today, a local judge named Brad Shore might have broken some laws when he donated to President Trump's campaign, displayed political signs at his home, and cut off the press from watching how his team manages issues with ballots. Either it's a fake news nothing burger, or it's the exact reason we have rules for judges in these situations.

Wednesday, October 28

Another Case Against Pitbulls

pitbull attack jax


I'm sure some people in Jacksonville have already written me off as that guy who hates pitbulls for no reason. Even my own kids weren't really believers because "So-and-so has a nice Pitbull" or "Their dog is only part pit bull." But when one of these monsters comes charging out of a house in your own neighborhood and attacks your leashed dog on the sidewalk, that's when even the kids believe what I've been telling them.

Tuesday, October 6

Is Jacksonville a bad place to live?

jax

I was busy learning about Google Search and people finding my websites when I came across this question on Google, answered by a Quora forum post. That's kind of sad, right? People must ask if Jacksonville is a bad place to live a lot, which is why it ranks high on Google, but the answer comes from some random person's assessment. Since I am also some random person answering, it might as well be me. 

No, Jacksonville is not a bad place to live, relatively speaking.

Wednesday, September 30

Jacksonville High School Search - An Annotated List of Options for East Arlington Families

Jacksonville High School Auditorium

Let's say you've got kids, and like most parents, you want the best for them. Choosing the right high school for your kids can be complicated, especially if you haven't had to make similar choices in the past. I've decided to detail my search for the right high school in this article in the hopes that I can reference it as the time nears for enrolling my eldest child in high school, but my research might be able to help you, too. 

[Some of the updates will detail how the process went and my evolving perception of the schools.]

Make sure you also read my guide for middle school parents BEFORE your kids are in 8th grade. (And if you are dealing with Duval and can't get your kid registered, schedule an appointment to go in and meet someone rather than wait for hours on the phone.)

Philosophy
I believe in a free public, liberal arts education. I taught at a public school for 12 years. However, I also believe that not all public schools have a positive influence on kids (not because of the teachers but because of the other kids). My wife teaches at a private school, and that school is better than most of the local public middle schools. Again, I'm not blaming Duval teachers for this. When the schools underperform, often because the best students leave for private schools, parents take note and build new homes in St. Johns or Clay. This is not new; the expansion of Duval County Public Schools to cover all the suburbs was meant to stop this process (and it's a great, failed experiment). As an urban planner, Jacksonville is so interesting, since the annexation of basically the entire county didn't stop urban sprawl, failing schools, crime, or even people moving to the next county. What we've ended up with in Jacksonville is a system of lackluster public schools with one stellar school in a lackluster neighborhood, along with seedy, parasitical charter schools that suck the life (and some decent students) from the public schools. We also have an array of private schools that take the top students out of Duval Schools but are also somewhat threatened by publicly-supported charter schools. If nothing else, the private schools keep some of the wealth in Duval County to pay the property taxes that get blown on Duval's public school system. 

Ratings
There are all kinds of "objective" ratings out there. Some of them rate local public schools only, while others will also rate the private schools. In the end, all of these ratings are subjective to me, so I'd rather talk to real people who have either recently graduated or sent their kids to these schools. From interviews and our own opinions, we'll develop a personal rating system. Of course, it's our rating system for our family, so consider it subjective, but it might apply to you depending on your point of view. If you read all of this article, you'll know if we are like-minded. 

Location
We live in East Arlington, about 15 minutes from the closest high school. There is no clear winner when it comes to location, but there are some fairly clear losers if our goal is to keep commutes to 30 minutes or less. Our neighborhood school would be Sandalwood, but the absolute closest high school to us is Providence. Being that we are in a residential area, plenty of people are in the same boat as us--those who live between St. Johns Bluff to the west and Girvin to the east and north of Atlantic. It's about 20 square miles with no actual high school, public or private. Compare that to the same basic square miles that includes Bolles, Bishop Kenney, Episcopal, University Christian, River City Science, Wolfson, Englewood, and Sandalwood. I guess we've got all the car dealerships over here, and they've got all the high schools over there. People who live in the older part of Arlington are basically in the same boat as us, since the only high school over there is Terry Parker, and the only thing I've ever heard about Terry Parker is, "You don't want to go to Terry Parker." And, really, we don't have much in terms of high schools all the way down to the JTB. Really, there are a lot of homes between the 295 and the Intracoastal / the river down to JTB. Besides trying to get a high school built at Kernan and McCormick, most of us residents have to resign ourselves to driving or the bus.

Based on our location in Ft. Caroline Shores / East Arlington / Intracoastal West, here are the times to get to local schools during morning rush hour (from Kernan and McCormick): 

Current middle school (Grace Lutheran) - 4 minutes

Harvest - 9-14 minutes
Seacoast - 10-18 minutes
Providence - 12-20 minutes
Parsons - 12-20 minutes
Lone Star - 12-20 minutes
Sandalwood - 12-22 minutes
Fletcher High  - 14-22 minutes
Beaches Chapel - 14-22 minutes
River City Science - 16-26 minutes
Episcopal School of Jacksonville - 18-28 minutes
University Christian  - 18-30 minutes
Atlantic Coast - 18-30 minutes
Bishop Kenny - 18-35 minutes
Stanton College Preparatory School - 20-30 minutes
The Bolles School - 26-45 minutes

Scroll down to see my opinion on each of the preceding area schools. Think of it as an initial guide that you can use as a starting point.

Kids' Preference
Kids like to go where their friends go. I totally get that, and our kids would have ready-made friends at BK, UC, Sandalwood, Beaches Chapel, and maybe Atlantic Coast. They would at least know someone at Providence and Harvest, as well. Both kids would like to have a high school experience in a medium-sized school that is safe and offers lots of opportunities. 

Parents' Preference
Just like you, I think my kids are special. They both consistently test in 90+ percentile in math and English. One loves sports, and the other loves performing. They both really enjoy school and learning, even if it's from a stupid TikTok video. They are not socially inadequate, and they make friends easily. However, they have not had to deal with too many bad influences. I attended public schools in Milwaukee, including a high school with high poverty and low graduation rate / expectations. My wife attended an elite private school. Neither of us see "diversity" as a real factor in ranking a school, though we are also not against it. I don't want my kids saddled with endless homework or oppressive expectations, but I also don't want them to cruise through high school and then fall flat in college. We don't want to send the kids on a 15 minute bus ride to a loading station for another 20 minute bus ride. And both of us are a little wary of college while in high school, even if it means fewer years of college and less money spent. I really don't care about AP or other more advanced classes and tests, but I also know that these classes have become what used to be simply the honors or advanced classes. Going into this process, I had been predisposed to choose Providence because it would be giving my kids an opportunity to hobnob in a way I never could. My wife, who did get that opportunity, seemed to favor Sandalwood before we began talking to people, so go figure. And one last thing is that both our children will be attending the same school. I know one likes performing and might benefit from an arts school, but we're not those parents who are going to run ourselves ragged because the kids want to be at different locations. That said, we need to find one school that works well for both kids.

History
Our kids attended the best public elementary school in Milwaukee. You can debate all you want about neighborhood versus magnet schools, but if you live in a city with magnet schools, you better use them. After getting an education in both English and German in MKE, we moved to Kansas for one year, where the kids continued to do well in a Lutheran school. However, we decided to move one more time to Jacksonville, even though we realized that the Shawnee Mission high schools in Johnson County, Kansas, were all solid choices compared to what I'd read about Jax high schools. But here we are, with kids who have been in both public and private schools, trying to figure out how to move forward. As parents, we are not averse to public schools or private schools. Both my wife and I have worked as public school teachers, and we believe in the mission of public education, though we will not force a public education on our kids if we deem the local options inadequate. I think a lot of JAX parents in our part of town have done just that, which also helps to deplete the public schools even more.

St. Johns County
I have spoken to some people who moved to St. Johns County for high school. I know it happens a lot, and I can see the appeal of sending your kids to one of the best public school districts in the state instead of spending $10,000+ per kid per year for a Duval private school or taking your chances with DCPS. The parents who stick around in my neighborhood seem to prefer Providence or Stanton, based on recent yard signs. Even if we decided to stay here and drive the kids each day, St. Johns County is not allowing open enrollment in any of its high schools. Therefore, we don't have to consider the 28-45 minute trek to Creekside. Also, like a lot of people, we enjoy living in Jacksonville, so it's sad we all have to consider moving 30 minutes south just to get a decent school. Also also, I can't believe that it's legal for St. Johns County to get away with no Section 8 housing, no open enrollment in middle or high school, and probably a dozen other policy decisions that insulate it from reality.

My wife recently informed me about a parent who lives in Jacksonville who enrolled her child in a St. Johns County school. I am sure the woman has a sibling or parent who lives there. Here's what the St. Johns website says:   "In order for a student to enroll in St. Johns County schools, the student’s residence must be in St. Johns County." That's clear (and elitist), but it also won't stop parents from pretending if they are desperate to avoid First Coast or Terry Parker.

The Schools
Here's an annotated list of the potential schools based on our location. At the end of each opinion will be a personal rating phrase rather than an actual number. 

Harvest Community School
100+ students in HS
$8,500+ tuition and fees

People who aren't all about ultra-conservative values or homeschooling don't seem to think much of Harvest. Is it a school or a resource center? Is it accredited? Are the teachers certified? The high school seems to run on a 4-day schedule, with Friday being set aside for 
an opportunity to apprentice, intern, service projects and extra curricular activities.
I don't even know what to say about that. The website also has some weird "Dating vs Courting" advice on the main high school experience page. And it claims all block-scheduled classes are taught at the "honors" level. However, under "What are Teacher Qualifications," here's what the website claims: 
All high school teachers are mature Christians whose first priority is to disciple the students, offering Biblical world view in all classes. The high school team instructs classes within their field, and most are certified or mastered in their subject.
In the real world, being a "mature Christian" isn't really a job qualification, which seems to imply Harvest isn't exactly operating in the real world. I suppose that's fine for mature Christian business owners who want their kids to take over the family business after high school, but my family business isn't a huge money maker, so my kids probably need to learn from teachers who are ALL certified or mastered (not sure what mastered is) in teaching.

We actually know someone who sends their kids to Harvest. I believe there was a lot of homeschooling going on in the family before the school, so it's probably a good fit, as the school uses Fridays for families. I think Covid Times made most of us realize that homeschooling is only for some parents, and I'm not really one of them myself, which would mean Friday Funday with Dad instead of whatever mature Christians do on Fridays. 

Harvest DOES have a good location for us and the freedom to allow us to take long weekends, so I have to give it at least some love that way. I just don't think it's really a high school (and I'm not sure it claims to be). The website lists all the colleges students have somehow managed to gain admission to, so I guess the kids do find a way to prove themselves. 

Rating: Not for us, mainly because we want our kids to graduate from a real high school and attend a real college. 

Seacoast Christian Academy
Under 100 students in HS
$8,000+ tuition and fees

I am not sure if Seacoast is trying to be both a Christian Academy AND a Charter Academy for all grade levels, but it's a little confusing. The high school, which is part of the Christian Academy, costs $7,500 a year(2020), which puts it on the low end. According to the Seacoast website, the high school has some academic offerings:
Our curriculum includes college placement, honors and AP courses as well as a leadership program to help mold the spiritual formation of these young men and women of God.
This is a fairly vague representation, probably because these classes vary based on students and faculty at any given time. I understand that some local private schools are going to be small, but I'm also not sure I want my kids to have a grab bag of advanced options, and I'm also not clear on how Seacoast chooses its teachers: 
Our teachers meet or exceed the academic and personal qualifications for certification with ACSI. They are committed to providing the best educational environment in order to effectively prepare our students to impact their culture for Christ.

So, ACSI certifies high school teachers who have at least a bachelor's degree with a renewable General Studies designation, but it seems to encourage people to eventually get 20 credit hours from a college. I know from teaching in Duval that a lot of teachers there are also learning to teach as they teach with semi-related degrees, so I'm not going to bash Seacoast or ACSI too much here. However, I also do not know the percentage of teachers who are fully ACSI certified in their fields of study, or whether any current teachers are allowed to teach AP Calculus or "college placement" science courses. Please feel free to ask Seacoast about teacher qualifications, since I can't find much else on the website. I also want my kids to be prepared for college and life beyond just impacting their culture for Christ.

Seacoast's location isn't super-awesome in my book, but it's fairly close to us.

Rating: Even if I would get a job teaching here (as a real English teacher), I'm not sure about this school. It seems to lean towards reality more than Harvest, but I still feel it might be an alternate reality that won't be fit my kids in college. 

 

Providence School of Jacksonville
400-500 est. HS / 1200-1500 students (k-12)
$15,000+ tuition and fees

Providence would be our closest "elite" private school, with Episcopal and Bolles being a bit further down the road (and a bit more elite academically). The kids have been talking about "Providence Disease" ever since one friend left for that school, so there's obviously a backlash against the school. I also saw news stories about the sports program getting caught doing something wrong twice in the last several years, though I don't really know (or care about) the details. 

I've met a few Providence graduates, and they seem like good kids. I am sure the education is decent, and it's a real school. Providence is the obvious result of mediocre public schools in an expanding part of Jacksonville that includes 100s (maybe 1000s) of $1 million homes. People have found land to develop near the Intracoastal down to JTB, and they are going to need a school for the kids, so Providence is the de facto private school for anyone east of St. John's Bluff in Jacksonville, especially if the parents don't have ties to one of the older private schools. 

Providence has this vague description of its high school:
In Upper School, our rigorous curriculum challenges students to integrate critical thinking skills as they learn to search for answers beyond conventional wisdom.
So, does the high school curriculum question Christianity at a Christian school? Or democracy? Or that wealthy people work hard for their money? Marriage? Buy low and sell high?  I think I'm misunderstanding Providence's view of a "generally accepted theory or belief." To me, an obviously conservative school is kind of conventional, unless the folks at Providence think we're living in some kind of post-Christian, evil America where conventional wisdom says everyone deserves universal healthcare. (Sorry for that rant; vague, subject/noun-changing mission statements do this to me.) 

In trying to sell the school to my kids (and myself), I said things like, "It's good to get to know the kids whose parents have money." Or, "My friends from high school couldn't do much to help me when I got laid off." However, the fact of the matter is that our kids would need scholarships to attend Providence (and be seen as scholarship kids), and those other kids (and their parents) probably aren't any more likely to help our kids out someday as my friends were, so the connections might not be worth the investment of $15,000 a year to attend (2020). That said, one job offer IS worth the $60,000 investment, as long as you know you'll get that offer. With two kids, even with a second-child discount, we'd be looking at an investment of $100,000 or thereabouts. I'd probably rather pay off my rental home in Milwaukee than send my kids to Providence, but it's still a consideration because of where we live. 

The big question would be whether parents at Providence would accept that our kids are as smart as theirs, or as good at sports, especially if we got a discount and/or scholarship. That said, it would be fun to have some cocktails on someone's yacht during a Trump boat rally on the Intracoastal. Or for the kids to get invited to Switzerland for the summer. I talked to an obviously wealthy (private island) young man who did NOT attend Providence, and he used as his reasoning that he wasn't looking to go pro in sports and thought that the students there never experienced the real world. The problem with that assessment is that the real world can be kind of harsh, so I can see the allure of staying sheltered. 

My wife had a hard time joining her elite private school late in middle school because social groups had already been formed, and I am sure that also applies to joining Providence for high school. Unless the new kid is wearing a Louis Vuitton backpack and getting dropped off in Daddy's Maserati on the first day of school, you probably get sent to the back of the line. When I went to a tough city school, I could come in as a cool customer because I was a big deal on the undefeated freshman football team, but my daughter doesn't play football or croquet or go sailing or live in Queen's Harbour, so I don't know. 

Yes, it's a good school that has all the numbers to prove it. And it's close to our house. However, another parent told me that the tour guide at the school said, "Providence chooses you; you don't choose Providence." That was the final nail. 

Rating: This may be the right school if you have a money tree in the back yard or a rich uncle who happens to like you and die right as your kids are ready for high school. For us, the investment would basically mean no travel or gifts or going out or actual meals on Saturdays. 


Parsons Christian Academy
80-100 students
$7,200 tuition

Parsons isn't too terribly far away from our house, but I didn't know it existed until one of my kids said a friend's sibling attends the high school. It hadn't turned up in my local searches on Google Maps, most likely because it's listed as a "club" on Maps. The website also lacks vital information that parents might use to decide if it's a decent school, so maybe it is more of a club, anyhow. 

I had to work pretty hard to not really find out much information about the high school here. I am not sure about the types of classes or electives. I don't know if students tend to go on to college. No test scores. From scrolling through Facebook, it looked like 25ish students graduated from the high school last year, but the website doesn't seem to list enrollment numbers. I saw photos of some very young middle and high school staff members, but I don't know what they teach or if they have teaching degrees. Here's the philosophy of the school:
With a strong emphasis on academics blended with sound Christian teaching and a sincere interest in the well-being of children, Parsons Christian Academy focuses on embracing and growing the whole child.
The website also mentions art later on. Again, I didn't see examples of the art or know which teachers teach it or if art is a high school focus. There was a lot about tuition and payments, so at least you'll know what you're paying if not what you're paying for. 

It was kind of strange to see two people on the website listed as "owners" of the school. I guess if a school is not owned by a church or some kind of group, the owners are individuals, but you don't see it too often. When I tried to find out more about the accreditation of the school, here's how the FACCS describes its standards for academic programs: 
A quality Christian school offers a curriculum that is consistent with the school’s vision, mission, and a Biblical worldview, using instructional strategies that are aligned with the goals and objectives, as taught at each grade and subject level, for student learning, and provided in a comprehensive Academic Manual.
Unfortunately, that's even more vague than the Parsons website. I get it that if you know the owners of this school from church, you're probably comfortable with the curriculum being based on their vision and mission, but I don't know them. That said, the school does have a lot of positive online reviews, so people believe it's accomplishing something with their kids. 

Rating: It feels like this school is for people who already know about the school, maybe through owners or teachers or a church. Given its location near some suspect apartment complexes in Arlington, the goal might be to have a safe haven for folks who live in nice homes near the river but are afraid of Terry Parker and don't want to drive a half-hour to high school. That's a legitimate niche, but since I don't fit in that niche, and I'd need a lot more information than is available to part with $7,200 per kid per year, then it's not for us.
 


Lone Star Charter High School Diploma Center Place
168 students
$0 tuition

If your kids get into some kind of situation, then Lone Star might be the alternative to high school for them. It's a high school diploma, or Good Enough Diploma. One Google reviewer said he got his diploma in three days, probably by passing a bunch of tests. For most students, it's a 4-hour per day program. You can be 15-21 years old. 

Basically, this is not a liberal arts education. Probably more like daily test prep and learning of core subjects. This high school shouldn't be anyone's first choice, but it might be an OK last option. I guess I don't know why it's a charter school when DCPS probably has its own versions of this. 

Rating: Not a high school, but it could be useful in very specific situations. 


Sandalwood High School
2,800+ students
$0 tuition

We've been, at various times, both sold on Sandalwood and dead-set against it. Like many public schools, it seems to be an institution that works for students who know what they want out of the school and do the work necessary to meet their goals. While our kids do fit into that category, we've all kind of started to question the objective most students we've talked to from Sandalwood seem to have, which is to not be students at Sandalwood at all. Parents and students alike have told us that the only way to do Sandalwood is to use the early college option, which is basically working hard for two years in high school in order to then work towards a two-year associate's degree from a community college. The reason that doesn't seem glamorous is because it's not; it's practical, at least for anyone who doesn't really care about having a high school life OR a college life. The students we met who talked up this option seemed to be lower-end 4-year college students, meaning a lot of them might be first-generation college or in need of the cost-savings. I have to wonder how many of these students end up finishing a 4-year degree somewhere. Back when my cousin from Indiana was all impressed that she'd gotten an associate's degree, I asked my parents what it meant, and they said it meant she could work as a secretary somewhere. That was the opinion of people who'd graduated from college in the early 70s in the early 90s, but I'm thinking it might still hold true. 

Since this isn't Hollywood or one of those weird dreams I still have, you cannot go back to high school to make up for not really attending high school, so one person I talked to said the better option at Sandalwood is really the dual-enrollment, where you stay at the high school and get more like one year of college credits out of the way rather than two, or maybe one semester. You'd still have to navigate the world of a large, public high school, but you wouldn't feel like some odd college kid hanging out at a high school during your senior year to play sports or attend dances. 

I like the fact that there are plenty of course options for students at Sandalwood, but, as you can tell, I am not a huge believer in accelerating past high school and into college while IN high school. Personally, I enjoyed high school, but that was in-part because I was able to take interesting classes like woodworking, drafting, and yearbook. I also had options for classes like art and media broadcasting that I couldn't even fit into my schedule. For us specifically, if Sandalwood offered German, it might have swayed us in its favor, but when I looked into it a few years back, only Lee had a German program. Actually, I'm not entirely sure Sandalwood offers that many more electives than the smaller schools, since so many schools have gone to concentrating on core classes that matter for assessments, which is kind of sad. 

Almost everyone we've talked to about Sandalwood agrees that the negative perception of the school is now unwarranted and that it's a pretty good school. And it really ought to be, based on the location. I don't know if anything specific happened in the past or if it's just a case of Stanton and the private schools being seen as better alternatives, but I don't think Sandalwood is a bad option at all, particularly for students who want to attend college early.

Sandalwood is a huge school. I talked to a man who went there a while back who said it was a middle AND high school at the time. And I think it also uses portables, meaning it's the size of two schools plus some extra classrooms. I mean, I don't know if there were 2,800 people at the Jaguars game I attended in December of 2018. It's like the size of the college my wife attended, and it's more populated than nearly half the municipalities in Florida. A single high school that's more than double the size of Providence's k-12 school, and twice the size of the high school I attended. Or 35 times the size of Beaches Chapel High School or Seacoast. It's big, so you might meet future murderers or murder victims, as well as future mayors or congressmen. And you'll have to keep clear of some kids to make it through unscathed. I do appreciate the creativity in the Sandalwood nicknames that resulted from its past (hopefully) problems: Scandalwood, Sandalweed, and Scandalweed. You could probably add Skankyhood, Amplewood, Handandfoot, etc.

Rating: A month before this article, Sandalwood was our choice. As of writing this article, it's not. However, I think it's a decent school, especially for people in the East Arlington area with kids who aren't really sure about college, since it kind of pushes kids in the direction. I do wish it had a strong tech ed (autos / skilled trades) program rather than so much focus on college credits, just based on the people I've met living here. Sandalwood is probably the best school for lots of kids, but I don't think it's the all-around number-one for us.

[Update]
After spending time watching Sandalwood athletic teams and being on campus for events, I'm glad we didn't send our kids to the school. Sandalwood students seem kind of mean. Plus, my kids have heard stories about the school being a bit scary. Again, I'm sure most students are fine, but my kids didn't grow up attending Duval middle schools to toughen them up, so I'm glad we chose another school.

Fletcher High School
2,150 students
$0 tuition

When we moved to Jacksonville, we heard about how the local public schools weren't all that great except for maybe Fletcher. At least one family we know had moved to The Beaches in order to send their kids to Fletcher, but that's not really an option for us. Even though this school does have a low rating on Greatschools.net right now (because it's not currently improving), it's still one of the better schools around based on college preparedness, so the lack of continual improvement doesn't bother me all that much. I think the problem might be that good students at Fletcher kind of underperform. I am hoping that would not be the case with my kids. 

Like most public schools in Jacksonville, Fletcher is neighborhood school that also allows some open enrollment options. We know one family that lives in the Terry Parker section of town with one kid now at Fletcher, which should allow all the siblings to attend. They use the open seats, but if we choose Fletcher, then we'd apply to their Cambridge AICE program, which also has open seats for outsiders. I'm sure anyone who wants early college can apply to Sandalwood for its program, as well. While I'm not a huge fan of AP, IB, or other such programs, the AICE option is OK because it has a writing focus and allows a lot more choice in courses. I believe there are four AICE schools in Jacksonville, but Fletcher's the only one in the Arlington/Intracoastal/Beaches part of town. 

Generally, if you find a school you like in Jacksonville that isn't Stanton, you might be able to get in to the school if your kids qualify for AICE, AP, or IB, so keep that in the back pocket. While we'd love to live closer to the ocean, a house our size would cost twice as much anywhere near Fletcher. Open enrollment seats are not guaranteed, but a student who gets into a special academic program should have a seat. 

Fletcher is a typical high school, in that most students treat it as a four-year endeavor. With over 2,100 kids, this is a large school in my book, but it's not quite as huge as Sandalwood. 500 students per grade level is manageable, I think, though the school I attended and the one I taught at were both closer to 1,500 students. One thing we do acknowledge is that there will be some bad actors at a public school of over 2,000 students. Based on former students I've met, I'd say pot smoking is a thing at Fletcher. Hopefully, it's a small percentage of the kids. 

One of the main reasons that we started leaning towards Fletcher was based on a conversation I had with a Sandalwood graduate. He said that he was glad he did not do the early college program at Sandalwood, but he also said that if he had to do it over again, he would have gone to Fletcher. Not Providence or Stanton or any of the private schools his parents could have afforded. He also mentioned the AICE program, which had been recommended by others we've asked. 

As long as the rest of the school isn't in total chaos and smoking weed in the halls between classes, Fletcher should provide a decent mix of opportunities for our kids. Sports, clubs, a decent academic program. Four blocks to the ocean. If I had to choose a high school for myself in this area, it would probably have been Fletcher. The main issue when compared to Sandalwood might be transportation, but that's really the case for any non-neighborhood or private school you might choose. I'd also have liked German as a World Language option rather than sign language (which is about as useful as Turkish to most students), but you can't always get what you want.

I also wanted to address the auditory handicap faced by the AICE program. Since everyone just pronounces it as ACE rather than spelling it out, I assumed it was the ACE program, which sounds a lot like some kind of program for reforming derelicts rather than something that competes with AP Capstone. I suppose IB (without knowing it's International Baccalaureate, sounds like a disease treatable with a steroid-free ointment, so whatevs. 

Rating: As of the writing of this article, Fletcher is the front-runner for our kids, but we'll have to take a tour and sign up for the AICE program. Did I mention completion of the AICE qualifies students for the Florida Bright Futures scholarship without worrying about SAT scores and whatnot? Anyhow, if the school looks like a decent facsimile of a high school, we're probably going for it. With $0 tuition (we do pay property taxes), it's good if at least a few of the public schools are worth considering, and Fletcher should be on your radar if you live in the Ft. Caroline area, especially since the actual time to get there is basically the same as going to Sandalwood.

[UPDATE]


We took a family tour of Fletcher, and it was good enough. Smallish gym and cafeteria. Some portables that might disappear with referendum money. But students who were not bouncing off walls, a decent auditorium, and some cool outdoor spaces. Basically, it didn't feel like a prison (memories of my own high school), and the staff didn't seem like prison guards (memories of teaching at other Duval schools).  I could imagine Mr. Shoop teaching summer school here, and that's pretty radical.

Also, we talked to a couple more students who confirmed that there are enough go-getters at the school, meaning the AICE or AP or Dual Enrollment classes that are offered are not just joke classes that anyone can sail through, and that's what we're looking for. 

[UPDATE 2]
Duval's online system is a new kind of awful, which I pretty much knew from the time I was applying for a position in the district. I had to create my third Focus account (one to apply, one as an employee, and one as a parent) in order to begin the enrollment process. You can't even bookmark the focus login page because, terrible. And then, there's a hidden application for students new to the district. This needs to be fully completed before you can choose a program with which to apply, even though the link you get if you didn't finish the application sends you elsewhere. What's insane is that someone is probably going to print all of the documents off to look at them, so why not just have me print them and mail them in rather than this mess, which reminds me of my last two mortgage application programs and the Florida unemployment system. 

[Update 3]
After a couple of years, both kids are on track to achieve full Bright Futures status through AICE. However, I have been somewhat disappointed with a couple of social studies teachers who assign way too much homework. We stayed away from Stanton because every student I talked to kept complaining about homework, yet my kids seem to do Stanton-amounts of work at home. Some electives end up kind of being study halls so students can get work done. The theatre program is OK, but it's enough for me that it exists at all. I'm also generally disappointed in all Duval Schools in the slow construction of new classrooms based on referendum money, but I guess my kids will be able to return to a nice school for a visit after they graduate. Overall, it's been a good mix of challenging work, lots of clubs and sports to try, and fairly friendly students. Sure, some leave campus to surf and / smoke pot, but that's just some.

Beaches Chapel High School
80-ish students
$8,500 tuition and fees

I kind of knew Beaches Chapel had a high school because my kids have played basketball at the gym there, and the school has all kinds of giant photos on the walls of the high school kids. What I didn't realize was that the high school was on the same campus as the K-8 school, and that the enrollment is less than 100 students. Like Harvest or Seacoast, it's doubtful Beaches Chapel can offer a substantial mix of honors, AP, and elective courses to make it a perfect choice. Fewer than 100 students at a high school is, without a doubt, small. 1/20th the size of Fletcher small. Too small?

The people I've met from Beaches Chapel Middle School seem nice, and I've generally been impressed with their sportsmanship in games compared to some of the other local Christian schools. My wife was just talking to a current student who seems to like it, as well. It's also cheaper than the Providence or BK options. 
We offer an advanced academic tract that includes college dual enrollment, fine arts department, international student program and a full athletic program in our new gymnasium and weight room.
The gym is nice, and using articles properly in sentences with lists is also a good idea. I think the quote from the website is probably reflective of what any small school deals with in trying to recruit: it can't have everything be perfect or new, so it promotes what it does have in kind of a disjointed list. Since dual enrollment isn't imperative to me, and neither of my kids are really weight room material, the gym and some kind of international student program stand out. However, if "international" simply means bringing wealthy Chinese kids to Beaches Chapel to help pay for costs, then it's not really anything...I looked it up, and that's kind of the thing, except all the kids look like they are from Italy rather than China. Anyhow, means nothing, so there's a gym. And the school is near the beach rather than sitting next to a seedy apartment complex in Arlington. 

Rating:  Just based on the kids, parents, and teachers I've seen at Beaches Chapel, I have to say it's probably our choice for a tiny high school over Harvest or Seacoast (or any other little high school hiding in the local woodwork). Luckily, there doesn't seem to be a waiting list, so if we need a backup school or feel like something smaller would be better once the kids start, Beaches Chapel will probably be available. 

River City Science Academy HS
500+/- high school students 
$0 tuition

Full disclosure here, I was hired to teach at RCSA back in spring of 2019 for the 19-20 school year, and we had it settled that both kids would be attending that charter school with me (when they started high school). About a month after I was hired, the offer was rescinded. It doesn't matter whether the school no longer had two openings or decided to go with nepotism. The school lost an excellent English teacher, but its real loss was two students who would have considerably improved the student body. 

When I was researching the school, someone told me to watch out for the Turks running it. I wasn't really sure what that meant, but maybe my experience was commonplace. When I looked the Turks up, it seems the people associated with River City Science Academy in Jacksonville are considered to be terrorists by the Turkish government, which is kind of the pot calling the kettle black. The other Turkish connection is that world languages offered at the school include Spanish and Turkish. That's pretty laughable, since no one wants to learn Turkish, and it's probably just another job for a family member. I believe I saw somewhere that students could take some sort of class trip to Turkey, too. Just weird, but probably a way for staff members to get a free plane ride home. I guess some immigrants run gas stations while others run schools. 

As far as other curriculum, I noticed the English Department was teaching the dumb-kid-book version of MacBeth, and it sounded like there was all kinds of test prep time before the yearly testing. I was told that teachers had a decent amount of freedom to teach, which is a good idea if your teachers are qualified. I can't really speak to that, as I only met the principal and two English teachers who seemed a bit self-important for teachers at a charter school. Yes, I'm a little bitter, but you would be, too. I was also very concerned with the school's teacher-mentor program where the teacher is expected to meet students on weekends at restaurants or libraries--I can't imagine this is a good idea or completely legal, and I was a little uncomfortable with the mandate when I was hired.

I am sure that a school that claims to focus on math and science probably does an OK job teaching STEM, and the school's been around for some time, so it's not like one of those charter schools that will fold next year. Unless it really is a terrorist front, but I don't think it is. The gym was new, too, though the school building and location were slightly odd and on a busy street, since it was not originally built as a high school. 

The main purpose of a charter school is to siphon off the best students (who can't afford private school) from the local public schools, and it seems that RCSA has done well in this role, at least for kids interested in science. However, here's one parent who was not impressed: 
This school does not offer anything special. If you want your child to succeed this is not the place. There is no challenge for smart kids.
I'm not sure I buy this sentiment, and most of the other negative reviews focused on students not liking the dress code. It seems the school DOES offer something special in science, at least. And kids seem to do well on state tests in English as well as math, so the school is consistently ranked in the top 20% of Florida schools. Another parent used questionable spelling to say these positives:
Very good school. Nice staff. Learning is there number 1 priority.
I believe the elementary version of RCSA is probably pretty decent (at least the one in Mandarin), and I also believe a lot of those parents send their kids elsewhere for a college-prep high school rather than stick with the program, but I don't have stats on that opinion. Ask the school if that's the case; they probably won't tell you the truth. 

Rating: RCSA is probably mostly a decent school that my kids cannot attend. Lower average ACT scores than Fletcher is kind of sad, especially since the school preps so hard for the Florida test (where it ranks higher than Fletcher). I'd rather the school prep kids for college/career and then hope for the best on Florida tests. 


Episcopal School of Jacksonville
1,000 students
$27,000 tuition and fees

Even with a best-case scenario of getting a $7,000 scholarship, this school would cost us $20,000 a year per kid. I met a guy who had three kids at this high school (and another kid), so he was spending $325,000  for the three, just for high school. My initial thought is that, as a financial adviser, this person had to take a little more than he deserved in order to pay Episcopal $850,000 to educate his kids. Keep in mind that this particular person was living in a $1 million+ home in Ponte Vedra (and paying taxes to St. Johns schools). I am not judging the man I met, but I am saying that there is nothing that can occur in my life that will have me sending my kids to Episcopal. 

Maybe, just maybe, if I knew I'd be hanging out with the next JEA CEO or the next mayor of Jacksonville, such an investment in my kids could be seen as beneficial to my own business, especially if the new mayor let me in on all the new schemes to fatten all his friends' wallets. But I could get that info at BK for half the price right now. Or at Mascara's for loose change. 

Rating: At some point, the price is more than too high for even upper-middle-class families to justify sending their kids to private school. It's not about getting into Ivy League colleges or getting the best education. It's just about spending the money because the neighbor will know your kid's high school diploma cost as much as a Mercedes AMG GT, and it really shows you love him that you sacrificed adding to your car collection to make sure he was indoctrinated, I mean educated, properly. 


University Christian
600+ students
$9,100 tuition and fees

I've been told by a few people that UC is more about sports than academics, and I don't mind that philosophy as long as academics are also good. Unlike public schools, UC doesn't have to report test scores, so it's hard to tell if academics matter. Here's what the website says:
The goal of the University Christian high school program is to be distinctively Christian in all that we do while providing the highest quality education, activities and experiences possible. University Christian offers two different diploma offerings; College Prep and College Prep Honors (based on credits earned and cumulative GPA).
I guess College Prep would be for Florida colleges, while College Prep Honors would be for students who want to attend out-of-state colleges. I guess it's entirely possible that UC administration doesn't realize  parents think the school is primarily a sports school. No real mention of AP or other programs, or colleges attended by graduates, or specifics about anything academic. Honestly, if the school had a good reputation as a top tier school academically, it wouldn't matter, but this is as much as I could find:
We utilize a rigorous academic program that includes an excellent, Biblically integrated college preparatory curriculum. Technology significantly enhances our program at all levels, as students utilize iPads as a tool for learning in newly designed state of the art classrooms.
Besides wanting to see an appropriate use of hyphens, I'd also like to know how this Biblically-integrated curriculum works alongside future-world classrooms. 

Rating: If UC really is good at academics, then it should be more obvious based on parents and students I've met, as well as evidence from the website. I would need to hear from some of the people with positive academic experiences at UC in order to look into it further. 

[Update]
One of my daughter's friends who attends the school has confirmed UC isn't exactly a hotbed for higher learning.

Atlantic Coast High School
2,350 students
$0 tuition

Let's say you decide to build a brand new high school in an area that has yet to be fully developed. You can fit over 2,000 kids in the school, but the surrounding population can't fill the school. What do you do? 

From what I've been told, the answer back when Atlantic Coast was built was to send all the behavior problems from Sandalwood and Terry Parker down to the new school. I can't really believe it, but that's what I've been told, and it led to the negative perception people have of the school. Supposedly, the school is OK now, and based on location, the school should be OK. 

Our daughter kept bringing up Atlantic Coast as an option, even though we didn't really think much about the school. I assume at least one of her friends wants to go there. I believe AC allows for open enrollment, and it might be the main AP school in Arlington/Southside/Beaches, which means someone in the Terry Parker attendance area can take the 295 down to Atlantic Coast for AP. If I liked AP more than AICE, then Atlantic Coast might be more tempting. 

It's also dumb that we have a First Coast High School and an Atlantic Coast High School in the same city, neither of which are ON the coast or describe the area where the schools are located. Whereas Fletcher is right by the beach; maybe Duncan Fletcher was some kind of champion surfer. 

Rating: Objective stats show that Atlantic Coast is very similar to Fletcher, both being slightly better than Sandalwood. All not as bad as some might think (I hope). For some people, it might come down to Early College, AP, or AICE, and there might not be a wrong answer. Either that or they are all wrong answers, which I hope isn't the case. 

[Update]
My daughter always talks about how nice Atlantic Coast is as a campus. It feels kind of St. Johns County-ish. If you like pretty buildings on an expansive campus (and AP Capstone), then Atlantic Coast might be for you.

Bishop Kenny High School
1,200 students
$14,000 non-Catholic student tuition and fees

There are two reasons why my kids won't be going to Bishop Kenny, and they are probably a little petty, but it's my right to go there as a parent who has to spend the money. First, I was in a minor accident with a young man who had attended Bishop Kenny and who decided to stiff me on the money he owed. That made the school look bad in my book, since he's the only person I'd met who had gone there. Second, Bishop Kenny charges A LOT more for heathen, non-Catholics (like us) to attend the school. Since only 10% of Jacksonville is Catholic, I'm sure plenty of non-Catholics or recovering Catholics send their kids to this school. I know, they want to convert people, but I can't accept a Pope or praying to Mary, even to save $5,000 off my tuition, so no BK for me.

Here's how BK sees its graduates:
Guided by the lessons of the Gospel, Bishop Kenny graduates will be persons of integrity capable of making life-decisions and positive contributions to their faith, family, and global communities.
Again, you can see why it was disappointing to meet a jackwagon graduate of this school who didn't pay his debt to me. I suppose BK taught all the right stuff, but not all students listen. I am sure the curriculum is fine and the teachers are fine and most students are fine, but like Providence, there has to be quite a payoff after graduation to warrant this kind of money. If I just wanted the kids to get into an Ivy League college, then I'd force them to attend Stanton. 

I know, this focus on money is probably causing those of you with all kinds of cash to shake your heads at me, like the guy in his leased BMW X7 M50i who shakes his head at someone with a Mercury Villager stranded on the side of the road. Yes, that person should buy a better car. And I should send my kids to BK. Thanks, Tad. My daughter and I did the math on a family that's sending their three non-Catholic kids to BK, after sending them to a private K-8 school, and we estimated that the family will have spent around $350,000 on tuition by the time it's all over. I live frugally enough that I could possibly retire on $350,000. So, yeah, the money is a big deal, especially if Tad loses his job as a consultant. 

BK is a perfectly good high school, so if you're Catholic (or want to appease the Grand Inquisitor and become Catholic), it's not even all that expensive, relative to Providence, Bolles, or Episcopal. Also, BK is either Burger King or British Knights to me. Remember British Knights?

Rating: If only I had a rich uncle who was also Catholic. 

[Update]
Back in Milwaukee, several of my friends went to Pius XI High School. We called it Holiday High because they got off school for selling enough fundraiser magazines or when the basketball team went to the state tournament. Probably for St. Peter's birthday, too. Anyhow, it seems BK in Jacksonville is also a bit of a Holiday High. It's better than Milwaukee's Hamilton High, which was known as Herpe High because of an unfortunate outbreak back in the 70s.


Stanton College Prep
1,500 students
$0 tuition

My joke with the kids when we walked around our own and other neighborhoods during graduation season was that the Providence, Bishop Kenny, Episcopal, and Bolles signs we saw were for kids who couldn't handle Stanton. It was a joke, so don't get all emailly about it. Yes, Stanton is the highest-ranked local school, but that doesn't mean it's right for your kids, even if they are overachievers like mine. 

Both of my kids have gotten all As since kindergarten, and both of them are generally in the 90th percentile rank for the major tests. Sometimes 95th or 99th; depends on the test. They qualify for Stanton, but neither of them is really interested, partially because we've heard the stories of kids taking home several hours of homework and studying incessantly. Stanton is like a big science experiment of throwing 1,500 of the area's best students together, having them take all the most advanced courses, and then also making sure they want to compete. I chose not to attend Milwaukee King (usually ranked about the same as Stanton) because I didn't want to deal with Ted K, William L, and Suzie ? as competitors in high school like I did in earlier years. I wanted to have fun, play sports, continue in French, learn a lot, and not burn out early. As a result, I kind of breezed through high school, got ranked #2 in my class, and got offers for academics and football scholarships, as well as the NROTC and Wisconsin version of the Bright Futures. What I'm saying is that you don't have to participate in the science experiment that keeps one local school on top of all the charts, unless you need that extra competition. 

I told my son that if he really wants Ivy League or MIT (and he thinks he does right now), then he can make it his goal to be the top student at whatever school we choose. He can load up on advanced courses, get a top five ranking, do whatever Ivy League wannabes do over the summer, and apply. And then also apply to his grandparents for the special scholarship he'll need. Or I can work nights as a security guard at The Episcopal School. The point is that he can get there with or without Stanton, and since we want both kids in the same school and the daughter has to choose first and she absolutely does not want the pressure of Stanton, that's what we're doing: something other than Stanton. And that's probably similar for a lot of those Providence, etc., signs we saw. Not everyone is the rags-to-riches, first-generation-college, perfect-ACT-seeking, full-ride-everywhere student. 

That said, Stanton is the best (academic) school around. Everyone says it, so it must be true. Also, I am totally confident that 30 years from now, more millionaires will have graduated from Stanton than Bolles or Episcopal, since it's all about education, hard work, and dedication. And I'm sure Stanton graduates are bright enough to recognize cynicism.   

One last thing. Just like Milwaukee, Jacksonville went and stuck its best school in one of its most undesirable neighborhoods. I have a daughter who is lucky if she'll be 5'1", and I'm simply not comfortable sending her to the Stanton location for four years. Here's how the Zip Code is described in terms of crime:
Mid-Westside crime rates are 194% higher than the Jacksonville average.
That includes a violent crime rate about 600% higher than the national average. The school itself cannot change the surrounding area, and it's just so pointless to have it there, even if the crime doesn't tend to affect students. If you want to build the new JEA headquarters or Amazon distribution center there, jobs and whatnot might result, but using local kids as ambassadors is arbitrary at best. Probably more insulting. Build a mayoral mansion on the school grounds and move the school to a safer area, in my opinion.

Rating: The truth is that no one today cares that I attended a weak public school or that my wife attended a school that costs more than Providence. They also didn't care when we first got hired or when we graduated college. It only matters when getting accepted to college, so Stanton is the best option if you have your heart set on a college that won't accept anything less (and you don't have Bolles money). 

[UPDATE]
We keep meeting people who confirm the amount of homework at Stanton. I don't get it. In general, educators agree that homework is to practice that which was learned in the classroom, so either Stanton students need a lot of practice or it's being used a different way. I've heard that it's to prepare kids for college, but you'd have to be taking 20+ credits a semester to equal the work load students are claiming.

[UPDATE 2]
I met an intelligent young man who attended Paxon, the other Stanton-like school in Jacksonville. He regrets it, and implied others regretted it more than him. Here are his arguments against these two academic-obsessed schools: No life because of workload; No friends because of competition and not living near anyone; no sense of community because of school locations; lack of high school atmosphere. But his last argument was the most compelling, that many classmates did not get into UF because they were not ranked high enough amid the intense competition, meaning they would have been better off in the top 5% at Sandalwood rather than top 50% at Stanton. He recommended attending another local school, taking some AP/IB/AICE, getting the right GPA, and doing well on the SAT/ACT--exactly my advice to my kids. 

[Update 3]
My daughter literally heard gunshots while playing soccer at Stanton. Granted, we live in Jacksonville, where guns are stolen from cars at a rate of one per day, but still. 


The Bolles School
800 students
$28,190 tuition and fees; $57,580 resident student

The Bolles School is legit, ranked in the top 10 as a sports school in the country while also maintaining average ACT scores of 27 (a single point lower than Stanton). If you want to go pro as an athlete or as a CEO, this is the best all-around school in the area to achieve either or both. And it's priced as such. 

Assuming money was no object and we had a chauffeur for the half-hour commute each way, I'd love to enroll the kids here. And if I didn't really enjoy their company, I'd send them to the boarding school for $60k, where I'm sure they'd learn proper etiquette for sailboat races, equestrian events, and boardroom meetings. 

It's funny that when we first moved here, my wife was at a teachers convention and met some teachers from Bolles. The problem is that my wife didn't know what Bolles was, so she said she'd heard of it. The teachers seemed disappointed that she wasn't more impressed. But teachers at Bolles are like construction workers who work on an oceanfront home: they are just providing a service for someone else who is much more impressive who has provided the worker with all the best material available. Neither the construction worker nor the teacher gets to live in the fancy house. And neither do my kids. Bolles is the perfect example of the American Dream for some. Maybe some kind of super-scholar or super-athlete qualifies for a full-ride deal, but the reality is that realism is priced out of existing here. It's a fairy tale--a Disney version, and the rest of us are supposed to stand in awe of it from a respectful distance. 

When I was teaching, I used to tell my students how I was worth a lot more dead than alive, since I had an insurance policy that was worth quite a bit more than my salary. The students always laughed and told me to keep an eye on my wife. If I died tomorrow, my kids could attend Bolles, unless their mom wanted to retire early and move to Hawaii. Bolles is a good and expensive school, but at the end of the day, it's still just a school, like all the others on this list. I personally think my kids would rather have me alive and available for them than either dead or so busy that I need to send them to a boarding school. 

Rating: If you want to have and can afford the best of everything, then I suppose you can't ignore Bolles (or Episcopal). However, my kids will be required to pursue the American Dream the good old-fashioned way: with rich folks (ie Bolles grads) riding on their backs. 


Let Me Explain. No, There Is Too Much; Let Me Sum Up

I believe just about every school on this list could be a top pick depending on specific requirements for students and parents. For example, mature Christians who want a lot of control over their kids might decide on Harvest, while parents who want half of a college degree paid off before high school graduation will want to check out Sandalwood. AP, dual enrollment, IB, and AICE are all possible reasons for you to choose one school over another while living in the Intracoastal West/Arlington region of Jacksonville. Just remember the first rule about Terry Parker High School is that nobody wants to go to Terry Parker High School. Beyond that, I hope this guide has helped you decide to give a local school a chance. If it convinced you to move to St. Johns County, then read my article about costs of living there. If you want to give AICE a chance, then you might meet my kids over at Fletcher. That is, of course, unless one of the other schools on this list decides to hire me to teach English, in which case my kids will go there and it's totally the best choice, for sure. 
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